Sparkles
by PoisonPrayer
Summary: One picture in a text book that made her heart race...One innocent internet message offering help... And two lives would converge and be forever changed. AU/Vamp/Human. Jasper and Bella
1. Chapter 1

**AN:** _Hi there! Thanks for clicking the link to this little story! I hope you guys enjoy the ride and stay around to the end. :)_

 _A massive thank you to Spudzmom, who very kindly agreed to give my stuff a read before posting it on here and letting me know if its shit or not, lol. If you haven't already checked out her stuff. Please do! Her Jasper's are to die for!_

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Nottingham, England.

Present day.

Bella stared at the screen in front of her, willing the words to flow, willing the information, the knowledge to be there in her brain, though no amount of willing made it come. By now, she should've made a clear dent in this dissertation, yet all she had managed was a few paragraphs, and even those were a little stretchy. Sighing heavily, she picked up her textbook and stared at the recent page that was open.

Frowning, she fingered the corners of the book. It wasn't the page she had last been reading, and she knew she would have a hard time trying to find her page in a book that was over a thousand pages long.

" I should've picked a smaller book." She sighed. If only she had picked a smaller book, things would've been simpler. But no.

Bella had reasoned with herself that a small book would mean more books to lug around and keep track of. It was bad enough having that thing to carry with her. Though the thought of a smaller book right about now was appealing. She would be able to find her page with ease, be able to pick up where she had left off, instead of flicking for ages trying to locate her page.

"I should've bookmarked it." Hindsight was such a marvellous thing.

Then again, she did choose a degree in something she knew very little about and was taught very little at school about it. In fact, she was taught absolutely nothing about the American Civil war. She had only discovered her thirst for it at college.

Whatever silly notion that gave her the idea to study American history, and write her dissertation on the civil war was beyond her now. She didn't think she could do this, let alone get a degree in it. She should've just picked history and wrote about World War 2. She had at least spent 2 years in school learning that and at least she knew more about English history.

That thought saddened her and left a bitter taste in her mouth. Thanks to her senior history teacher, she had almost lost her love of history. Unbeknownst to her, she would be facing her last two years at senior school studying World War 2, and while she didn't have a problem with that part of history, she just found it…well, boring.

Alas, it was too late now. She had one last year and she would be free. Free to go on and spread her wings. Maybe even do a Masters degree, though she highly doubted it.

While she loved learning American history, she didn't love it that much.

Maybe she would go travelling. Hop on a plane and venture across the pond and actually see the states. She could travel to places and see where key points of the civil war happened. After all, she had spent so long writing and learning about it, that it only seemed right for her to actually see the place. Of course, she would head to Texas.

Even without the connection to the civil war, she had fallen in love with it long before she began her course of American history. All those hours of watching Dallas had an impact on her, she was sure of it. The whole idea of cowboys riding horses in the hot Texas sun, topless, with beads of sweat running down their chiselled chest and well-defined abs, made her weak at the knees. She wasn't about to have anyone burst her bubble on that, no matter how much she realised that the imagine of Texas she had, wasn't really a reality anymore. Plus, she could buy some new cowboy boots without having to pay the stupid import price.

Looking back at the book, she noticed it was full of names. Soldiers who had died or gone missing in action. Bella hadn't even begun to think about that, or even plan to write that part in her dissertation just yet. She would...of course, she would. But that was way off, way, way off.

One name caught her eye.

"Major Jasper Whitlock. Youngest major...blah blah blah, missing in action." Bella looked again at the page, really reading the inscription about him. "Hm, missing in action my arse. More like he bolted at the first chance he got. And who wouldn't? It's one thing to be a soldier at twenty, but another thing to be a major and in charge of soldiers," she mused out loud.

Bella looked at the old photo of the young major, and her heart fluttered. He was striking in that photo, in full confederate uniform, looking strong and proud. She couldn't quite believe that this gorgeous young man, in a photo from 1863 could make her heart flutter. Yet, it did. There was just something about him, something that stirred deep inside of her as she looked at him. His curly hair falling just short of his ears, looked surprisingly good on him, even in today's era, she imagined that he could pull it off if he was alive today. It was hard to tell just what colour his hair was, while the description had said it was blond, she wondered just what sort of shade it was.

'Wonder if he ever got in touch with his family?' The thought pondered around her mind as she looked at the old black and white photo of him. Of course, if you're pretending to be dead, then it's not something you're going to do. However, deserters happen in every war and they normally always showed up at some point. She just found it hard to believe that he had been killed and they couldn't find his body. Though he did look proud in that picture, so maybe he was killed, but she doubted it.

"Maybe he was embarrassed," she mused out loud.

"Who's embarrassed?" Emma said as she peeked into her room, making her jump.

With her heart in her throat and racing, she turned to face her roommate. "No one, just talking out loud." Bella shrugged her shoulders, trying to calm her racing pulse as she looked back at the screen that had very little writing on it. "I'm never gonna get this finished!"

"Relax, come for drinks. You've got eight months before you've got to hand in that bad boy. And I know you'll walk it. You did last time," Emma said, slumping down on Bella's bed.

She didn't exactly walk it. Second-year exams had been hard, harder than she had thought they would actually be. In a way, she had assumed that they would be easy like her first-year exams were, but they were anything but easy. She had only just managed to get past the seventy percent mark, and had a lot of work to do if she wanted top marks. If she wanted that 1st.

" I'll pass, thanks." Bella rubbed her forehead. Drinks did sound nice and maybe Craig would be there... No! She thought. Craig was a bad, very bad and very foolish idea.

She and Craig had spent the best part of last year locked together. They weren't ever really together, not in the normal boyfriend and girlfriend sense they weren't. They just tended to always end up in bed together, and always very drunk. Craig was a big reason for her hard second year exams. If she had spent more time working and less time fucking, she might not have found them so hard.

"If you're struggling so much, then here." Emma pushed in and pushed her fingers away from the keyboard.

She watched as Emma typed in something into the search engine and clicked a link. Bella's disbelief covered her as Emma smirked while typing. The smirk unnerved her, she had seen it many, many times over the last two and a bit years, and it was always bad news. It was an evil smirk, one that said Emma was playing mean.

"Sparkling Major?" Bella questioned as she looked at the profile Emma had created for her. "What site are you on? This better not be a dating site!" she demanded at her.

"Would I?" Emma smirked some more as she typed away. "This site is filled with people all over the world that have tonnes of info on all sorts. And by any chance, someone across the pond will know all about the civil war and can help you." She answered honestly, "Besides, if anything, you'll have lost nothing," she added as she finished typing. "How does this sound. 'Silly Brit girl in the final year of American history degree. Calling all yanks with a wonderful knowledge of their history, more so civil war to help this poor Brit gal out. I'll trade wonderful info on Robin Hood if it helps."

"You can't say yank, Emma."

"Why not?"

"Because it applies to the north." Emma blinked at her. "The civil war...North and south... I don't want to offend anyone and if someone from the south reads it..." Bella trailed off.

"But didn't the north win?"

"Yes."

"So the problem is..." It was times like this, that Bella wondered just how her friend got into uni.

Surely, she couldn't be that dumb that she didn't have any idea the offence she could cause with that term? Granted, Emma knew jack diddly shit about American history, but it wasn't that hard to figure out that maybe it would be offensive, even more, when it's pointed out to you. But as Bella looked at her friend, she realised that Emma still couldn't figure out just where the offence might be.

"Just change it, Emma," Bella huffed. "And why sparkling major."

"Why not? You were all sparkly last summer with all that glitter, running around saying "I wanna take a ride on your disco stick" Sparkles." Emma giggled out the silly nickname, bumping her shoulder.

Bella shuddered at the memory. She had been so very drunk, so very stupidly drunk and a few of her friends who were doing art had glitter tubes on them. So how she thought it would be a good idea to cover herself in glitter and run around singing stupid songs... She had claimed that she wanted to be a fairy, and was leaving a trail of fairy dust in her wake. Everyone thought she was bonkers that night. And she was. She had sat her last exam for the summer and was free, so she wanted to go out with a bang. It had taken an age to remove it all and she had found, thanks to running to Craig, that its like sand and gets everywhere. How it even got in some places she really didn't know, or even care to know.

"And as for the major bit? I saw the page you're reading, nicked it from there." Emma shrugged, hitting the upload button, and thus throwing Bella onto a site she knew very little about.

"Thanks, I think," Bella grumbled as Emma patted her back.

"Welcome, Sparkles." She grinned at Bella.

"Stop with that name. Ugh," she cried, "You know I hate it." Emma just shrugged in response. Rolling her eyes, Bella hoped that these people wouldn't be filling her inbox with crap. Maybe she should've created a whole new email account for this, at least that way her normal account wouldn't be subjected to mindless crap. "How do they get in contact?"

"They pm you," Emma explained, but carried on once she saw the look on Bella's face. "You'll get an email saying that someone has messaged you, and you'll have a link to take to the site. After that, it's up to you how you wanna get the info."

Bella watched as Emma edited her bio a little bit, and was thankful she wasn't making her sound either dumb or desperate. "There we are, all posted." Emma smiled at her handy work.

Xoxoxo

It had been two weeks since Emma had posted Bella's cry for civil war help, and in those two weeks, she had achieved not a great deal. All hope of finding out anything decent seemed to be losing ground and fast. The people that had messaged her so far had not been massively helpful.

One had asked her if she was insane for even taking the course, let alone wanting knowledge in civil war. Bella had wondered just why this person had even bothered to message her if they didn't like the history. The guy had actually gone out of his way, gone into the history section and messaged her. Bell knew that not everyone shared her love of history, and there had been times when she wasn't sure just why she was bothering to do this course in the first place, but to go out of your way, just seemed silly to her. Maybe he was bored, who knows.

Another one wanted to know if she would fly over there for his knowledge. He had gone into wonderful detail of just what he wanted her to do in exchange for it. It had creeped her out a little bit and she'd almost deleted the bio there and then, but somehow, someway, something told her to hold fire just a little longer.

Her fear of this being a dating website was coming true. Like everything on the internet now, everyone used everything as a way to date someone. Wasn't that what dating websites were for? Bella had never been on a dating website but had thought they were pretty self-explanatory. You know, dating website, a place for singles, the clue being in the name. Yet, here she was, finding this site, just turning out to be a free dating site. No wonder the tv was filling up with dating adverts, they were clearly struggling.

And another helped her understand as little more of it all.

Unfortunately, his information ended at school level and Bella needed a little more than that. What he had told her, was only what she found out herself, with maybe a little bit extra, but not massive and certainly not enough to write her dissertation on. While she could and would do this, she really wanted a mentor to help her give both sides a strong point in her dissertation. It would be massively helpful to speak with someone who was in the civil war, but considering it had happened way over hundred years ago, she was shit out of luck there. Her best hope was finding someone who was a civil war expert, but she doubted she would find one on this site.

Maybe she should go back to google again.

But that was where the trouble started. There was so much conflicting information that she really didn't know what was right from wrong. And the more she read, the more it confused her. She had gone to the library in hopes of finding something there, and while it held vast books of American history, nothing had what she was looking for. Bella needed it to be perfect, to hold all she needed to know, but she couldn't find it. When she inquired about more civil war books, she had been informed that the books they had last year, had not been returned. Thus leaving their civil war section a little bare. Everyone who was on her course was searching for the best ones, and no one was handing them back. Right now, Bella regretted the decision to do her dissertation on civil war. It was a minefield of conflictions.

Deciding that she was going to remove her plea for help, she powered up her laptop. She couldn't help but feel disappointed in the thought of removing it, but she couldn't stand to leave it there any longer. It was eating into her time, she checked daily, just to see if the site had missed sending her an email, and by some luck, her prayers would be answered, but that hadn't been the case. Bella resigned to the fact that she would just have to trail through her books and look up online. She had to hope and pray that she didn't end up with a confused paper to hand in, that would result in her failing her course.

Logging into the stupid site for the last time, she saw the little mark next to her messages. Seeing it caused a slight tremor of victory to run through her. She had been right, the site hadn't sent her an email notifying her of the message. Not that it mattered massively now anyway. Clicking on it, she decided that she may as well read it before she removed herself from the site.

From: Long Time dead.

Hi, what sort of help you looking for? Not a massive north fan, but I know my south stuff well. Lemme know if I can help this poor Brit gal out. :-)

A faint glimmer of hope took root in her as she stared at the little message. It had been sent during the night, so this person was clearly from states. Judging by the fact that they had said they weren't a north fan, meant they were from the south. Maybe they had a relative who was in the civil war? Bella thought to herself as hope began to grow at a rapid rate inside her. She knew she shouldn't feel this hope, should not let it take hold, after all, this person hadn't given her any information yet, and might not know anything. Though, they had certainly said, or in this case, written, all the right words to make her think that not all hope was lost.

She needed to slow down though and think. Did she really want to message this person back, only to be faced with disappointment? Then again, what if she didn't message them back and this person turned out to be a shit hot civil war buff, she would kick herself for not trying. Coming to the forth drawn conclusion, Bella smiled, maybe she wouldn't delete it just yet.

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 **AN:** _So, that's chapter one. What you do guys think? I would love to hear your thoughts._


	2. Chapter 2

**AN:** _Hi there!_

 _Wow, I'm so pleased that so many of you have liked the first chapter. A massive thank you to everyone who has reviewed, placed this on alert and favourite. It means a lot to me._

 _A massive thank you to Spudzmom for once again reading over this for me and making sure its all pretty and lovely. If you haven't checked out her stuff, please do. You will not be disappointed!_

 _So, the first chapter was the present time, this chapter and the next few are going backwards in time covering Jasper. In a few chapters time, they'll both be back in the same timeline, so hang in there!_

 _Anyways... On to chapter 2!_

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Forks, Washington state, America.

Five years ago.

Jasper laced his fingers through his wife's hand and squeezed gently. He allowed his gift to flow from him to her. Something he tried not to do too often, choosing to keep his gift to himself, and not let Alice feel him. If she was to feel him all the time, then it would only add to Alice's worry as she would have access to his feelings. There was enough going on now without his wife and mate feeling everything he was going through. No, offering his gift now to her was best, and in his offering, he pumped as much comfort and love into her as he could, while she searched the future or possible futures.

Jasper couldn't shake off the feeling of dread that had sat in the pit of his stomach since the day he found out, and with each day that passed, that dread steadily grew. Slowly, it was creeping onto every thought, every feeling, every fibre of his being. He was being consumed by it, slowly. Painfully slow, and he knew it wouldn't stop until it consumed him, completely.

Garrett, a close friend of the family, had passed through Forks, taking a detour to visit them. It wasn't unusual for this to happen. Both himself and Carlisle knew a lot of nomads, who they called friends, and these friends knew that the family took up residence for years at a time in certain places. Places that allowed them to walk freely and fit in among humans. Jasper had known the minute he felt Garrett's signature of emotions, that this wasn't a social call.

Garrett had been passing through the cities when he had clocked the goings-on in nearby Seattle. Garrett had stayed there, keeping well hidden and undetected, while he observed the goings on. Two mature vampires where handling twenty or so newborns. Garrett heard the name Forks and headed this way, assuming that we must have been back in the area. Garrett had known that they were coming for the Cullens, without having to hear them actually say the name. The Cullens were the only large group of vampires in the area, and considering this wasn't the south, where vampires tended to be more on the feral side, it was a safe bet that the target was them.

At first, it was unclear to everyone else, bar Jasper, why they were coming here. Why would an army of newborns be created to attack them? They held no bad feelings or blood with anyone. No costing a vampire their mate, which would result in revenge. As far as they knew, there was no reason for this. But Jasper knew. He had already pieced all the information together and come to one conclusion. Maria. To him, it was the only thing that made sense, and also she was someone who knew what she was doing with a newborn army, after all, that's how he had been born into this life.

With him hearing word on her and now this, he knew she was behind it. A few days later, Alice had a vision that confirmed what he thought, what he already knew.

Jasper had always known this day would come, that it was only a matter of time before his past would catch up with him. He was almost surprised it had been this long before it finally did, but when you have an abundance of time, you can afford to take things slow. He knew Maria wouldn't be refused this time, not without a fight. Jasper had already respectfully declined her offer once, and he had held hope that she wouldn't come again. It was a vain and stupid hope, one in which he should've never have allowed to take root, yet he did. Jasper had thought that maybe she was just trying her luck when she sought him out last time, but that notion was foolish. He was foolish for even thinking it, foolish for allowing her to walk away when she came calling. Jasper should've destroyed her there and then, but instead, he'd allowed her to walk away, while Alice filled his head and in turn convinced him that she wouldn't be back.

"Do you see her?" Jasper asked.

He already knew the answer to that question, though he asked anyway. Jasper knew Maria well and he knew she wouldn't be there. It didn't matter how many times he got Alice to look, to see if maybe Maria had changed her ways. The result was always the same, Alice saw her, but Jasper knew it wasn't true. This battle would take place without Maria, this he was willing to bet his life on. That and the fact that this screamed a warning to him. Come back or else.

Yet, knowing this, believing this, he kept asking his wife to check. Just to see If she would be there and if she was, then he needed to take her out and fast. Though the chances of her leaving her territory were slim, even if she was desperate, it wasn't her style to leave. Maria would only leave if she had no choice. No, she would draw him to her.

To her grounds. Where she would have the home advantage.

"I keep seeing her, Jasper," Alice answered, rubbing her fingers across her forehead, trying to remove the tension that wasn't really there. It was a human gesture, one which they mimicked, and one he only ever saw when she was so confused and unsure. "Her, two others and newborns."

"It doesn't add up," Jasper stated, letting his wife's fingers fall from his. "This isn't her style."

Jasper wished his family would listen to him, listen when he told them they needed to act fast and plan this battle better. That they needed to take the fight to her. But it fell on deaf ears. They were relying on his mate's visions too much, that his experience with Maria was almost dashed away, and passed off as him over reacting.

Maybe he was overreacting. He had spent so long in that old life that he had almost become savage. Years it had taken him to come back to himself and that road had been long and hard. Alice had made all the difference when he found her, and he didn't dare think of how his life would've gone if he hadn't have stepped into that diner all those years ago. Jasper knew he was prone to overreactions, especially when it came to Alice, and any harm that could come to her. The thought of her being hurt, or worse, caused his instincts to go into overdrive. He had been beyond overprotective when Maria had sought him out last time, and it had taken a lot of convincing on the family's part to convince him that he didn't need to bolt with Alice.

Yet again, they had listened to Alice and her visions, something he seriously hated at times.

To them, they didn't need to, she was coming to them, why go there? Why move south into dangerous waters when they could just stay nice and safe in the north and wait for her. Jasper agreed that the south was dangerous waters, he had spent long enough there to know that, but to him, this was the better option than waiting here. The family took the vote and he lost. They were falling to see her goal.

Jasper sighed and looked out his bedroom window to see Rosalie and Esme sparring with one another. He needed to get back out there and help Esme out. She wasn't a fighter, far from it and was having the hardest time training. He knew that when it came down to it, Esme would step up to the plate, she would do all she could to protect her family, her children. But she struggled to train, to spar with her mate or her children for fear of hurting them, and because of that, she held back and made a lot of mistakes. Mistakes that Jasper needed to iron out before the battle was to begin.

It was a ploy, Jasper was sure of it. She was testing the waters or looking to damage them. Maria was smart, he knew this, he had been her second in command for a long time, long enough to know how she plots and wins. Maria knew how to win battles and get what she wanted, it was how she had survived for so long in the south, survived the constant wars that raged week after week, month after month. A lesser woman would've been dead by now. Maria wanted something, and she would stop at nothing to get what she wanted.

She wanted him back.

Jasper had caught wind that Maria had lost ground over the years and was trying to gain it back. The south was always fighting and throwing over ground, over the best feeding places. She had lost ground when he had been with her, though she had always won it back, and won more ground back with every inch she lost. Jasper had heard that Maria hoped her major would return to her, that he would dominate the south once more by her side. The thought sickened him. He wanted a peaceful life, and while he was dangerous and highly skilled, he wanted peace more than anything else. The life he had led there was a life he didn't want again and would sooner face death than have that life once more.

"She will be there, Jasper." Alice insisted, moving to Jasper and wrapping her arms around his tense waist. Her head rested against his shoulder, and he had to fight the urge to shrug her off him. The last thing he wanted right now was her against him, holding him to her. He didn't want to hurt his mate and knew she was doing this more for herself than for him, but he couldn't help but feel as though she was dismissing him.

"You can be fooled, Alice. Don't trust so much in that gift of yours." His tone was harsh but low, unwilling to draw the household's attention to them. Jasper hated the attention at the best of times, and the last thing he needed was for the family to hear them fighting.

He felt Alice's stab of pain at his wording. It washed over him before invading him, and in turn, her stab of pain caused him to feel pain. Jasper felt a little sorry that he had caused his mate, his wife pain, but she had to be told, and no one else seemed to be able to do it. What he had said was true. She could be fooled, all gifts could be and he knew this. This was the difference from him to them. Their sheltered life had led them to believe that their gifts were untouchable. Jasper found it amusing, but he had to see it from where they were standing too. None of them knew the horrors of this world, none of them knew what it was like to have to have a way to beat someone with a gift in order to survive, in order to feed. They had no idea what it was like to ignore your gift, in order to survive. Having to switch off something that's so ingrained to you, in order for you to know the key points of when to use it, and in turn, not rely on it. Jasper had spent years in southern wars, years fighting with and against those with gifts.

Jasper witnessed those who were too sure of their gifts, being ripped apart and killed. He had learnt not to think in battle, and never to get within touching distance of the enemy unless you planned on ripping them apart. Jasper battled on instinct, an instinct that had been honed over years and years of practice. It wasn't something you could just learn either, it took a lot of time to retrain your instincts to fight how you wanted too. To have it become second nature that no thoughts were any longer required, it just happened. It was one of the reasons why he lived so long in the south and why he was so damn good.

Alice and the rest of his family didn't truly realise what they were dealing with. Well, maybe Carlisle did. He had been around a hell of a long time, and was very wise, though the head of the family was a peacemaker and would try and avoid a fight at all costs. They never would know the horrors of war or their ill-placed beliefs in their gifts. They never would, not unless they had lived that life of war.

"She'll be there," Alice said again, a little firmer this time.

But she wouldn't be. She wanted them to believe that, Jasper was sure of it. Sure that Maria had had her spies on him, on them for a while. After all, the woman was a pro at planning battles and winning wars. Jasper wondered how long she had been spying on him. Since she last sought him out? Probably, but he didn't voice this with the rest of the family, or Alice for that matter. It was pointless to do so, they wouldn't listen anyway. Jasper knew that Maria would know the talents the family had within them. She already knew he was an empath, and it wouldn't be hard to find out that his mate was a physic, and one of his brothers could read minds.

Both his mate's gift and his brother's were almost useless in battle, even more so against a seasoned fighter like himself. Edward's gift ranked slightly better in battle, compared to Alice's, only because he could read the person's thought, know their move a moment before they made it. It would be useful against a bloodthirsty, out of control newborn, as long as there was only one of them and not three or else four. Then he would suffer, his gift would confuse him too much. Edward relied on it too much, making him a semi-decent fighter, when it was one on one.

Alice's gift was even worse. She needed to see the move happen in her mind. And for that to happen, her opponent needed to make a decision first. Once that vision hit, she would know the outcome and could attack or defend accordingly. On paper, that seemed like a pretty great gift to have on the battlefield. Though, reality works very different to what's on paper. When Alice gets hit with a vision, she becomes almost completely useless, making her an easy target to pick off. She couldn't defend herself and see the vision at the same time. It was almost like she blanked out when she got one. Jasper knew that she wouldn't last long against a newborn and even less time against someone like himself.

He needed them to be more ready than they were. Needed them to know, without a shadow of a doubt that Maria knew their gifts.

The first rule of battle; know your enemy.

Alice kept seeing her there because that's what Maria wanted them to believe. And because she kept seeing Maria there, the family dismissed Jasper's objection.

Kissing Alice's head, he hoped he was wrong and she was right.

Xoxo

' _Never bet against Alice,'_ Emmett had reminded him as they left the house this morning.

Perfect memory recall flooded his mind as he moved through the battlefield. Old habits, old ways, came forth like he had never been away from war. His beast growled and roared as he bit, ripped and destroyed anything that came in his path.

' _Never bet against Alice.'_ It swirled around his mind as he roared and ripped another newborn apart, sending bits of venom and vampire flying.

Alice had been wrong, he had been right.

 _Alice..._

Jasper refused to feel, refused to look for her on the battlefield. He had heard her cry only seconds before it was silenced forever. Jasper hated himself, hated that he had moved away from her. That he had clocked the five newborns to their right and had gone after them. He should've stayed near her, should never have moved, but he had. He didn't need to look for her now, there was no point, he wouldn't see her . Just like he wouldn't see Maria. Maria had tricked them, tricked Alice's visions, just like he had presumed she would. The family had been so sure in Alice and her visions, that Jasper's years of knowledge on Maria was brushed aside.

' _Why didn't you listen to me?'_

The smell of burning vampire flesh and smoke filled his nostrils and he destroyed the last newborn he could get his hands on. Inflicting his pain into them, both physically and emotionally.

 _Oh God..._

The pain began to creep into his chest as he realised there was nothing else he could rip apart and burn. Nothing else to distract him from the reality of what he was faced with, what he was feeling. Desperately, he pushed the feeling down, trying to keep a lid on it while he was still on the battlefield. He wouldn't crumble here, not on the battlefield and certainly not when he knew it would get back to Maria. Instead, he looked around him, checking his family.

Rose and Emmett were holding each other tightly. They looked dishevelled, with torn clothing, but other than that, they seemed fine. Jasper could feel their loss, their pain. It washed over him, trying to push into him, into his skin and body. It mirrored too much of his own, that it threatened to bring him to his knees. He couldn't cope with his and theirs as he began to feel his grip on his ability slipping.

 _No!_

He roared the word in his head, slamming the lid on his emotions before he crumbled. It took every bit of strength he had to push it all down and switch it off.

Jasper saw Carlisle and Esme. They were doing the rounds, picking up bits of missing vampire and tossing them into the fires that blazed around the field. Carlisle felt a great sense of loss. Jasper knew that this battle would be hard on Carlisle when it came to the end if it. He didn't relish killing, taking a life just to survive, it was a big factor in him sustaining on animal blood. Carlisle's great sense of loss was bearing down on Jasper. The loss of life for those on the battlefield that were no more than ash; the loss of life within the...

Jasper growled, stopping his train of thought. It was a dangerous ground, he needed to change his course of thought, but he was struggling to find something else to think of. Something else to focus on.

Esme caught his eye, and he wished he could look away, yet he couldn't. Tears that would never fall filled her eyes as she smiled sadly at him. Her mouth twitched with a sob that was already lodged in her throat, waiting for the right, or wrong moment to escape. It wouldn't take much for her to lose it and begin to cry tears that would never fall for the loss. Jasper knew that she wanted to go to him. Her motherly instincts were on overdrive, he could feel it in the undercurrent of her emotions. She knew one of her own was hurting and she wanted to comfort him desperately. It didn't really matter to Esme that Jasper wasn't her child, that he was classed as a man when he was turned, or that he was older than her in vampire years. This was just a tiny little detail that she chose to ignore once he became part of the family. Jasper knew she would wait to go to him, for a short time at least, he was safe from her crippling emotions.

His eyes cast around, picking up Edward's emotional signature. Deep self-loathing ran the undercurrent of pain he was feeling. Jasper knew the pain he was in was more than just loss of his sister. Edward had been hurt.

Narrowing in on his brother's signature, Jasper saw him lying almost motionless on the ground. His body was only just starting to twitch to try and locate its head.

Edward had been lucky, very lucky in fact. Jasper noticed that his brother's body had fallen within a metre of a fire. If the fighter that had ripped his brother's head off had been smart, he would've been dead. As it was, the fighter had not taken in his surroundings as he thought, thus saving Edward. Though, someone else could've easily turned him to ash while he lay there. It would have been so easy for a newborn to throw his body in into the nearby fire, and he would have met the same fate that Alice had.

' _Alice'_

Jasper's eyes slammed shut. Right now he couldn't even begin to comprehend what this all meant. What it meant to his family, what it meant to him. He had never thought about a life without her. He wasn't even sure he would cope if she wasn't there.

Picking up Edward's head, his fingers clung into the mess of bronze hair. Walking towards his brother's fallen body, he was glad he didn't have Edward's ability right now. It was bad enough feeling their emotions, let alone hearing their thoughts and seeing past memories. Jasper was lucky that he could shut down his ability to a degree-well, he could ignore it. Edward couldn't ignore his gift. His poor brother was subjected to every thought, every image that ran through someone's mind. Jasper knew that if he had his brother's ability right now, going through what he was, on top of seeing and hearing everyone else's thoughts, he would have walked into the fire already.

Sitting his brother up, he allowed Edward's back to rest against his chest as he placed his brother's head back on his neck. Jasper held it in place as it began to fuse to its body again. Neither of them spoke to each other, both too engrossed in their own thoughts to talk. That was something that Jasper was happy for. He wasn't ready to talk about it, to even address what had happened. For Jasper, this was all a bad dream. An incredibly bad dream that he wanted to wake up from. Quickly, he scanned his brother for signs of any other injuries. Bar a few bite marks, something that they had all received, he was good.

Taking hold of Edward's wrists, he placed them either of his head. "Keep your hands there, it'll take another five or so mind, to fully fuse. A hunt will help," Jasper stated flatly. He rose up from the ground and began to head back to the house, not bothering to wait for his family.

He didn't have it in him to voice any emotion. Not now, maybe not ever. The thought of allowing his emotions out almost crushed him. He didn't want to feel it – any of it - so he did the only thing he could think of, he shut down.

* * *

 **AN:** _So, yeah? How was that? Sorry for killing Alice, but I couldn't really keep her alive and be good. I didn't want her to be bad either, so death it was._

 _If you guys wouldn't mind, I would love to hear your thoughts._

 _Thanks._


	3. Chapter 3

**AN:** _Hi there!_

 _I'm completely blown away by the response chapter 2 got. Didn't really think it would gain so much attention in such a short space of time, so thank you to everyone who reviewed, placed this on alert and added to your favourites._

 _So, we're still in the past. Someone asked where Garrett went, and why Peter or Charlotte wasn't there. Not to mention any of their friends. Well, in all fairness, they weren't there during the newborn battle in Eclipse, that and killing Alice off would have been harder to achieve that way._

 _A massive thank you to Spudzmom for reading over this for me and letting me bounce ideas off her. I know a lot of you found this because she pimped me out. So I owe her much thanks._

 _Okay, here we go. See you at the bottom!_

* * *

Forks, Washington state, America.

Five years ago.

Jasper wasn't sure he was living anymore, just existing, and even that was poorly done. For days he didn't move, staying in one spot on the bed, his bed, _their_ bed. He had found himself in their room after the battle, and hadn't moved an inch. Somehow he had managed to get back home, and into the room they once shared. Jasper wasn't completely sure how he had achieved that. He remembered leaving the battlefield, not bothering to wait for his family, but after that? Nothing. Was it even possible to forget how you have gotten somewhere when you have perfect recall? But Jasper didn't ponder on that thought too much, it seemed pretty insignificant given the current situation. Instead, he had crawled onto their bed and curled in a ball.

There he had stayed for days, in the clothes he wore at the battle. The smell of venom, sickly sweet, clung to him, along with the smell of smoke. It should churn his stomach, it had in the past, but he found it oddly comforting. Jasper knew he should shower and change, but he couldn't find it in him to do so. It was too much of an effort to attempt it, too much of a normal everyday task when nothing would ever be normal again for him. Jasper hadn't even acknowledged his family, not even really realising they had returned from the clearing. In some way, some part of his brain had noticed their return, the change in the emotional climate had shifted and in turn, it had clocked on his radar. Jasper barely registered them coming in and out of his room, checking on him and uttering words to him that he didn't listen too.

He was just unwilling to move from his spot, choosing to just stay still until he could take no more.

He had tried to keep his emotions, their emotions, out. Tried to keep everything shut down, but he couldn't. Jasper's ability soon got the better of him, it was bound to happen at some point. His gift was so ingrained into him now, too much a part of him that completely shutting down was never going to last. When it finally broke through, he broke.

Jasper broke like he didn't even realise it was possible to break. He was trapped in a sea of emotions that were so deep, so raw that he couldn't escape them, only managing to sink deeper and deeper into the darkness. His ability seeped out of him and flooded the house, while he cried quiet tears that would never fall. Images of his life, their life, crashed into him over and over again, and he was powerless to stop them. His memories became nothing more than a curse to him as perfect recall of his life flashed in his mind's eye. Jasper hoped beyond hope that he could just get them to stop, to be able to find pause so he could breathe.

No matter what he tried to do, their life continued to plague his mind.

Cries of pain left him as he tried to wrap his head around what had happened.

But he couldn't. He couldn't get to grips with it. How could he? Alice was his everything, his rock that grounded him and kept his past at bay. How the hell was he meant to move forward now? She was his light when everything around was black. His vampire mind, so capable of thinking of so many things at once, couldn't get to grips with this. It was almost like it failed to compute the reality of what had happened. How? He wasn't sure at all, maybe the loss of her had damaged him so greatly that his mind couldn't function now when he needed it the most.

What had happened, and what lay in front of him scared him, deeply.

' _How did this happen?'_

Jasper never thought he would have been in a position where he couldn't protect her. He was so sure in his abilities that he had failed to even contemplate that he couldn't.

 _'A mistake that cost him dearly.'_

For over fifty years they had been together, and not once had he trained her to fight, to really fight and be able to protect herself instead of relying on her ability. Yes, Jasper had shown her a few moves, but he had never taken the time to invest in good solid training on her. Something he should have done years ago. How many countless newborns had he trained, yet he didn't even bother to fully train his mate? How long had he spent fighting? Facing battle after battle...they were too many to count. He was perfect for training her, to teach her, but he hadn't.

He never thought that she would need to know.

 _How wrong was I?_

Jasper was a seasoned warrior, an excellent fighter, his scars proved that. His name had once sprung fear to others, and to some degree, still did. His name was known in the vampire world, he had prided himself on the fact that he couldn't be beaten. Every battle he had ever faced, he survived. But the one battle in his life that mattered, he failed.

He should have known better.

Jasper was now breaking apart at the very seams of his being; scared shitless at what his future now held. Unable to see any light now in his dark sea of pain...

Xoxoxo

Jasper pushed himself into the hunt that he was all but forced on. He hadn't wanted to go, but his brothers weren't taking no for answer. They had forced him to leave the confines of his room to go on a weekend hunting trip. A trip he really didn't want to be on.

' _His room.'_ The thought rang inside his head, almost like it was on a loop. They used to refer to it as their room, or Alice's and Jasper's room, never _his_ room.

It used to be their room, it used to hold his heart, his light, his life. All it held now was broken pieces of what was once there, what he once had.

For the first few days after Alice's death, the family had given him a wide birth with their emotions. They had tried to hold it in for his sake, but he could still feel them, no matter how hard they tried to push them down, trying to ease his suffering.

They had all attempted to talk to him, to try and get through the sea of pain he was in. Each one had tried, either on their own or in groups, but it was no use. Every time they tried, they felt more frustrated than when they had entered his room. Jasper was unresponsive.

Every now and then he would mutter a reply, just to get them to leave him alone. It wasn't that he didn't appreciate their efforts because he did, more than he was willing to admit. Jasper had always wondered if they just tolerated him for Alice. It was no secret in the house that he struggled the most with this diet, this lifestyle. Jasper had slipped up so many times and caused them to move, bringing anguish inside the Cullen family. He feared that they didn't really want him around because of his past.

In the past, he had often felt like he was only here because of Alice because it's what she had wanted, it was what had made her happy. But now, he realised just how much he was wrong in all his assumptions. Jasper did want to be part of the family, part of something that was so calm and different to the life he had once lived. When Alice had died, a thought lingered in his mind that they would want him to leave now, but their efforts in trying to reach him showed that they did. Jasper wanted to talk, but he just couldn't find the right words to say to them. He couldn't function when he was in such a bad state.

After a few weeks, his brothers had had enough. They were past trying and were now forcing him out, claiming that he needed to get out, to get away from his room that held so many memories. They argued that it would do him good, help him heal if he would remove himself from somewhere that gave him so much pain, but he wasn't so sure. He couldn't escape the memories in his mind.

That and he hadn't hunted since the battle.

He caught Emmett's eye, concern marring his features. Jasper read his brother's emotions. He was hurting, hurting for the loss of Alice, hurting for seeing what Jasper had become without her. They all were. Jasper was just a shell, nothing more, nothing less.

Emmett kept gaining courage, wanting to say something but losing it again. It washed over Jasper until he could take no more.

"Just spit it out, Em," Jasper said, cornering Emmett into speaking.

Emmett slowed down his pace, before stopping completely and looking at Jasper, who merely stopped. "You're not going too, are you?"

Jasper knew what he was referring to. He had caught their conversation when they thought he wasn't listening. It was something they all shared. This deep-rooted feeling that Jasper would join Alice in the afterlife, if there was such thing as an afterlife for the likes of him.

He knew that one of them would eventually say something to him, he was surprised that it was Emmett that was the first to breach this subject. Jasper had assumed it would have been Carlisle, or maybe Esme with her constant fussing over him.

"No," Jasper whispered, unable to look at his brother. "I've thought about it, though." Shame coating his every word as he spoke.

It was an honest answer. He was so lost that he doubted he could find his path again if he even had a path anymore. Alice accepted him. She saw past his scars, past the beacon that screamed danger to their kind. Alice had never been fazed by them, she had realised that he may look scary, but he really wasn't, that underneath it was someone who longed for peace and calmness. She knew he was just a product of war.

Alice stood by him when he slipped. When the temptation of human blood became too much and he took a bite. She held him when the feelings of his victims crushed his soul and brought on his depression, never once blaming him for his mistakes. Always offering her love and comfort to him when it happened.

Jasper never made it a secret that he would sooner have his natural food source. It was so much more filling than the animal blood he drank. But he only chose to feed on animals because of the feelings he suffered if he dined on humans. The crippling emotions of his victims dying because of him. Alice encouraged him, helped him more than any of them knew when it came to eating animals. Helped him when he tried to push himself and go as long as the rest of the family between feeds. Now she wasn't here, he wasn't sure he could carry on the diet.

 _Maybe I should just feed natural and sink further into depression_.

"Oh."

"But I won't."

"Why?"

Jasper's eyebrows shot up into his hairline. He was taken back by Emmett's forwardness on the subject. Then again, he shouldn't really be that surprised, Emmett was normally forward in everything. "I don't mean that I want you too."

"I know, Em, I know." He sighed and ran his left hand over his face, feeling the gold band brush his skin. Looking at it, Jasper half smiled. "Because of her."

"She would want you to live."

Jasper nodded his head in agreement at Emmett's remark. "Do you think she saw?"

Jasper couldn't answer right away. He wasn't sure if she had seen it, seen her death and seen how he would become without her. If she did, she never said, she hadn't left anything behind really to indicate that she did see anything.

"She left a note on the bed, telling me to live," he answered. "So she must have seen a possibility that she would die."

"Do you think that's why she voted against you?" Shocked covered Jasper as he took in his brother's words.

His fists clenched down by his sides, fighting the urge to hit his brother for even suggesting such a thing. Did he think that what he and Alice had was fake? That she would have sooner died than have to spend a moment longer with him. Was that where Emmett was driving towards with this?

A growl rattled in his chest, deep and menacing, warning his brother to back off and back away from him before he lost what little control he still had. Deep down he didn't want to hurt his brother, but at that time, he couldn't comprehend why he would say such a thing to him.

"Hey, chill," Emmett growled back, holding his hands up towards Jasper. "I don't mean anything bad by it. But, I was just thinking..."

Jasper cut him off before he could say anymore. "Don't think, Emmett, it's mighty dangerous to your health," Jasper spat, rapidly losing his grip.

"Think about it," Emmett protested, taking a step back as he saw his brother begin to lose control.

"Jazz, cool off," Edward spoke. Jasper's eyes snapped to his younger brother, wondering if he thought the same as Emmett did. "Emmett is only wondering if she chose to sacrifice herself to save the rest of us."

A deep growl came from within Jasper. "I suggest he," Jasper pointed a finger at Emmett, "learn to keep it shut. You all cost me, none of you listened to me. What the hell did I know? Not one of you backed me. You all placed faith in her gift and look where it got you all."

"Jazz..."

"You will listen." Jasper knew, somewhere in the back of his mind he realised he had snapped. He was no longer in control of himself as his pain suddenly turned into anger. "I warned all of you. I told all of you that Alice was wrong, but did any of you believe me? No. I only served alongside Maria for years, knew her better than anyone of you. Knew how she would operate this, but you all placed your misguided faith in Alice."

Jasper took note of the shocked expressions on both his brother's faces. Neither of them had expected this, Jasper was almost positive of that. A dark chuckle escaped his lips as he realised that they truly believed they would have no come back for their part in Alice's death.

"Who do you trust? The one with the battle experience or the one with the gift of sight?" Jasper sneered. "You picked wrongly, foolishly, and it was me that got hurt."

"Jasper..."

"I don't want to hear it!" Jasper could feel his muscles begin to lock into position as he began to drop down into a crouch. "You think I actually care how you feel? How any of you feel? I lost everything that day, you lost nothing. A sister doesn't even compare to a mate."

"You need to..."

"I swear to God, Edward, you say one more word and I'll rip that head of yours right back off!" Jasper's body shook at the sheer magnitude of his anger. "You feel for nothing how I felt for Alice, Edward. Consider yourselves lucky that I don't have anyone of you on my hit list after Maria."

Jasper took off, no longer willing to stand there anymore. He raced far into the valleys and mountains that surrounded them. His need to get away was overpowering, to be on his own and be allowed to calm down by himself. Somewhere, he knew that his anger had gotten the better of him, but he'll be damned if he was going to take back what he'd said.

He had meant every single word of it. He resented them for not listening to him, for not voting for him instead of against him. All of them had stood against him, and because of that, he had lost out - paid the biggest price. While they were all still mated, bar Edward, Jasper was now alone and completely devastated.

There was a part of him that was glad he hadn't gotten into a fight with his brothers. While he may resent them, he didn't want to cause them any pain by ripping them apart or worse, destroying them. But he was hurting and they had played their hand in it. While they may regret their decision to vote against him now, it wouldn't change the outcome, nothing would.

Finally falling to his knees in the woodlands, his fingers clung into the dirt as his feelings crushed him all over again. Their guilt finally registering with him had brought him to his knees. It covered him so thickly, that he feared he would never sift through it and find a way out. He didn't need to feel their guilt right now. Jasper was too fragile to handle it and be able to deal with it effectively without him feeling like he was being crushed by it. Growls ripped from his chest, loudly into the night air as his fists pounded against the dirt.

He wanted to hurt something, break something, anything that would give him an outlet from what he was feeling, but nothing did. It didn't matter how may trees he uprooted, or boulders he smashed, his outlet never came.

Jasper finally stopped his attack on the woodland just as the sun began to break through on the horizon. Standing still, his hair dishevelled, his clothes now dirty and torn, new pain stabbed in his chest. As the pain crept in he realised that they never even said sorry or admitted they were wrong.

Jasper wasn't sure if he would have listened to them if they had, but he felt like they should've done. They should have acknowledged their hand in his pain. How their blindness had led to him losing everything that ever meant anything to him.

Vampires were selfish creatures. Was that why they didn't voice it? Because deep down they were glad they didn't have to suffer that pain, his pain. Were they somewhat happy that Jasper was the one to suffer, the one less deserving of happiness? Jasper tried to stamp that thought down and not let it take root, but he couldn't help but feel as though there maybe some truth in his thought process.

Their guilt and remorse meant very little to Jasper.

Feeling it was one thing, their guilt and remorse, but hearing it was something completely different. None of them had done that, and to Jasper, that hurt him more than them trying to compare his pain to theirs.

* * *

 **AN: _So, thoughts?_**

 ** _I'm going to be updating this story once a week from now on. So look out for the alert around Monday/tTuesday._**

 ** _Thanks_**


	4. Chapter 4

**_AN:_** _A massive thank you to everyone who has reviewed the last chapter. I love hearing what you guys think of this so far. Reviews are our only form of payment, so it's always good to know what everyone thinks of the story you've written so far._

 _We do time hop in the middle of this chapter, bringing them closer to the present time._

 _A massive thank you to Laura/spudzmom who is super kind and checks over my chapters for me. She's been a great help thus far, letting me bounce ideas off her. If anyone hasn't checked out her work, then do so, you won't be disappointed._

 _I wasn't going to post this until tomorrow, but the ankle biters are driving me crazy this morning, so I thought I would escape for five mins to post it. The joys of kids!_

* * *

 _Forks, Washington state, America._

 _Five years ago._

Days had passed since Jasper had taken off from the hunting trip with his brothers. He wasn't sure just how many days and nights had escaped him while he dealt with his emotions, their emotions. His head was a complete mess, trying to shift through all the negativity that now dawned there, not to mention his own personal hell of the life he had flashing in his mind, torturing him, teasing him, reminding him that it was all gone.

Jasper was pretty sure it was less than a week, but it had all blurred together at some point that he couldn't be sure. Time meant very little to him now, and he no longer cared to keep track of it. Why would he? It would only serve to remind him just how long it had been since Alice's death.

So many hours had been lost to him while he sat with his back against the mountains, staring up at the sky. His eyes had been unfocused, unmoving as he stared, seemingly locked in his own personal hell. Jasper couldn't really say what he thought about it, he didn't have much recollection of the past few days. Thoughts, feelings and memories had flashed through him, but he had zoned out from everything. Finally, he had come to and decided to head home.

 _Home_. The thought amused Jasper slightly. He wasn't even sure where home was anymore.

Yes, he lived with the Cullens, but was it really his home? It was somewhere he called home, somewhere he had a family of sorts, and on paper, it's his home. Yet, it didn't feel like home anymore. His home had always been Alice. For the last sixty odd years, it had been where ever she was, was his home. Now, though, with her not being there, he just felt at a loss being there.

As he broke through the treeline, he saw Carlisle standing there by the back door seemingly waiting for his return. Jasper had felt the head of the household long before he saw him. His emotional signature touched his senses the moment he had crossed back into Cullen territory. Deep compassion laid at the very bottom of his emotional state, underneath his concern, slight trepidation and apprehension.

Jasper knew he had to face Carlisle. He had to come face to face with the man who ultimately cast the head vote and say for the family's well-being. Carlisle could've overturned the vote, Jasper knew this. He had watched the family vote before when he had favoured in the losing vote, deeming it more beneficial for the family. So why hadn't he done it this time? Carlisle was well aware of who Jasper was. The man he had once been, who was still lurking underneath the calm and gentle exterior. Jasper was sure that even though he lost the vote, the head of the family would see reason and favour Jasper because of his experience.

No doubt his brothers would have informed the head of the house about his little display of anger during their weekend hunting trip. He couldn't fault them for that, not really. Jasper knew he would have done the same if it had been one of them. A concern to make sure that everyone was aware that someone in the family had gone off the rails.

A thought crossed Jasper's mind, if Carlisle had wondered if, during Jasper's absence from the family, he had fallen off the wagon. It would explain the trepidation and apprehension that he could feel. Jasper was proud of himself for not doing that, doing what would've been so easy for him to do. That said, Jasper doubted he could have coped with any more negative emotions. He was swimming in them as it was, drowning almost, only just managing to keep his head above the water. Jasper needed to find more positive ones to counter out the bad ones, and killing someone wouldn't help achieve that goal.

"Son?" Carlisle's voice was calm, the slightest trace of concern laced around his form as he looked at Jasper.

"I'm not sorry for what I said, Carlisle," Jasper stated as he came to a stop and crossed his arms over his chest.

He was no longer going to play the role of son , and act as though Carlisle was his father. Not in this, anyway. Jasper wasn't a boy, he hadn't been a boy for a long time. He was a man, had been a Major in the Confederate army, and was the second oldest vampire in the family and he'd be damned if Carlisle thought for one second he would say sorry or take back what he said. He had meant every word.

Jasper would stand his ground here, and not back down.

"I know," Carlisle smiled and waved a hand inside. Jasper felt nothing but compassion, love and concern coming from him, but it was forced. He could feel it, just underneath it all, almost completely masked was Carlisle's regret.

Jasper nodded his head towards the older vampire as he walked inside the family home. Stopping inside the kitchen, he looked around the pointless room in the house. They didn't use it, they didn't even need it, but somehow so much seemed to transpire in there. Jasper assumed that it was a human trait they had all carried over with them, the pull to the kitchen to gather.

The heart of the family home.

"Emmett wasn't implying anything, you must know that, Jasper." Carlisle offered as he stood across from Jasper.

Jasper did know that. He knew now his brother hadn't meant anything bad by his comment. Though, at the time it had only angered Jasper and turned his pain into anger. Even though he was aware of this fact, what he had said still stood.

"Let me put it this way to you," Jasper stated, holding eye contact with the head of the family. "If it had been Esme. If her death was still so fresh and raw to you and someone said that to you and what was said could be implied in different ways, how would you take it? Or how would you feel knowing that no one backed you up and stood by you? That everyone played a hand in your pain?"

Jasper watched closely, monitoring Carlisle's emotions as he took in what Jasper had said and thought about it. He saw the pain flash in his eyes as Carlisle pictured his life without his mate, his wife. The anger that came at hearing Emmett's words, how it could be interrupted in many different ways. Finally, he saw and felt Carlisle realise the resentment at no one backing you and in turn, costing you everything.

"You could have backed me, Carlisle. I know you know just how deadly I can be, how my past was. It was my experience you should have listened to, yet you failed. Why, though? Why did you favour against me?" Jasper managed to keep his emotions out of his voice, somehow finding the strength to get through this.

Carlisle sighed and looked away from Jasper, allowing his regret to take hold of him. Jasper sucked in a breath as it rushed him, trying to centre himself and allow it to wash over him. "Alice was so sure, Jasper."

"I know she was, but that shouldn't have taken place over my experience, Carlisle." All Carlisle could do was nod his head in acceptance to what the blond haired vampire had said.

Jasper knew that Carlisle now regretted his decision, that he wished he could go back and change it, side with Jasper instead and overturn the vote. Again it didn't escape Jasper's notice that he hadn't apologised for his wrong doing

"I don't hate you, any of you, but I am resentful. That emotion won't shift for a long time, if it ever does," Jasper clarified, wanting them to know where they all stood with him now. "You were foolish, and refused to listen. I accept that if I wasn't here, you would have never had to face such decisions."

"No one wishes you weren't part of this family, Jasper," Carlisle offered softly to his son who was lost at this moment in time. "You have as much right to be here as everyone else."

"Thank you," Jasper whispered, his eyes finally falling from Carlisle's and looking back out into the grey skies of Forks. "I feel let down, betrayed that my battle experience was pushed aside in favour of a gift. You learnt a lesson that day Carlisle, just like I did. You learnt that you misplaced your trust and I learnt that experience means very little in this family when it comes to gifts."

Jasper pushed himself off the side of the counter, feeling Carlisle's acceptance at what he had said.

"Maybe you will learn from yours as I did mine."

"Son?" Jasper turned and looked at him. Ready to be done with this now, he raised an eyebrow in question.

Carlisle took a deep breath. "I'm sorry."

"For?" Jasper spat.

"Not listening to you." Jasper laughed darkly, looking at the man who claimed to be the father figure of the house _, his_ father figure. "I truly am."

"Fucking save it." Rage began to consume Jasper once more. "You think you can say sorry and all will be better?" Jasper seethed. "Kiss the boo-boo and everything is all good again? I don't think so."

"Son…"

"I'm not your son! You think you can play fucking God, destroy everything that was good in my life and I'll just accept your apology like it didn't matter?" Jasper spat, slamming his fist on the counter and cracking it. "Thanks for saying you ruined my fucking life."

xxxx

Williston, North Dakota, America.

3 years ago.

"It's not fair," Emmett grumbled as the family unloaded the moving van. "Me and Rose should get the cabin."

"Tough, I called it." Jasper grinned.

"You cheated," Emmett accused, causing Jasper to mock hurt.

It was true, he did cheat. Well, Jasper would class it as being smart. He had cornered Esme when the family had mentioned moving, to find out where they were going. Once the location was revealed to him, he had pleaded his case with her and won.

Jasper was guilty of using his mate's recent passing on Esme to get her to agree. He only had to deal with her mothering him for an hour before she cracked and agreed. Emmett had moaned and kicked up a storm, saying he wanted it for him and Rose, but Esme wouldn't move on the matter.

Truth was, he didn't want to live with them anymore but he didn't want to be completely on his own, either. The cabin was perfect for him. Far enough away that he wouldn't feel like he was living with them, but close enough that he would still feel part of the family. He had come a long way in the last two years, but he was still hurting, and hurting deeply.

It had been rocky for some time. Jasper had held so much resentfulness towards them all, that half the time he refused to talk to them and when he did, he just snapped at them. More than once he had thought about leaving the family, yet he knew that deep down he was happy with them. They were a tie to Alice, a connection to his past. And because of her, he felt loved in this life.

The family had been understanding, though Jasper was sure it was more down to Carlisle keeping order, than an unlimited understanding. Jasper knew that the head of the household had admitted fault within the family and had warned them of his grieving.

Slowly, bridges had been repaired as Jasper let go of resentment to an extent. To him, this move would be perfect for him and help him heal.

The love he felt within the mated couples in the house, just reminded him of what he had once felt for Alice; what he'd once felt from her. It crippled him at times, and it affected his mood. He couldn't really blame them for it, they were all happy and in love, holding their mates at night. Jasper was heartbroken and alone. It made him hate them at times, and become jealous.

He didn't want to have those feelings taking a deep root in him. It wasn't their fault, but he missed that comfort, he missed that sort of love. Jasper struggled to contain his feelings within him when the couples made love. Feeling their feelings and hearing them bore down on him and more than once had he found himself pissed off, and taking to Edward; both waiting for the house to become normal again.

In his new home, he wouldn't have to deal with that anymore, or the feelings he felt from them and himself.

"Leave him alone, Emmett," Esme warned, shooting him a stern look.

"Yeah, Emmett," Jasper smirked, feeling his brother becoming wound up by their adoptive mother's protection over him.

"Like he needs it!" Emmett whined. "He's only got his right hand now."

Emmett's comment caused a flash of hurt to cross Jasper, but he managed to brush it aside. Jasper could feel no bad feelings coming from his brother, only that he was only trying to gain favour with Esme.

Still, it reminded him that he didn't have his mate anymore.

"Don't be insensitive," Rose growled at her mate. "He lost Alice or have you forgotten?"

Jasper couldn't help but feel comforted by his sister. She had always been close to him, but since Alice's death, she had become frightfully protective of him. Jasper had confided in her more than once how he was feeling and how he was holding up. She knew his pain and how he felt worthless since Alice had died.

She was also the first and only to admit fault, outside of Carlisle.

"It's fine, Rose. Emmett didn't really mean anything by it."

"Don't care." She stared at her mate, with a shrug of her shoulders. "He shouldn't throw it in your face at all!" she growled once more at her mate and moved closer to Jasper. "Ignore him, Jazz. He'll only have his right hand if he carries on."

"You could just remove both his hands and ban him, that'll really upset him," Jasper whispered in her ear.

Giggling at her brother's comment, she replied, "That's mean, oh brother of mine. But I love your thinking."

Hearing their conversation, Emmett dropped the box he was currently holding, causing the medical books that belonged to Carlisle to fall out.

"Hey, don't give her ideas, Jazz."

"I'm sure she can do a lot worse." He chuckled walking off towards his new home.

Xxxxx

"Are you going to open it?" Rose asked, turning the pink envelope in her hands while sprawled out across Jasper's bed.

Rose had continued to come to see Jasper once a week to spend a few hours with him. Just as she had done in Forks. No one interrupted them during this time, it was their time.

At first, Rose would just sit with him, letting him be with his thoughts and feelings but letting him know she was there. Her presence was soothing to him. She didn't force a thing, unlike Esme, who would fuss around him, unable to just be there. Which in turn, pissed him off.

Rose was happy flicking through her endless supply of magazines or doing her nails, seemingly unfazed if Jasper spoke to her to not. Slowly, he had begun to talk to her, to open up to what was happening in his head, and before too long, Rose was also uploading onto him too, sharing their grief and pain.

"Dunno," he answered, eyeing it up. "It's like she knew, you know? Knew that she wouldn't make it and didn't bother to tell me." He sighed, his shoulders slumping.

"You know she didn't know for sure, Jazz," she replied. "And to be fair, if it had been me, I don't think I would have been able to tell Emmett. How do you tell the person you love more than life itself that you may not live? I couldn't do that. I wouldn't be able to say that and then expect them to fight."

"True, but if there was a ..." Rose cut him off.

"You would have gone into overdrive and shipped her off far, far away. By you doing that, the outcome could have been worse."

"How could it have been worse? Maria came for one reason, to damage us. She knows the less talent that surrounds this family, the better chance she has of taking me." His response was a selfish one. Jasper knew what Rose was implying without speaking it out loud.

"It's been two years, though. It's almost like she's forgotten." Rose bypassed his selfish comment, accepting that Jasper was more selfish now than he had ever been.

"Almost, but not quite." Jasper sighed knowing that Rose was on about Maria.

Jasper hadn't forgotten her, he never would. Even when his sire would become nothing but ash, he would never forget the woman who'd destroyed everything for him.

To him, the bitch could rot in hell for the rest of time. It wasn't enough that she had killed him, robbed him of his promising military career, robbed him of having a normal human existence. That wasn't good enough for her, no, she then had to destroy the happy life he had built with Alice. How was he ever meant to get over that?

He doubted he truly ever would.

Jasper plonked down next to his sister. "You think that inside here might contain the answer to that?" His eyes scanned the envelope that was held in his sister's hand.

"Who knows." Rose shrugged. "How about you open it and find out?" she pressed.

"I wanna, but..." Jasper trailed, losing his train of thought slightly.

How could he say this without sounding as though he no longer cared? Jasper would do anything to have Alice back. He missed her like crazy, but he wasn't sure he wanted to read that letter. Would it heal him? Make him feel a little better? It was doubtful.

Slowly, Jasper had managed to pull himself together again. He had patched up the remaining pieces of his shattered heart and soul, though he would never be the same again, he had done the best he could. Jasper wanted to live, to not just exist. He was trying hard, every day was a new battle and whatever was inside that envelope could shatter him once more.

"I'll open it," Rose snapped, ripping open the envelope and pulling out the single card. "Huh?"

"What's huh mean?" Jasper asked, a knotted mass of nerves sitting in the pit of his stomach, growing with each passing second.

He tried to get a reading from Rose, hoping that it may give him some indication of what that card contained, but he drew blank. Rose was admitting confusion as she looked at the card. Confusion didn't help Jasper, he had spent the last two years confused since Alice's death, and he certainly didn't need any more confusion in his life.

"Exactly that, Jasper. It doesn't make any sense. Here." Rose offered the card to Jasper, but he didn't take it.

Instead, he recoiled from it like it was something poisonous, and just stared. He wanted to read it, he desperately wanted that last little thing that was connected to his wife. Yet, he couldn't touch it. He willed his arms to move, to take hold of that piece of card, but they wouldn't.

What if it did say something he didn't want to hear? What if it only added to the confusion of his life without her? Sure, Rose was confused, but that didn't mean he would be. It could be something on there that only he would understand. Still, he just couldn't find the strength to take it.

"Fine, it says, _"Look for the major that Sparkles."_ Does it make sense to you? Because the only Major I know that sparkles is you," Rose said as she tossed the paper on the bed.

"Well, that's just fucking peachy," Jasper snapped. "What the hell does that mean?"

Rage began to creep up inside him as he battled once again to control himself. It seemed that since Alice had died, he now had such a hard time gaining control of his emotions. Though, he felt justified in his rage. The letter from his mate left him confused, frustrated and hurt.

Jasper wasn't sure what he had expected to hear when Rose read it, but he certainly wasn't expecting that. What had she seen to warrant such a message to him? Something that, in truth, made no sense to him. Why couldn't she have just left something else? A letter saying she loved him, anything that would soothe him, even if it was just for a short while.

"Jazz, chill." Rose stared at him, arching one of her perfect eyebrows in his direction. Jasper looked down, muttering a sorry. "Hey.." Rose placed her hand on his back, rubbing it in smooth circles. "I know, you know, but Alice wouldn't have left something for you just to confuse you. There must be a reason."

XXXX

Jasper lay on his front, his head turned to the side looking at the window as the sun began to come up. He hated this time of day, it always brought forth what he didn't have anymore.

If he really listened closely, he could just make out Rose and Emmett returning from their night of doing God knows what. He could hear her laugh as they messed around, taking their time to arrive back at the house.

Jasper missed that.

He missed those early morning hours where he and Alice would mess around with not a single care in the world. Those precious few hours of not having to think about anything else other than themselves. Those hours where he didn't feel the burden of living this life. Of pretending to be a student in high school, battling his natural urges to feed on the humans. Where he didn't have to hide. Where he could just be.

In the days since Rose opened the note, he had found himself searching. Searching for this major that sparkles, but had yet to find anything. Jasper had trailed his contacts, spoken to Carlisle and even gone as far as looking on the internet. Yet, he found nothing.

Jasper had become obsessed with it, determined that there must be something, something he was missing if he couldn't find. After all, why else would she leave that note?

A small wave of self-loathing began to flitter into Jasper's senses as he picked up his brother's undercurrent emotions. As his brother drew closer, Jasper could feel his brother's worry and slight unease.

Ever since that fateful day, worry had become one of Edward's biggest emotions. It was understandable, of course. Edward was worried that Maria would strike again, and this time they didn't have Alice to help them out. It didn't seem to matter how many times Jasper had told his brother his worry was pointless, it hadn't gone in.

Jasper knew that Edward was worrying over nothing. Maria wouldn't come here to attack again. No, she was waiting for Jasper to make a move in her overgrown game of chess.

This was all it was to her, a game now. Jasper knew she would wait, wait until he was ready to attack her, then she would move. She wanted him to go there, and she knew that one day he would. Jasper knew he would too. He knew that at some point in his life he would return to the south and face her. While he had no intention of rejoining her, he had every intention of killing her.

Maria would wait, she wasn't about to rush this, and neither was Jasper.

"Come in, Edward," Jasper called but made no attempt to move from his position on the bed.

Jasper listened as his brother moved through his cabin smoothly, almost undetectable before pushing the door to his bedroom open. Still, Jasper remained where he was, he didn't have it in him to move from his spot to look at his brother.

"I wondered if you were going to attend school now we've moved?" Edward asked moving a little deeper into the room.

Jasper closed his eyes and sighed. He hadn't attended any school or colleges in the last two years, he wasn't about to start now. "No," he all but whispered out. "You guys go, have fun, play human. Just leave me be."

The brothers fell silent with one another as Jasper slowly opened his eyes to the sun peeking through the trees. "You can mention her, Edward. I won't break," Jasper spoke, feeling the shift in his brother's emotions.

Jasper knew when Edward thought about her, he knew when they all did. He recognised their change in moods and felt the deep undercurrent of loss lurking underneath their main feelings. Edward's was always remorse. It never changed, whenever he thought of Alice the feeling that it brought was a deep-seated sense of regret.

"You were right." Edward paused for a moment. " I don't think I've ever said that to you."

"It doesn't matter now." He shrugged. "Besides, I doubt very much your head would have stayed on your shoulders if you had said that to me before. What's done is done."

"If we had…" Edward trailed slightly, as Jasper's eyes snapped to him, a slight narrowing of rage rolling in his golden eyes.

"That is something we will never know. We voted, I lost," Jasper stated. "I just lost the most."

"It won't happen again."

"There won't be a next time," Jasper stated, holding his brother's eye with a hard stare.

There wouldn't be. Maria had done the damage she wanted to achieve, the family had failed to listen to him. There would never be a next time, because if there ever was, Jasper would be gone. He wouldn't stand with them and wait when he knew better. It's what he should have done back then but didn't.

He didn't really hold them responsible for Alice's death. They were stupid and ignorant at the time, trusting so much in his wife's gift. Things might have been a lot different if they had listened to him, but then again maybe not.

Jasper had thought about the battle many times since it happened. He had replayed it over and over again, how the newborns seemed to make an effort to move towards him...towards where Alice had been. Jasper could recall how their red eyes seemed to be focused on Alice and not much else, and during his thoughts, he had come to one conclusion.

Maria had wanted to kill Alice.

"I worry, though." Edward voiced his concern again. "What if she comes back?"

"She won't. It's me she wants, not you or anyone else. She killed Alice to make sure I came to her," Jasper replied. "Stop worrying Edward. Just enjoy your life."

"Do you want to hunt later?" Edward asked as he moved towards the door. "You've not really checked out around here yet."

That was true, he hadn't. Jasper hadn't moved far from the house to feed and in truth, it was getting boring. Jasper knew he could do with finding something a little more satisfying than the elk or deer that currently cased this property.

"Sure, and you can tell your big brother how your first day at school went." Jasper smiled slightly, feeling the sparks of humour begin to grow.

"I'll make sure we let everyone know you're the family dropout," Edward chirped back, feeling his brother's slight playfulness.

"You do that." A smirk danced on Jasper's lips as he heard his brother leave his cabin.

* * *

 **AN:** _If you could be so kind as to review with your thoughts, that would be awesome, thank you!_

 _I'll be posting again in a weeks time._


	5. Chapter 5

**_AN:_** _Hi there! A massive thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter. I love how so many of you seem to love my little fic._

 _Of course, I have a great big thank you to Spudzmom/laura, for being amazing and working her magic on this for me. She's been a fab help to me since I started this fic, always letting me bounce idea's off her._

 _So, we are back to the present time line again. Yay!_

* * *

Forks, Washington state, America

Present day.

Jasper stood in the clearing, the same clearing he had been on that fateful day five years previous. It was the first time he had been back to the very battlefield that changed his life.

Before today, he hadn't been able to come, choosing to remember her somewhere else, anywhere else but here. This place held too many bad memories for Jasper, and before today, he had doubted he was strong enough to face it. He had worried that coming here before would've ripped apart all his hard work, and that was something he couldn't take a chance on.

Jasper knew he had to face this place, stand on the grounds that took her from him. He had to allow the memories of a time of old to wash over him and invade him. Jasper knew he had to feel those emotions he had pushed down that day in order to survive.

His eyes cast around the clearing, seeing how different it looked from the last time he saw it. Today, it looked as though nothing had ever taken place here. That no battle had transpired and no death had been present. As he took it in, his mind flashed images of the battle in his eyes.

The sounds of metal being ripped apart, the growls erupting from both sides. The smell of venom and smoke filling the air as vampire after vampire met their death.

Jasper's head snapped to the left, him seeing Alice standing there in the midst of battle. Her small form on the back of a much larger male vampire. Her arms wrapped around his neck before she twisted it off and he fell to the ground. They're eyes met, scanning each other quickly to see any damage. She smiled at him as he felt her love and returned it dearly.

Jasper's head snapped to the right, seeing the newborns moving quickly towards where he and Alice stood. He charged, not thinking of anything other Alice. He knew he could take these four with ease. He was confident in his ability as a fighter and these newborns weren't up to par. Jasper remembered himself smirking as he faced them, thinking to himself how much had changed and how Maria's training was clearly going to shit if this was the best she had to face him.

The third newborn fell to the ground and he took a second to glance quickly back at Alice. No one was around her, but she was frozen. He knew he had to act fast and rid this last newborn in front of him. Jasper cursed himself for moving so far away from her just as the last newborn went flying in pieces.

Her scream filled his ears. Blood curdling, that if he had been human his blood would have run cold. The scream stabs him painfully in the chest before silence fell.

Jasper winced at the memory, closing his eyes in a vain attempt to shut out the flashing images in his mind. Clenching his fists, he wished for nothing more than to go back in time and change the past. If he could…. Jasper's thought trailed off. No amount of wishing would change anything.

Hindsight was such a marvelous thing.

Slowly his eyes opened as he took in a deep breath and blew it out slowly, gaining back control over his emotions and allowing his mind to calm down. He continued to take deep, unneeded breaths until he felt at peace with himself, at peace with this place.

Jasper hadn't really realised just how much he needed to come here and relive the ghosts of his past. It helped solidify his repair job on his heart as he faced his painful past. In truth, he was letting her go so he could move forward.

A hand clasped on his shoulder, squeezing it and offering him comfort and reassurance that he was doing the right thing by coming back here. Jasper turned to Carlisle, a sad small smile on his lips as he looked at his father figure.

Jasper couldn't voice his emotions. He couldn't tell him that he was thankful for him coming with him, for allowing him the space he needed here without being on his own. Jasper wanted to tell him that he didn't blame him anymore. That he had accepted what had happened, but it would never happen again. But his words failed to come out.

They were there, lodged in his throat but seemingly unable to make the last leg of their trip.

The only person he had ever really spoken about this to was Edward. His brother's ability to read his mind made it a lot easier to talk about this. Jasper had skimmed over this with Carlisle, but it had been light and not in depth. Jasper feared that if he did voice it, it would come out as hatred and he didn't want that.

"You're welcome, son," Carlisle spoke softly, almost undetectable to anyone else but him as he felt Jasper's gratitude for coming with him.

They had left North Dakota yesterday, choosing to travel through the night back to Forks. They had arrived in the early hours of the morning, just before sunrise on the anniversary of Alice's death.

It had been a flippant remark that had led them back here. Rose had asked where he was choosing to spend this year's anniversary, and Emmett had joked saying Forks.

At first, he was shocked by it, almost feeling as though he had been slapped in the face. But as the minutes ticked by with Rose chewing her mate a new one, he realised that Emmett's idea wasn't such a bad one after all. He needed this closure. The past five years had been hard on him. Jasper had never felt utter dispair and pain like it before. There were days when he truly didn't think he could carry on, days when the darkness threatened to cover him completely. Days when he couldn't find the strength to move forward.

Yet somehow he found it. Somewhere deep inside of him his will to survive came forth again. The same will he had during his time in the south.

Jasper had gone to Carlisle and said he wanted to come back to Forks. Back to the place that for all intents and purposes, ruined his life.

Without any hesitation, Carlisle had said he would accompany Jasper back to the place that changed their family forever.

"It feels like it was so long ago, but on the other hand, it only feels like yesterday." Jasper shrugged, his eyes narrowing in on the spot that Alice died.

A hundred years could pass and he would still know just where she took her last breath.

"Time means very little to us, and five years, when faced with all eternity, is like a minute to the rest of the world," Carlisle spoke, his eyes following Jasper's. "You've done her proud, son."

Jasper could only nod his head in response. He didn't really feel as though he had. Sure, he had stuck to the diet and hadn't slipped, but other than that, he had done very little. Jasper knew he needed to do something to fill his time. He couldn't go back to school with the rest of the family. It held no appeal to him, not that it did before Alice anyway.

But she was always there. That constant support, reassuring him that he wasn't about to make someone his next meal.

"Anything turned up on what she said in the note?" Carlisle asked.

"Nothing. I've almost given up on it." Jasper sighed out loud, feeling the frustration of not being able to locate what she had meant in her letter rise up. "I just wish she left more than that. Then again, her visions were subject to change. I may never know what she meant."

"I believe you will."

Xxxxx

Williston, North Dakota, America.

Present day.

"You're back!" Emmett boomed coming in through the back door.

Jasper smirked and shook his head. He had been back for over a day now but hadn't seen Emmett since his return. He couldn't help but feel happy to see his brother after leaving Forks. Emmett's emotions were always so happy and bright. He just accepted everything as it was.

"I've been back over a day, Em, but it's nice to know you missed me while I was away." Rose caught his eye, a slight dose of concern and apprehension touched his senses, asking slightly if he was okay.

Jasper was thankful that she didn't outright ask. He was trying to move forward with his life, and enjoy it. While he knew they meant well when they asked him, he, at times, wanted to shout that he wasn't about to break if they didn't ask him how he was after her anniversaries. Esme was the worst for it and had made a beeline for him the moment Carlisle's car had pulled up outside the house.

"How was Forks? Get your dick wet while you were there?" Emmett grinned while waggling his eyebrows at his brother. "Ouch, what the fuck, Rose?"

"I hardly doubt he got anything wet while he was visiting a place where he lost Alice," Rose growled out, pinning her mate with a vicious stare that was worthy of turning anyone scared. "You are fucking stupid at times!"

Emmett held his hands up in surrender, a remorseful look gracing his face. "I meant no offence, Jazz knows that." Emmett shot his brother a look, pleading for help as his mate growled beside him.

Jasper thought about letting him suffer his mate's wrath. He knew Emmett meant no harm and was more than anything trying to lighten the trip with humour. Unfortunately, his humour fell short and only made Jasper feel uncomfortable.

As it did every time Emmett mentioned him getting laid. Jasper didn't really want pointless lays that held very little or no meaning at all. He longed for that deeper connection between two people, that connection that he'd once had. It was almost impossible for him to have that again, not unless Alice came back from the dead.

It was an unwritten fact that you only got one mate. And if you were lucky enough to find them, there was never any going back from that point. Every vampire he had ever met that had lost their mate eventually killed themselves over the loss. The only one he knew to be still alive was Marcus Volturi.

He didn't want to be another Marcus in this world; spending his days longing for someone who would never return, wishing for death to come and finding it just out of reach. No, Jasper wanted to live, his will to survive, everything he had overcome to get to this point...he wasn't about to throw that away.

But when change doesn't happen often for a vampire, how was he meant to live his life and not become another Marcus?

He had to change.

Maybe if he did, finding someone else wouldn't be almost impossible, but a possibility instead.

Alice had believed that the notion of one mate was far fetched, and the only reason people believed that was because of the fact that vampires didn't change often. Once they met someone and they clicked, that was it for them as they didn't unclick. Alice had believed that if they can change once, they could change again and break the mould of just one mate. The trouble was that a mated vampire that had lost their mate, tended not to hang around to find out. Choosing instead to be swallowed into the darkness of grief.

Deciding to help his brother out, he smirked. "No, but I hear Jessica was still very much interested in you."

Emmett grinned, sending Jasper his thanks for bailing him out. "What can I say. I'm hot stuff!" Jasper rolled his eyes at his brother, while Rose just glared at her mate. "What? I can't help it if I'm just so irresistible," he said while running his hands up and down his chest.

"I'll leave you to your self-lovin', Em." Jasper smirked as he walked past them both and towards the back patio.

"Jazz, you got a minute?" Rose asked, shooting a glare at her mate, letting him know she would have words with him later.

"Sure." Jasper nodded his head towards the direction of his cabin.

Walking slowly back towards his home, he pushed out his sense, touching Rose's to gain a read off her. A deep current of concern sat at the bottom of her emotions, swirling and warring with her own self-hatred that always sat there. Rose hated what she was, hated how her life had ended and then became what she was. She felt robbed of her life, her human life, betrayed by someone who she thought loved her.

Jasper knew that Rose was convinced she was ugly inside. Rotting deeply within, turning everything black and dead. Her outer beauty was just a disguise, hiding what she really was. So much pain ran inside her, she blamed herself for what had happened, how she clearly wasn't good enough and must have been ugly for this to happen to her. Jasper had spoken to her in depth regarding her feelings, trying to help his sister understand that she was never the problem, the man who had done this to her was.

He knew that while she loved Emmett to death, she would trade it all for a chance at a normal human life. The chance to have children, to watch them grow, to get old and die as nature intended.

Rose acted the way she did to protect herself from any more pain.

"You okay?" Rose asked as the low sun hit their skin, causing them to sparkle.

Jasper thought about his answer. He always did with Rose. To everyone else, he gave an "I'm fine" answer, even if he really wasn't, but with Rose, he knew she would see through his lie.

"Surprisingly, yes." He half smiled as Rose raised an eyebrow at him, studying him. "Honestly, I am. It was hard, being back there. But, I'm glad I went. In a way, I let her go."

Rose pondered her response. Jasper could feel her working through her emotions, thinking of what he must have gone through, what she would have gone through if it was her. He felt her understanding gaining steam as she resolved the fact that he was telling the truth. Jasper knew that Rose had never really let go of her past, and because of it, it damaged her to this day, but she wanted Jasper to let go. She didn't want her brother to suffer more than he had to as she had done.

"Good." Rose bumped his shoulder.

"Don't be hard on, Em, Rose," Jasper spoke, earning a glare from her. "You know he can be dumb at times," he joked.

"I wonder how I ended up with him sometimes," Rose remarked as Jasper chuckled at her comment. He knew she didn't mean anything by it. He could feel her love for her mate, despite how irritated she currently was with him. "He's insensitive, Jasper. I don't know how many times I've had to tell him about this."

"He uses humour to lighten things, Rose. It's not that he's insensitive because he does care. He just struggles with heavy emotions or awkward situations." Rose turned her head up and away from Jasper.

"You seem so cool over it all," she murmured almost to herself. "You've changed, Jazz."

Jasper didn't say anything for some time, instead, thinking about what she had said and she was right, he had changed. In some ways, he had no choice but to change in order to move forward with his life. Then, on the other hand, it seemed as though him changing was so natural.

"It's Emmett," Jasper shrugged. "I wouldn't say I'm cool with it, but I've dealt with it and in turn, I've moved forward. Moving here helped."

"You mean being away from the family has helped?" Rose questioned, looking at her brother.

Jasper smiled and nodded his head, Rose was right. It had helped, but then again, she already knew that.

"So, what you up to?" Rose asked as they walked through the cabin doors.

"Looking," was his only reply.

Rose caught his eye as he moved into another room, only to return a few moments later with his laptop in hand. Jasper shook his head, knowing that her look was one of wonder. Wondering if he was still looking for what Alice had left on that note. He could and would admit that he did look, but he was still coming up blank, even after all this time.

So many nights he had grown frustrated with himself, with Alice for her cryptic note. Jasper had searched a multitude of possibilities, and every time he found nothing. It didn't help that he had zero idea what he was looking for to begin with. Maybe if he had some idea, it would be easier to locate. Still, Jasper had assumed that he would have found what Alice had been going on about. It had been three years since that note. Surely by now it would have turned up? How far into the future did Alice see?

Many times he had told Alice not to search for anything regarding his future. He didn't wish to know unless it involved trouble or him slipping. He wasn't interested, and for the most part of their life together, she hadn't looked.

Was seeing her death, or the possibility of her death enough to go against Jasper's wishes and look into his future?"

"I'm seeing if any books have popped up," Jasper responded as his laptop kicked into life.

"Another one?" Rose commented with a shake of her head. "Don't you have enough? Besides, you only bitch about them afterwards."

"I don't bitch."

"You do!" Her voice rose slightly, amused that her brother would dare to even deny that he bitched. "You go on about how it's wrong, or this bit didn't happen that way or God forbid, they painted your boys as thicko's."

"Thicko's? Rich, Rose, real rich," Jasper said dryly. "I was there, Rose."

"Yeah, yeah, and you lost." She waved her hand as he moved to look over his shoulder. "Would you prefer inbred hicks? Or simpletons who share one gene pool?" she offered, resting her chin on his shoulder as he brought up google.

"None of the above." His fingers glided effortlessly over the keys, typing in names of some of his more preferred historians. "Is there a reason you have your head on my shoulder?" Jasper turned his head slightly away from the screen, looking more at Rose as he changed his google search.

"Nope." Rose grinned, "Oh, what's that?"

"What?" Jasper felt slightly alarmed as Rose suddenly moved and her emotions went haywire.

"Scroll back down. I saw something."

Doing as she said, he scrolled down to almost the last link on the page. Everything seemed to freeze around him. For those few seconds, he heard nothing, he felt nothing. Jasper just stared at the screen, almost convinced his eyes were playing tricks on him. It felt like a lifetime, those few seconds that seemed to move so slowly before everything rebooted itself and kicked back in. His emotions mirrored Rose's and in turn, they slammed into him hard.

Jasper sucked in a deep breath, not fully believing what he was seeing. He couldn't really be seeing it, could he?

There on the screen, just under the link was, member name _Sparkling Major_ and civil war. Was this what Alice meant? What she had seen?

"Click the link, Jasper." Shock coated her words as they left her lips in the tiniest of whispers.

They both stared at the link, seeing bits of what the link contained. A _Sparkling Major_ , civil war and Robin Hood stared back at them. The last two bits, Jasper paid no attention too, but the sparkling major bit had caught his attention, just like it had caught Rose's too.

Clicking the link, Jasper couldn't help but allow his eyes to fall closed as he tried to ready himself for what he might see. His vampire mind began working overtime, trying to work out if this was it. If his time of searching for the major that sparkles was over. As the page loaded, Jasper wondered if this would be anti-climatic or not. Years he had spent looking, and he had somehow built it up. What if the reality of this didn't match up the fantasy?

Then again, he didn't really know what he had conjured this up to be. In all the times he had spent thinking, he hadn't thought about what it would be when he found it. Jasper had assumed, though he now thought wrongly, that whatever it was would be big. Maybe not to anyone else in the family, but most certainly to him.

Breathing deeply, Jasper read the page and then read it again and again.

 **Sparkling Major, Asks:**

' _Silly Brit girl on final year of American history degree. Calling all American's with a wonderful knowledge of their history, more so civil war, to help this poor Brit gal out. I'll trade wonderful info on Robin Hood if it helps."_

The first feeling he got was disappointment that this was it. A cry for help from some British girl who needed help in her degree. This is what he had been waiting for? Looking for? Longing for? This is what his wife and mate had seen? Some stupid internet helping site? Jasper had never bothered with these sites before, why would he start now? Why did his mate point him in this direction? What was he meant to do with this now?

Anger soon started to creep in as he realised he had spent all this time looking for what his mate had meant, only to stumble across something that meant nothing to him.

It crushed him and began to reopen old wounds that he had spent so long stitching back together. He had pinned too much on this, he realised that now, but now it was too late. Jasper had hoped that whatever it was going to be, would be something for him, but this wasn't. This was Alice wanting him to do a good deed in the world, and help out some girl who lived on the other side of the world.

Standing sharply, Jasper growled and began to pace the room.

"Jazz… Maybe it's not."

"You damn well know as well as I do, that this is what Alice was on about." Jasper seethed. "I'm not doing it!" Jasper folded his arms over his chest, glaring at the laptop screen that now resided in the space he sat moments ago.

"Alice must have seen something."

"Like what?" Jasper spat, his teeth almost grinding together in the vain hope to keep his emotions in check. "Interact?"

"Possibly," Rose answered. "Alice could well have seen you no longer attending school with the rest of us and wanted you to slowly move back into coming with us again by helping her out." Rose eyed her brother carefully, seeing the dispair beginning to creep back into his features once more. "Jazz, it could be anything."

"Why this, though?" He whispered, no longer able to keep his emotions in check. "I just thought that maybe...maybe this would be something for me. A last gift or something."

"I know," she offered her hand out to him, but Jasper shook his head. He didn't want to take her hand, he didn't want comfort right now while he tried to deal with what he had thought, what he had seen, and what he was going to do about it.

Xxxx

Just over a week had passed since he had first found the major that sparkled, or Sparkling Major as he now knew that was what Alice was driving at. In that time, he had opened the page more times than he cared to admit, and read over the message, hoping to find something hidden in it. Something that Alice must have seen to make her steer him in this direction, but again, he found nothing.

It was becoming a running trend now with him and her cryptic clue. Jasper looked and looked, and just like before, he found nothing.

A stray thought crossed his mind that maybe this was a stepping stone to something else, to what Alice had wanted him to actually see. Though he was now starting to doubt that idea completely, it still hung around in the back of his mind, taking root there and growing with each passing day.

Jasper would be lying if he said he wasn't at least just a little intrigued by this because he was. Very much so indeed.

He had tried to push it away, ignore it and forget about what he had seen, but he just couldn't. Whether it was because it was Alice that had steered him there, or because he felt like he should reply back, the thought wouldn't budge.

Did he want to message her back? He was almost positive he didn't.

Did he want to find out why Alice had done this? Jasper was completely sure that was a yes. The only trouble was, doing that meant he had to contact her and that was something he didn't really want to do. He hadn't played human for five years now. Of course, it wasn't like he would ever forget how to blend in with the human population, but still, he had grown used to just being himself. If he messaged her back, he would have to pretend to be human once more, but he wasn't sure he could actually do that again.

Then again, Jasper knew it would be easier over the internet. He would just have to make sure he didn't make it sound as though he had lived in that time.

 _Fuck you, Alice._ The thought made him smile, as he could almost see Alice having a field day over his panicked form and displeased nature, not really wanting to do this.

Jasper had written countless replies on the stupid site, but had deleted every single one of them, before finally settling on something short and sweet. Hitting send, he laid back against the headboard, wondering if he had done the right thing or not.

 _No going back now._

* * *

 ** _AN:_** _Soo... He's found the Major that Sparkles. If you would be so kind and drop a review, that would be awesome. Thanks._


	6. Chapter 6

**AN:** _Hi there! Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter. Brings a lovely smile to my face reading them, so thank you!_

 _Again, a big shout out to Spudzmom for not only working her magic on this, but for also letting me bounce ideas off her. She's a super star!_

 _So, we time jumped once more and found ourselves back in the present time. No more time jumping, honestly!_

 _Hope you guys enjoy this chapter, see you at the bottom!_

* * *

Nottingham, England

Present day

November.

"I could kiss you!" Bella announced as she walked into the shared living room.

Emma looked up from the TV, eying Bella cautiously as she grinned madly at her and sat down next to her. "You're hot and all, but I don't swing that way." Emma smirked as Bella hit her arm.

"No that site you put me on the other week, it's amazing."

"You found someone willing to help you?"

Bella nodded as she powered up her laptop.

"That's great."

"He knows so much stuff." Bella's laptop finally powered up after what seemed like forever. It was old and full of so much stuff that you almost had to send it an email to forewarn it that you were about to power it up. Bella knew she needed a new one, but her student budget just wasn't stretching that far at the moment.

"I'm thinking of asking him if he will read over what I've already written for my dissertation. But…" Bella trailed off fearing she would be rude if she did that.

This 'long time dead' seemed to know everything she needed to know. Bella had asked a few questions to him, trying to figure out if he knew his stuff or not. Every answer he had given had been in so much depth, that she couldn't actually believe that someone understood the subject so well. So far she had only exchanged three questions with him, and to her, it didn't seem enough that she could ask him to read it for her.

She knew she couldn't do it over the site, she would have to attach the file via email.

Bella didn't even know this man's name. His bio on the site had said he lived in America but that was about it. For all she knew, she could be speaking to someone who was almost fifty.

"Then ask him." Emma shrugged. "He can say one of two things; Yes or no. What's the problem?"

"I don't even know his name, how shall I start that convo off? Hm? Say to him 'I don't know your name or anything but can I have your email address and could you read over what I've written so far?'"

"What's wrong with that? Just ask him what his name is. Unless you wanna keep to member names, Sparkles." Bella glared at her friend for once again using that stupid nickname.

"He could be fifty or older! He knows I'm at uni, so he figured out my age if he hasn't looked at my bio." Emma laughed at Bella. "It's not funny. He could be a perv, we don't know this."

"And he could be twenty years old. Does it matter of he is almost dead? You want his knowledge, besides, even if he is a perv you're pretty good all the way over here. You don't have to have chats with him, Bella."

"I know, but if I'm asking for his email address, I should at least do the pleasantries you know?" Emma rolled her eyes and went back to watching her film as Bella logged back into the site.

Again, just like the last two times she had logged in after asking Long Time Dead a question, she saw the little envelope next to her messages. And just like normal, when she opened, she was faced with another in-depth answer. Bella knew deep down that this man wasn't her age, there's no way he could possibly and know all this information. Unless he had access to magical books that gave you all the answers she needed to know. If he had one of them, she wanted to know where he got it from.

 _Wonder if he got it from Amazon?_ Bella giggled at that thought.

 **To Long Time Dead.**

 **From Sparkling Major**.

 _Yet again you've blown me away with another in-depth answer. Just how do you know all this stuff? Some magical book? Or have you spent your whole life learning about the civil war? Lol. Anyways, I know this is a little awkward, but would you read over what I have so far for my dissertation?_

 _Don't need you to do anything to it, just check it over, and stuff._

 _I understand if you don't want to, I know some people can feel a bit uneasy giving out their email addresses, but it would be so much easier for me to send the file instead of copy and pasting it._

 _I would be so grateful if you would. Sometimes I feel like I'm losing the thread on it, I guess when it's not your history, you begin to worry if you're doing it justice or not._

 _So, would you? Pretty please?_

 _Oh, my name's Bella by the way,_

Hitting send, she looked up to see Emma staring open mouthed at her. Bella couldn't really understand why her friend was looking at her like that.

Had she read what 'long time dead' had responded with? Was that the reason why she had her mouth open like this, catching flies? Maybe she had read or seen what Bella had replied with and was shocked that Bella had gone into almost overdrive, rambling away at this person?

"Fucking hell, Bella. You really waffled on about sod-all then. You only asked for an email address, not a marriage proposal." Emma shook her head. "You know, most people have more than one email so it's not that personal."

"Shut up, I'm not as forward as you are."

Emma snickered at Bella's remark. "Only when it comes to Craig. Saw him creeping out your room this morning." Emma smirked. "Thought you were staying clear of him, this year?"

Bella had meant to stay away from him, she had sworn to herself that she and Craig weren't going to happen again. That she wouldn't have a repeat performance of last year. Yet, as the shots of alcohol kicked in, she had thrown caution to the wind and thought fuck it. Her night had ended with her shagging Craig until some stupid time.

He was, without a doubt, good in bed. It was probably why she always ended up in with him. She was never really left dissatisfied from the act.

Still, it didn't matter how good he was in bed, he was a bad idea. The reason her last exams had kicked her arse so much. Bella knew she needed to be strong and not fall into the trap of Craig plus alcohol equals a great time for Bella. She had to stay clear of him, and the stupid alcohol that she consumed.

 _Why must they sell it so cheap?_ She thought to herself, still trying to shift the aftereffects of last night.

"Don't….I'm gonna be good," Bella swore, crossing her heart in the process that made Emma laugh. "I mean it."

"Of course you do," Emma said dryly, as she looked at Bella. "So hopefully Mr. 'long time dead' will help you sail through this dissertation."

"I don't want him to help me sail through it. I just want to know I'm heading in the right direction and to give me a few answers when I can't seem to find them." Bella pulled her eyebrows together, unimpressed by Emma's comment.

That was what she didn't want to do. While she wanted this person's help, she didn't want it to come across as them doing it for her. She wanted to get her credit on her own, by doing her own research. It wasn't her fault that the books she was finding weren't up to par and Google was starting to confuse the hell out of her. Neither was it her fault that 'long time dead' seemed to be the best walking encyclopaedia out there, and she happened to find him.

Bella worried that by her asking him to read it, that he might have thought she was implying for him to change and rewrite it. That's what she didn't want, if she had a glaring hole in her work, then she wanted it pointed out so she could fix it.

"I'm gonna get some more work done," Bella replied, standing up and taking her laptop with her.

As Bella climbed the stairs back to her room, her heart thumped in her chest as she saw the little envelope pop up on the site.

Almost racing back to her room, she quickly closed the door and took her spot at her desk. Letting out a deep breath she clicked on the envelope, hoping that it wasn't 'long time dead' saying no or worse.

 **To sparkling Major**

 **From Long Time Dead.**

 _*Haha, no, no magical book. I guess you could say I have spent my life learning about it. Like you, I happened to study the subject. Guess it's easier for me, coming from the south, you tend to hear family stories._

 _But sure, I'll read over what you've already got and give you my thoughts on it._

 _Address is at the bottom._

 _It's nice to meet you, Bella, I'm Jasper._

"Jasper," Bella mused out loud.

Bella pondered that name. She had heard the name recently, but she couldn't place where she had heard it, or who from. It was an old name, not many people had it, and anyone she had heard of the name Jasper was over forty, easily.

 **To: Jasper**

 **From: Bella**

 **Sub** **ject: Thank you!**

 _Hi Jasper,_

 _Hope you don't mind me sending this right away, but I was already on my laptop when I got your message. I'm trying, and failing, to write this. The words just won't flow right. I think I've managed to get myself into a bind with it, panicking that I'm so out of my depth!_

 _It's my final year and I really, REALLY want that first._

 _You said you're from the south, where about's? Am I right in assuming you don't live in the south now? Where about's in the states do you live? (God, that just made me sound like I'm a stalker or something. I'm not, honestly.)_

 _I live in Nottingham, but I guess you already figured that out with my offer for trading info about Robin Hood. I'm not just at uni here, I come from the city itself. Notts gal, born and bred :D_

 _Have you ever been to England?_

 _I'm gonna stop with the questions for fear I might come across as crazy!_

 _I've rambled, sorry!_

 _Thanks again,_

 _Bella._

As Bella hit send, she began to bite her nails almost nervously. Worry started to slowly seep into her as she reread her email to Jasper.

She didn't know this man and he didn't know her, yet she had waffled on like some crazed looney. Asking a load of questions that had nothing to do with the subject at hand. Bella knew she should've just kept it simple, none of these questions being fired at him. Though, Bella worried that if she was to do that, then she might come across as rude, something she didn't want to do.

She had overdone it, she knew that. She had panicked a little, almost excited about being able to send it to him, that it had gotten the better of her, and she had rambled away.

Sighing deeply, she sat back and stared at her email inbox. What was she waiting for? A response right away? Bella wasn't really giving him a chance to read what she had written. That, and she also didn't know what time zone he was in. Bella knew that the states, thanks to its size, ran different time zones. It could be middle of the night there for all she knew.

Shock hit her as an email suddenly popped back up from Jasper. Surely he couldn't have read it already? That wasn't possible, she had only sent it less than five minutes ago, and it was sitting at six thousand words. Bella knew she could read fast, but not that fast.

 **To: Bella**

 **From: Jasper**

 **Subject: R.E: Thank you!**

 _Hi Bella._

 _I'll read it for you soon, and let you know how it's going._

 _Yes, you assumed correctly. I'm currently living in North Dakota, though I'm from the wonderful state of Texas. The family tends to move around a lot, but I think we'll be here for a few more years at least. Would love to go back home, but it's doubtful I'll ever lay roots back home again._

 _Still, you can dream, right?_

 _You don't sound like a stalker, it's not like you've asked anything personal. And even if you did, I have the choice to answer it or not. Guess, you're just trying to have some form of friendship with this, and not just make it about you picking my brains for information? That's cool, though, I honestly don't mind. Makes my life a little more interesting._

 _I've been to England once. Your country is so steeped in history. So much has transpired in such a tiny country, and so many of the castles still stand to this day. I think I spent about a month there, give or take a week or two. Would have loved to stay longer and see more of the sites. I never got the pleasure of going to see the major oak tree, which was a bit of shame, as I hear it's a real hoot._

 _You ever been over the pond?_

 _Jasper._

If Bella was worried about coming across as crazy, Jasper had soon dashed those thoughts. Now, though, she was faced with a dilemma. Did she reply right away or give it a few hours, maybe a day or so? She had already told him she was working on her dissertation, so if she replied now it wouldn't look odd. Still, Bella couldn't help but worry that maybe it would seem as though she was sitting and waiting for a reply. Which she wasn't, not now anyway.

Deciding that it didn't actually matter, she clicked on reply.

 **To Jasper**

 **From Bella**

 **Subject: R.E. Thank you!**

 _You missed the oak tree? Shame on you! It's so amazing, with its great big hole in the middle, surrounded by a metal fence so you can't touch it, and its supporting bars. How could you come over to England and not go see that? Thought everyone wanted to go see something that caked in crapness!_

 _Am I selling it? You know, if I fail completely at this degree, I could always get a job advertising trips there, couldn't I?_

 _Yes! A lot of the castles still stand, or just about anyways. Nottingham castle still stands, though it was rebuilt after a fire. It's an art museum now, where anyone can go look around. The gardens there are really beautiful in summer and they have caves underneath that you can go through. In fact, there's a lot of caves in Nottingham, one of the shopping centres has them underneath it. Which is crazy when you think about. People are shopping above while you're walking around in the caves beneath them._

 _Texas? Really? Wow. It sounds like you miss home. If you miss it so much, why don't you move back there? Or is it just not feasible? You said your family moves around every few years. Is that work related or you just get bored?_

 _You mentioned family stories, was some ancestor in the civil war? Is that how you know so much? Stories being passed down?_

 _Nope, never been. I'm hoping to, once I get done with uni. That, and if I have the cash to afford the flights._

 _Thanks again,_

 _Bella._

Bella hit send, slightly disturbed that she had shared so much in only her second email to Jasper. She was acting like they were gaining a friendship, and maybe they were. It certainly seemed to feel that way to her and he hadn't really been opposed to the idea of it either.

A thought ran through her mind, growing rapidly as she tried to write more to her dissertation. She had asked him if he had an ancestor who had been in the war. What if he did? Would he offer the information on who it was? What if he had died in that war and never came home, could he possibly be mentioned in her overgrown textbook?

"That's it!" Bella cried, scrambling to her book bag to pull it out.

Quickly, she flicked through the pages, trying to locate the list of names who had died or gone missing in action. On her fourth attempt at flicking through the book, she finally struck the page she was searching for just as her laptop pinged and flashed up another email from Jasper in the bottom right-hand corner.

Discarding the book, she clicked on the link that brought her to her emails.

 **To: Bella**

 **From: Jasper**

 **Subject: R.E: Thank you!**

 _You know, you've got a talent there. I'm almost willing to book a ticket now just to see this oak tree you speak of. And how could I not? You've really sold the whole aspect of "tree, big hole in the middle with metal bars," if all else fails in life you most certainly have that. ;)_

 _Yes, Texas, born and bred. It's not work commitments or anything, just the adoptive parents like to move every few years._

 _One of my great great (great? Not sure) uncles was in the civil war. So yes, stories got passed down the family line. A lot of my family and friends had someone who served in the war somewhere in their history. It's a bit like how you must have had someone in your family serve in one, if not both, world wars. They only gave a choice for so long before you were drafted up. If you were fit enough, you went. My family happened to tell the story. Big military family, so it was always going to be told._

 _See? So steeped in history and I reckon you think it's the most boring place on earth, am I right? If I ever travel across the pond again, I'll make sure to check out the caves and the tree with the hole._

 _Ah, yes, the price of flying goes up and down all the time. Depending on what time of year you go and where you're flying too, you might get a good deal. Any idea where you'd like to go if you do make it across here?_

 _So what made you pick American history, or more to it, civil war? Not that I mind helping you out, but surely you have enough history your side of the pond you could do your degree in? After all, America is just a baby compared to England's history._

 _By the way, I've read some of your dissertation and it's good. For someone who is saying they're getting confused, you're making a sound and solid paper._

 _Jasper._

 **To Jasper**

 **From: Bella**

 **Subject: R.E: Thank you!**

 _I could have done my degree in anything other than American history, that's for sure. Always loved history, got an early love for it when I was at secondary school. Loved it so much I took GCSE history. Little did I know that I would spend the next two years learning about world war 2. Which, just didn't hold any appeal. I think because it's still fairly recent history that I didn't enjoy it. So, when I went to college, I began studying older history, going back a couple of hundred years. It was at college that we did a short stint in American history. After all, yours and ours are tied together, as England wanted to rule the world. Anyways, our tutor did a lesson on American civil war and it just kinda grew from there._

 _When uni came up, I discovered one of the best uni's to go to study American history was right in my hometown. From early on, we had to pick what we were going to do our dissertation in, most on the course have picked civil war. So finding those magical books are a rare find. But now I have found myself a walking encyclopaedia of civil war, so I'm all set. :D_

 _Would love to travel to the places I'm learning about. You know, key places where things happened. Plus I would love to go to Texas! Would save me a packet not having to pay import fees on shipping a pair of boots here. They sting you! They charge you a price, then DHL calls you once it's hit here and tells you that you now have to pay X to get it through customs. Robbing bastard!_

 _Wouldn't mind it so much, but when I've just spent two hundred pounds, including shipping fees, I don't want to have to pay another fifty plus to get them on my feet. I'm on a student budget lol._

 _Adoptive parents? How old are you? Sorry, but I just assumed you're old, married, kids, possibly grandkids… ah shit, you're not fourteen, are you? But then again, you can't be that young, you know too much unless you've got a magic book._

 _You had a great, great, (great?) Uncle who served. In the civil war? Awesome. What sorta stories did you get told as a child then? That's very true, my grandad was a desert rat during the second world war, on my mum's side. Not sure on my dad's side, never really asked. Strange isn't it how some things you just never find out. I'll have to ask my dad when I go home._

 _Really? Am I making sense? Thank you, makes me feel better knowing I'm not fluffing it up!_

 _Bella_

As Bella hit send, she hoped that she hadn't offended him by saying she thought he was old. He certainly came across to her that he wasn't a child and the fact that he knew so much information about the civil war just led her to believe that he couldn't possibly be as old as she was.

 _He might have some form of autism?_

It was feasible. A lad a few years younger than Bella, who lived on the same street as her, had autism and was mad about trains. He just soaked up the information like a sponge, and at times had left Bella completely bewildered that someone so young could know so much about trains.

Bella was positive that he knew all there was to know about trains. She had listened to him intently when he told her stories of how this came about, or that happened. His mum had once told Bella that autistics tend to latch onto one subject and obsess over it. Was this what had happened with Jasper?

Did he just latch on to the subject and then just obsess about it until he knew everything? Then again, if this was the case, he could very well be fourteen. She knew from experience that her neighbour had obsessed over trains at a very early age and by the age of fourteen was a whizz of train knowledge.

Secretly, she hoped that he wasn't fourteen. In the few emails they had exchanged, Bella enjoyed talking to him and knew she wouldn't continue to do so if he was fourteen.

Autism she could cope with, him being fourteen? Not so much.

Bella cracked on with her work, becoming lost in the past of a world that seemed so strange and alien to her. Her modern day views were so different to the world she was learning about. As she had begun to dig around and find sites that had old love letters from the war, she discovered that age and marriage were just so different back then.

So far, Bella had discovered that every one of the soldiers that were married or courting, was doing it with someone who was so much younger than them. She had read about one young couple, who had married just before the war had started. The young woman had been fifteen and he had been twenty-four. The whole notion of that happening now was just unthinkable.

Bella could remember what she was like at that age, and marriage was something she didn't want at that age, and even now at twenty-two, she still didn't want it. Were these young girls happy to do it at that age? To be a mother before they turned sixteen? The whole idea of having children at such a young age scared Bella. The idea of having one now also scared her.

She knew she was nowhere near ready for such a life-changing event as having children.

Though, it all made sense back in that time. Life expectancy was so much shorter than what it is now. So much disease was unbeatable back then. Modern medicine hadn't found cures for them yet, and it only made sense to start a family so young. But still…

Bella's modern mindset was having a hard time understanding it all.

 **To:Bella**

 **From: Jasper**

 **Subject: R.E: Thank you!**

 _Hahaha so, you either think I'm about dead or I'm a spotty, hormonal charge teen? Thanks, Bella, I don't know if I should be insulted that you think I'm one of those things, or flattered._

 _I'm neither of those things, I'm twenty-one and as you said you're on to your final year at uni, I'm guessing you're twenty-two? Maybe twenty-three? You could be in your fifties and decided that you want to do a degree. It happens._

 _Anyways…_

 _Boots? As in cowboy boots? You've got incredible taste if that's what you mean. I'll even forget that you think I'm old or a teen. ;)_

 _How many pairs you got? It's a kicker to have to pay for it to go through customs after paying to ship. Don't they sell any across the pond? Surely there must be a shop that imports them. Or is it the real deal you want?_

 _Do you live in them? Super comfy aren't they. I do think some people don't get how comfy these things are. I'd sooner have my boots than a pair of sneakers any day._

 _A few stories got told about his time in the war, I'll share them with you one day. Did you ever speak to your grandad about being a desert rat? I would have thought that fighting in world war two would have been more frightening than the civil war back 1863. So much changed between the first world war to the second world war. Not saying that facing war at any time isn't a scary thing because it's going to be, but if you think about it, guns have changed. They fired so much quicker in your grandad's time then my great great (great? I should really check that out) uncles time. Tanks weren't used in his time. Horses pulling cannons, yes, great big tanks firing shells? Nope._

 _Don't know if he's still alive or not, but you should talk to him about it. Bet you would find that point in history more enjoyable now you're older and no longer a teeny bop._

 _I've read over it and it's good. There's no massive holes if that's what you're worried about. There are bits, that depending on who you speak to, will argue that fact with you. That all comes down to what you believe. None of these people who write these books, or study it and get into debates, know what anyone of them was thinking. The only thing I would add is all the points that made people fight._

 _Jasper_

Bella sat back on her chair and stared aimlessly at the screen in front of her. Her fingers drumming on her chin as she thought about what he had said.

Slowly, she was starting to make headway on this. It wasn't that it was conflicting, just different thoughts and opinions on the hows and whys. Jasper had just confirmed to her that all the points were right, none of them wrong, just different views coming from different people.

Bringing her document up, she reread it and began altering bits and pieces of it. Adding others opinions into the mix and writing her backups for those opinions, or what she believed those backups to be. By the time she had finished, she had managed to add another four thousand words to her dissertation and was now starting to feel happy with it.

* * *

 **AN:** _So their first email interaction...what ya think?_

 _It is going to take time for them to actually be together. They are on opposite sides of the pond. Hope you guys stick arounf though._

 _If you would be so kind as to review, that you be great. Thanks_


	7. Chapter 7

**AN:** _Hi there! Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter. Love hearing your thoughts on this little fic. This is a slow burn, there is no rushing this one, they need to grow together. Going from someone helping someone to friends, to great friends and so forth._

 _A massive thank you to SecretWriter010 who has so very kindly agreed to beta for me. Thank you so much for taking on the mammoth work load that is me lol. Another thank you to Laura/ spudzmom for her continued support and endless hours of fun over chat._

 _I do want to point out that there is a lot of history in this chapter, all the history on Nottingham is true (It's my home town). I added it as I wanted them to start to build their friendship by talking about history while slowly progressing forward. I needed a stepping stone, without them suddenly become friends right off the bat._

 _I hope you guys enjoy the chapter, see you at the bottom!_

* * *

Williston, North Dakota, America.

Present day. 

November.

 **To:Bella**

 **From: Jasper**

 **Subject: R.E: Points.**

 _You're on the right path, Bella. Most referred to the war as " Rich man's war, poor man's fight." The percentage of ownership was so small, so the whole notion of the Confederates fighting to keep it going was a weak argument. As I've said before, so many have different opinions on it, and none of them were actually there._

 _Like all wars, the rich start it, the poor fight it. It's a sad fact, but the truth all the same. The south wasn't full of money back then, so it really was the poor man fighting for the rich man._

 _Life was hard back then. There weren't things like hot running water or radiators. Homes didn't have electricity, no lighting without oil lamps. Most people, lived off the land, working hard for very little. Life was simpler, though. Think about it. You were born and raised with morals that aren't around today. Respect was so natural, and yet it's so lost nowadays. You found someone and got married, had children and you made it work. There wasn't this notion that they must have the latest phone, flashiest car or best designer clothes. Those things weren't important. Health, love and happiness were._

 _You know, I've been thinking about this whole sending files, surely you use a cloud of some sort? Wouldn't that be better? That way, you don't have to keep sending me bits and pieces. Just an idea, and I promise, I won't touch it._

 _Galleries of justice? Lace market, right? (Yes, I did some googling here) I bet that was an eye opener, seeing all the things of the past transpired, and where the baddies were held. Do you know who was the last person to be hanged in Nottingham?_

 _The Lace market is a pretty old part of town, isn't it? There's a lot of buildings that date back a few hundred years in Nottingham. I'm guessing here, but considering all the history that England has as a whole there's bound to be a few buildings left standing. I'm sure I once caught a documentary that was doing most haunted pubs in Britain and I'm pretty certain that one was in Nottingham. I can't remember the name as I wasn't really paying much attention at the time, but that kinda stuck._

 _Another hangover? HA! Have no sympathy for you, it's all completely self-inflicted. What's this, your third this week? Bella, we've only been emailing a little over a week and this has to be the third time you've told me you're hungover ._

 _What do I do? Good question. The answer I tend to give is that I'm expanding my artistic side, which basically translates to, I do not do lot. I've just kinda messed around with very little purpose you could say. The last few years haven't been the best for me, and it's kinda taken effect. Both my brothers are in school, well, one is and the other is at college. Emmett is at college with his girlfriend, my twin, Rose. (Yes, I'm aware how strange that sounds. We're all adoptive, under one roof and two of them are an item.) Edward is in school still, and kinda feels out the loop, but it's kinda tough luck on his part. It's not as though I can go redo my school years is it?_

 _Any brothers or sisters for you? Or are you one of those lucky ones who are the only one?If so, I'll lend you one of mine :)_

 _And it's still SNEAKERS!_

 _Jasper_

As the email went, Jasper sighed and pressed his face into the pillow, a small smile on his lips as he thought about them debating over sneakers. He couldn't really believe how easily he was finding this. It's not like he had assumed a friendship would bloom by answering Bella's cry for help, but somehow it had. Everything transpired so naturally, and he didn't really have to think about his answers. Playing human was a lot easier on screen than it ever was in the classroom.

Things just seemed to come out of their own accord, without him doing much thinking about regarding things. More than once, he had found herself chuckling over something she had said. It flowed so naturally between them, and he had found himself wanting to know more about her as the days passed by the emails continued. Emails that he had thought wouldn't happen, yet here they were, exchanging countless emails, daily.

Jasper had been shocked when Bella had asked him to read over what she had written for her dissertation. It wasn't a shock of her asking him, more what she had gotten down on paper. Secretly, he was impressed that she had managed to grasp so much and not find herself as confused as she had thought.

It felt good helping her, even if it was just sharing little bits without actually telling her what to write. Was this what Alice had wanted? Him to find those good, positive feelings in helping someone?

Though, so much of their emails consisted of them finding things out about each other and not her civil war dissertation. Not that he minded, the opposite in fact. It was the first time Jasper had actually had a friend, if that's what she was now, or was becoming, outside of the family. Or more importantly, a friend that was human.

Jasper couldn't help but marvel at how good that felt. No judgement came from Bella like it did from others who met him.

Covered in crescent scars, that screamed danger to his kind. It was like walking around with a great big neon sign that blasted fear. Most vampires were uneasy around him because of his scars and that was after they got to know him. Meeting a new vampire always ended one of two ways. They either avoided eye contact with him and then left sharply, or they wanted to prove themselves as a better fighter. Jasper was a fantastic fighter, but he hated how people looked at him, how they wanted to pick that fight. It was never his choice to live in the Southern wars, but it had happened and he had been determined to survive.

Even when he had played the schoolboy, the humans that were there naturally stayed away from them. Always feeling slight fear and danger whenever they came too close. The humans sometimes struggled with staying away, though. The alluring presence of a vampire naturally pulled them in. None of this was happening with Bella.

Jasper knew that the fact they were talking over the internet was a big help. Her natural self-preservation wouldn't kick in, as all she saw was words on a screen. She had no reason to fear him or feel threatened by him. It was perfect.

Jasper felt Rose's approach touch his senses, and his smile faded a little. He could feel her concern, it was one of her most dominating emotions. She was worried about his interaction with Bella, worried that Jasper was spending too much time talking to the girl and in the long run, would get hurt once Bella's dissertation was done and she no longer needed to talk to him. Jasper knew that Rose feared he would lose a friend he had only just started to get know.

As Rose opened the door to his cabin, his laptop pinged back at him. Sitting up, he clicked open the email, ignoring Rose as she entered his room.

 _Her bitching can wait_ , he thought.

 **To: Jasper**

 **From: Bella**

 **Subject: It's not SNEAKERS!**

 _Trainers… Trainers….Trainers...say it with me now...TRAINERS! Not sneakers, or any other word you want to use, it's Trainers! Sneakers just sound….sound so wrong. It's like you couldn't think of anything else, and just picked the worst word you could think of!_

 _Please never use the word pants to me when referring to jeans or trousers. Pants are undies...It's a little strange for me to hear (or read) as I just picture people walking around with their pants over their trousers._

 _Though, I will forgive you for not understanding the correct words within our language, I guess knowing all this civil war stuff has used up all those brain cells ;D_

 _Ooh! Yes! I use onedrive. I'll link you to it. Why didn't I think of doing it that way? It makes so much more sense than sending files backwards and forwards all the time._

 _George Hayward was the last person to be hung, behind the walls of Nottingham prison in April 1928 by executioner Thomas Pierrepont. (I Google that, as I didn't know)_

 _Yes, it's in the lace market, which is a very old part of Nottingham. I think the old court is dated back to the fourteenth century or something. Yes, according to the site it was still used until 1986 as a courthouse and police station. I think 1995 was when it reopened as Galleries of Justice._

 _Yes, it as three pubs, all of which claim to be the oldest. The Bell Inn, The Salutation Inn and Ye Olde Trip to Jerusalem. All of which are pretty close to each other in the town centre, and they're all kinda creepy. They have that feel about them, that things lurk there. There's a myth that The Trip to Jerusalem has a cursed galleon and the last three people to touch it have all met mysterious deaths and because of this, landlords have refused to let anyone clean it. It has caves underneath it too. Then again most of Nottingham has caves underneath it. Then the Salutation Inn has a ghost of a little girl, Rosie, in the caves underneath it, where there are toys scattered about. I don't know how true the toys are, never been. However, there are some strange feelings when you go to these pubs. There's a ghost walk you can do, and they take you to these pubs and into the caves._

 _The Trip to Jerusalem lies at the base of castle rock and has a rather large portion of the pub is carved out of the sandstone that the castle sits on. The sign above the pub claims it's from 1189 AD._

 _Salutation Inn is believed to be from around 1240 AD, and it was built on an even older pub site._

 _Bell Inn says it was established in 1437 AD. Trouble is, not much was really written down at the times these pubs were built and over the years they have had many, many teams of historians work on them to try and locate the actual date. One thing is for sure, all three of them are really old and you can certainly tell._

 _You are right, life does seem easier back then. Everything now is about making money. Money to pay bills, money to buy things, money to pay the tax man… It's a nasty circle. People don't have the same values or the same morals as they once did and respect is completely unheard of now. I guess I still cling on to the whole getting married and the vows mean something. Not the "I'll get married, if we fight, I'll leave." I doubt many people our age that get married, will make it to their silver wedding, let alone something like their ruby. It's a crying shame really. Then again, people get married so much later in life now._

 _Though, I don't think I could handle the life of no electricity or hot running water for that matter._

 _I'm just gonna pretend that you care about my hangover, and you got all confused when you were writing and what should've come out was. "Take some tablets, have a hot bath. Get someone to cook you food and run you a bath. (I can't do it because there's an ocean in way) and relax with your feet up." I know that's really what you meant._

 _Ah, is that how you came to be with an adoptive family? Tell me to piss off if I'm asking something too personal here. Don't feel you have to tell me anything. After all, you don't really know me, other than some British gal that rambles away at you._

 _So, Rose is your actual twin? Which one of you is older? Is Emmett the same age as Rose then? It does sound strange, I'll admit that, but, you aren't all related, so it's not like law breaking is it? But, what will happen if they ever fall out of love? Actually, that's a bit of a stupid question isn't it as Rose is twenty-one, the same as you...Legal adults and all. Out of them all, who do you least get on with?_

 _I am one of them! Haha! I grew up just me, and it's still just me. The rents never bothered after me, guess I was a handful and ruined it all for them :D_

 _Would have loved a sister. That would have been great, but it never happened, and thanks for the offer, but I'll live._

 _Still TRAINERS :P_

 _Bella._

"You gonna share with me what's got you all smiling?" Rose asked Jasper the moment his eyes lifted away from the screen. "Let me guess, it's that British girl again."

"Her names, Bella," Jasper shrugged, "Besides, I don't have explain anything to you, any of you." It came out harsher than Jasper intended, more of a growl than actual words.

He saw Rose flinch slightly at his growl, but to her credit, she stood tall. Her emotions swirled around him as she worked away through them all before reacting. Jasper always loved Rose for this. She never took it right off the bat, unless she was arguing. Any other time, she thought them through, before she spoke. Weighing them all up, and today was no different.

"Sorry," Jasper whispered, his eyes casting back to the screen. "I just…" he trailed off unsure of where he was going with this.

Jasper couldn't really explain any of it, or how these emails made him feel. Bella was a balm to him that he didn't realise he needed. Maybe it was the whole pretending to be someone he was not, creating a life that was more human than the one he had. Maybe it was how she moved through the emails, creating banter with him, but always being serious at the same time. Jasper felt like in some way, she was on his level and he could actually be himself for a change.

Whatever it was, he had grown so used to their emails in such a short space of time. A little of a week ago they had first exchanged emails, and from them on in, they continued to go back and forth.

"I worry about you," Rose answered honestly, moving to sit by him. Her eyes reading over the reply from Bella before she breathed deeply and shook her head. "I can see it, you know. But what happens if she stops talking to you after she has finished her work? Then what?"

"Nothing."

He hoped that wouldn't be the case. Their friendship was rapidly growing, and he almost couldn't believe that they would just stop talking once it was all over.

"Don't give me that, Jazz!" Rose remarked. "I know you. Just like I know you're itching to reply to her."

"I'm not."

"Then why haven't you taken your eyes off the screen?" Rose questioned, making a play for the laptop only to have it snatched away before she had the choice to touch it. "Jazz…"

"What?" He snapped again. "You want to come and tell me not to talk to her? Why can't I? She lives across the fucking ocean, it's not like she's in the same state or even the same country! I'm not about to reveal who or what I am if that's what you're thinking. This makes me feel better. In the last five years, my life has been fucking worthless, so don't you dare come in here and tell me who I can and can't be friends with!"

Jasper turned his back on his sister, his rage slowly starting to work its way down again as he breathed. He knew all about her concerns, she had voiced them to him, to Emmett. He had caught her talking about it behind his back like what he was doing was somehow wrong. It pained him that she just couldn't be happy that he had found something, as silly as helping someone do their civil war dissertation was, that made him happy.

Now more than ever, he was sure that this was why Alice had left that note. That stupid little note that tumbled out of his laptop when he finally opened it. She had left another clue then, but he hadn't seen it. All he had been focused on was that note. Alice must have seen that by him helping Bella out, it would somehow soothe him as they began to talk freely with one another.

Rose was the closest one in the family, he had opened up to her, but things were different with her. Things were still closed off or guarded, it wasn't completely free because too much had happened within the family. Too much pain had been shared and at times, it meant him opening up, was hard. With Bella, it was almost like he was talking Alice.

He felt free talking to her, the same as he had done with his wife. This made him certain that Alice had seen it and had wanted him to strike that friendship that would give him that small, tiny little window to be himself.

"I love you, Rose, I really do. But I need this."

"I don't want to see you hurt, Jasper," Rose whispered so softly as she touched his back with her fingertips. "That's the last thing I want to see. You've suffered so much, too much, and you still suffer."

"I know, but please…" He left it hanging, hoping she would understand that he understood her, but needed her to leave this alone.

Jasper wanted nothing more than for her to drop this, though he knew she wouldn't, not fully anyway. Deep down, Jasper knew that Rose was just looking out for him, she knew better than anyone in the family how much he was suffering. He understood her not wanting to see him get hurt, but to him, he was willing to take that chance.

"Okay." Rose sounded defeated, but he knew she was anything but. She would just now wait and see. "Go, reply….Maybe I can stay?"

"Keep it shut, then yes."

 **To:Bella**

 **From:Jasper**

 **Subject: R.E: It's not SNEAKERS**

 _It is I that will forgive you for not having a better understanding of our language. For someone who comes from a country that developed the language, you suck at it!_

 _It's sneakers, sneakers. Not that I actually wear them, but still. Learn it with me, let's break the word down for you to understand better. Snea….kers… let's put it together, sneakers. :P_

 _Okay, okay, I'll give you that one. I'll not refer to jeans as pants when talking to you. Don't want to confuse the poor little Brit gal anymore than needs be ;)_

 _I know the answer to that one. Would you like me to share with you why I thought about the idea of sharing via cloud? It's because I'm smart, and clearly have the better brain power (I could've used a much bigger word here, but I fear you wouldn't understand it, hehe) than you do. After all, didn't you refer to me as a walking encyclopaedia? That clearly states I am smarter than you are, but you keep trying...You know, reach for that dream and all._

 _Of course, that's what I secretly meant. You know, if I could I would go and cook you dinner, run you a hot bath, would you like candles too? Maybe even some of them smelly oils? Then, I'd get you to put your feet up, rest your sore head on some fluffy pillows, and give you a foot rub. How does that sound? Of course, you could just stop drinking and then you wouldn't have this problem, would you? ;)_

 _She actually is and is a right pain in the ass. I am the older one out of the two of us, a fact I never let her forget. Are you sure I can't send one of them to you? I'll send Rose, you two could go and have some girlie time, just be warned, she is a right bitch, but her heart is in the right place. I reckon you would get on well with Emmett, though I think he would just take the piss out of everything you say and how you say it. Then again, I think you'll hold your own there, wouldn't ya?_

 _Well, it's a lot more accessible to get divorced now to what it once was. Just like everything, you can do it online, at a fraction of the cost, it would cost you if you went to lawyers and such. Which in one sense, is good. If you don't have anything to divide up, why make it cost more money when you can just get a clean cut and walk away? This makes it easy for people to just break those vows. Though I agree with you, those vows aren't meant to be taken lightly, you're meant to honour them, and keep that promise. You're right, though, it's doubtful that many our age will see that sort of length marriage wise._

 _You don't think you could live without modern day things? I'll give you the whole hot water thing, as that's just a must, but electric? I could live out, then again, if I didn't have it, I wouldn't have the internet and in turn, I wouldn't be able to talk to you. :)_

 _Now that's something I wouldn't mind doing! A ghost walk through the city of Nottingham, underneath all those buildings through those caves. Those are old buildings! Steeped once again, full of history. I wonder how that galleon got cursed? Can you see it, or is it locked away somewhere? Would be pretty cool if you could see it, I wouldn't want to touch it, cause, well, you never know. Don't wanna tempt fate. Hell, I kinda wished I had stopped off in Nottingham now and checked it all out._

 _Wow, 1928? Not really that long is it that people were hung. It's even less time that England stopped execution altogether. Some point in the 60's England decided to abolish execution. I know a little English history, Carlisle, adoptive dad, is from England, so occasionally, we get to hear him talk about things that have happened over there. It's strange that you guys have stopped it, yet it still happens over here. Some agree with it, some don't. Guess it's a case of if you kill someone for their crimes and it's later proved that they didn't do it, then you can't really take it back, can you? When it's done it's done. Though, nowadays, it's easier to prove if someone is guilty of the crime._

 _I'm gonna have to cut this short, my sister is currently glaring at me. Link me to your doc._

 _Jasper._

"I thought you were helping her with her civil war dissertation?" Rose questioned the moment Jasper hit send.

Jasper was a little surprised that she had actually managed to not say a word while he had typed out his email. Rose's ever changing emotions were gaining rapid speed and Jasper knew he had no choice but to cut the email or Rose would start passing comment.

"Hardly looked like you two are actually talking about the civil war! I see you babbling on about old pubs in England? What the hell does that have to do with the civil war?" Rose snapped. "Foot rubs? Fucking candles and foot rubs? Are you flirting with her now? You've known her, what? A week? And you're already flirting?"

Jasper met her icy stare, realising that she just didn't understand anything. Sure, he was flirting a little bit, but it was harmless flirting, a bit of fun, much like their banter. Jasper knew she wouldn't take it seriously, and knew she would have her own set of comebacks. What they were doing was harmless, they were getting to know each other, exchanging bits and pieces of themselves.

Deep down he knew Rose wouldn't understand why they had transpired to them talking about old pubs in England or the hangings. He knew she wouldn't understand that they were just talking about history, a subject that he enjoyed, that they both enjoyed. It did fascinate him, that England was steeped in history, he had always enjoyed talking to Carlisle about his history. What he was doing with Bella was no different, it just so happened that Bella needed to extract certain information from him.

"I hardly think this was what Alice wanted you to do." As soon as the words left Rose's lips, Jasper felt her regret, but it was too late by that point, the damage was done.

Jasper's eyes closed as a sharp stab of pain shot through him like he'd been shot. The patch job on his heart began to pull once more as he felt his pain began to consume him once more. He took deep, shaky breaths, trying in vain to stop the emotional wave from running it's course and threatening once again to take hold of him.

Jasper had thought he was getting better, that he had laid the ghost of Alice to rest. Yet, one comment from Rose had sent it all spiralling out of control once more. Would he ever truly heal? Would he never fully be able to move forward with what had happened and be able to live his life?

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have.." A low growl caused Rose to stop her sentence midflow.

"Fucking save it!" Jasper growled. "You throw Alice in my face because I'm the slightest bit happy? What the fuck?"

"Jasper...I..I.."

"What? You're sorry? Heard it all before! And you know what? I don't care if you're sorry. I don't care what you think either. You've done your damage, if you can't be supportive, I suggest you leave me the hell alone."

* * *

 **AN:** _Hmm, Rose...She did some damage with her comment there and its pushed Jasper back a little bit. She's not a complete bitch and she cares deeply for her brother. She doesn't to see him get hurt and fears he will._

 _Anyways, next chapter is already written, and a dent has appeared in chapter 9 too._

 _If you could be so kind and drop me some thoughts, that would be great, thanks._


	8. Chapter 8

**AN:** _Hi there! A massive thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter,has faved the story and placed it on alert. Means a great deal to me, so thank you!_

 _A big shout out to Laura/Spudz for the countless hours of fun and her continued support. Go check out her stuff, if you haven't._

 _Rose pissed a lot of you off last chapter. Yeah.. She does mean well but just goes the wrong way about it. But it's how she is, lol._

 _Again, this is a slow burn. While it does move forward, don't expect them to be together in a chapter or two's time. It's gonna take a while, and hoepfully, you guys will stick around till the end._

 _See you at the bottom._

* * *

Williston, North Dakota, America.

Present day.

November.

Days passed Jasper by as he once again became unmoving. His fight with Rose had hurt him deeply, pushing him back into a space he didn't want to be in. To a degree, he could understand her actions. Jasper knew that one of Rose's biggest fears was exposure. It was no secret that she worried every time the family moved, and Carlisle started at another hospital or began work in a college. She wanted nothing and no one to upset her balance in this life.

Their fight had cut into him deeply, deeper than he wanted to admit to anyone. In the years since Alice's death, and with the closeness he and Rose had formed, he had hoped she would have a different understanding with him. Jasper had held some hope that she would see, would understand, that this little act he was doing was helping him.

He smiled, genuinely smiled, when he read and exchanged emails with Bella. A tiny spec of happiness, his happiness, had started to grow before Rose had crushed it. He knew she didn't need to throw Alice in his face, making him feel as though he had done something wrong against his deceased wife and mate. Rose throwing Alice into Jasper's face, had made him feel like he was betraying her in some way, and in turn, it had caused him to feel guilty.

Guilty that he was talking, laughing, exchanging with another woman. Flirting with one, even when it was harmless and just a bit of fun. Jasper had been so sure, so convinced, that Alice had led him this way to be at this point, to give him that window to be himself. To be just a tiny bit happy. Maybe she hadn't expected him to be this free with her. Jasper had no way of knowing what Alice did see, and that ate at him.

The guilt began to become too much, and because of that, he had ignored Bella. Jasper had ignored, not looked at, or opened, a single email that was slowly starting to fill his inbox. The last response he had given was when Rose had been there, just moments before they had fought.

Jasper hadn't seen Rose since the fight. He hadn't seen any of them.

Again his laptop pinged at him. He saw Bella's name flash in the bottom right-hand corner, and his hand twitched. Thoughts raced through his mind as his emotions began to stir once more, crashing into him over and over again, pulling his mood back down. Rose's voice echoed in his mind, throwing Alice in his face. A growl rattled in his chest as he saw her looking smug. His fist slammed down, hitting the side of the laptop, cracking it and sending keys flying everywhere, and in turn, the action caused Bella's email to open.

 **To:Jasper**

 **From:Bella**

 **Subject:Sorry.**

 _Jasper,_

 _Last ditch attempt to talk to you and say I'm sorry for upsetting you. I didn't mean any offence when I made reference to you being a red neck, or a hillbilly because you came from the south, or that you were stupid for butchering the English language with stupid phrases and misspelt words. I just assumed you would take it in good fun because you had taken the piss out of me._

 _If I had thought of it, I would have realised that you don't really know me and that what I've said, all I've said, could be taken the wrong way._

 _I know this will fall on deaf ears, after all, you've not bothered with any other email I've sent._

 _Anyways, I had a lot of fun chatting with you and having a laugh (Or what I thought was a laugh) with you._

 _Take care of yourself, and thank you for all the help you have given me._

 _Bella_

For a few moments, all he could do was stare at the screen.

' _She thinks she's upset me.'_ The thought circled through his mind, and caused a new pain to slam into his chest. The only friend he had outside the family, the only human friend he had, and she now thought she had upset him. All because of Rose and her attitude.

Jasper wanted to click reply and tell her that she hadn't; that it was just fun and he had taken everything she said that way. That the reason he hadn't replied was because of Rose, because she had thrown his dead wife in his face, and made him feel guilty. Though, he couldn't. How would he even begin to do that?

His laptop was now broken, the keys were mangled and the main board was cracked. It amazed Jasper that it was still on, let alone showing him his emails.

Almost without a thought, his fingers moved on their own, touching the sensor pad, and seeing if the cursor moved.

Surprised that it did, he scrolled to the first reply.

 **To: Jasper**

 **From: Bella**

 **Subject: R.E: It's not SNEAKERS!**

 **(sent 4 days ago.)**

 _I suck at it? Look in the mirror cowboy, you are the ones that miss spell words, change phrases and just give things a completely different name! You have butchered the beautiful language, but it's okay, I will help you out and get you to fully understand it all. We will start off slowly, simple words first and then move to bigger words. (Bigger words you clearly don't know or you would have used it instead of brain power) :P_

 _Just because you're a smartie pants, doesn't mean you have better brain power than me. You are from hick land, and therefore, by default, you have already lost at least a good 50% of your brain power._

 _It's such a good job I have lots of fun emailing you. *blows kiss* :D_

 _I've linked you, Jasper. Can you highlight anywhere I'm going off key, that would be amazing!_

 _Fluffy pillows, candles, smelly oils, foot rubs and food cooked for them? Shit! You're like a walking girl's wet dream, aren't you? Bet you have that killer southern accent too…._

 _I could stop drinking (I am currently drinking while I stare at this doc) but then where is the fun in that? Besides, if I did that, then you can't possibly come and take care of me with fluffy pillows, scented candles and foot rubs._

 _Haha, take the piss out of me? And what I say? Don't you realise that Brits love giving you Americans a sheet of paper with words on it so we can laugh at how you say it? It will be I that will laugh! We should skype one time, so I could really take the piss :)_

 _(Plus I wanna know if you have that accent or not.)_

 _Wow! Not many men your age will openly admit that they look at wedding vows as something of honour! Well, at least not anyone I know our age that is. Looks like you had some of them old school morals instilled into you too._

 _Aww, thanks, Jasper, that's really nice of you to say! And yes, I'm glad you have the internet too so we can talk. It's weird, you're like a million miles (I'm not googling that shit, Mr smartie encyclopaedia pants) from me, and yet we seem to just click and get on. I am really pleased you answered my call, I've got a new friend who is funny as hell and banters with me so well._

 _If you ever come over again, we should so go on that ghost walk. But you have to promise me not to run off or scare me, I'll be peeing my pants (Both outtie and innie). As much as I wanna go, I'm scared! Lol._

 _Hang on, you're adoptive dad is from England? Really, whereabouts? Let me guess, London. Am I right? Bet I am, all Londoners seem to flee London at some point haha. Does he miss home? Can't believe he's from here and you never said! Its a good job I decided I ramble away about Nottingham history than full blown English history, bet you know all that stuff already._

 _Hmm, execution. It's a tough one, some feel it should've never been stopped, others believe that it being abolished was the right thing to do. But you're bang on the money there. If they are executed, and then it's later proved that they didn't commit that crime, there really is no going back. At least with a prison sentence, if they are proved innocent, they have only lost years and not their life. It's a small consolation really, but it's better than death._

 _Death glare? Or just a pissed off glare? Haha, go, have fun, I'll catch you later._

 _Tata for now_

 _Bella._

A small smile graced Jasper's lips as he had read through her email. He felt the same, and that crushed him all the more. Jasper loved how they bantered, how it was almost offensive, but somehow, someway, it never came across to Jasper that it was. With every email they had exchanged, he was pushing more and more, and so was she. They both wanted to know how far they could push each other before one went too far.

Four days, was that all it was? It seemed so much longer to Jasper. It amazed Jasper how quickly he had grown used to their emails, how he had begun to look forward to them. Jasper knew her sleep pattern. He knew when she would reply in the morning, and made sure he was waiting for it.

Often, it appeared to Jasper that Bella was waiting for the reply to her email like he did with hers, but he had never really allowed that thought to grow. Fear that he was wrong, fear that it wasn't really a friendship they were developing, stopped it. He realised now he was wrong. They were friends, they were on the same page, but that no longer mattered.

Rose had done her damage.

 **To:Jasper**

 **From: Bella**

 **Subject: I finally hit 10K**

 **(Sent 4 days ago)**

 _*Happy dance* I've hit ten thousand words! GO ME! Okay, it's more 9980...But that's almost ten thousand words._

 _Tonight Mr smartie pants, I may go out and get drunk! There's naff all on TV, and I really can't be bothered to write more on my work...I'm about to embark on the soldiers. Screw that for one night. My book is bigger than War and Peace and there are about a million pages of them all...Or of what they think is all, could be bothered to find, blah blah blah…_

 _So, it's either I chat to you, :D or get drunk_

 _Bella_

Jasper breathed deeply, reading that she more than likely wanted to chat than get drunk. He wanted to reply and tell her well done for finally hitting the mark, well, almost hitting it. Jasper knew how she was struggling to convey it right at times. He wanted to go and read what she had written, and see if it had grown anymore in the last four days, but he couldn't. It was too late to reply to this.

 **To:Jasper**

 **From: Bella**

 **Subject: I think I am dying!**

 **(Sent 3 days ago)**

 _I am dying! You could have saved me from this, but you didn't. And now I am dying, I think it only fair that you now grovel for my forgiveness!_

 _No, but seriously, are you okay? I've not heard from you since yesterday morning._

 _Let me guess, you've not paid your internet bill? Haha_

 _Sort it out Mr smartie pants!_

 _Bella_

"I'm not okay, Bella, I haven't been okay for a long time," Jasper spoke so low in the quiet room, almost afraid to speak too loudly for fear of shattering the stillness of it all. It wouldn't matter how loudly he spoke, Bella wouldn't hear him.

It warmed him slightly that she cared enough to ask him if he was okay.

 **To: Jasper**

 **From: Bella**

 **Subject: Hello?**

 **(Sent 2 days ago)**

 _Erm...Have I upset you?_

 _You know I was only joking, if I ever go too far, just say!_

 _Shit, I'm sorry, Jasper. I don't really think those things, honestly._

 _Bella_

Jasper shook his head as he read the little email from Bella. It hurt him that she believed it was her fault that he wasn't replying. Not once had he taken a thing to heart she had said, and even if he had, he would have told her and not just sulked off somewhere.

Pushing the sensor a little harder than normal, he finally got it to move to the last unread email.

 **To:Jasper**

 **From:Bella**

 **Subject: I'm sorry x**

 **(sent 1 day ago)**

 _Jasper?_

 _I'm sorry. I honestly thought we were joking around with each other. I didn't mean to upset you or make you feel uneasy. I've read over my messages to you, and the whole southern accent thing, I was drunk. Well, I had been drinking and it just came out. The whole skype thing...I'm so sorry! Of course, that was really out of line, you're helping me with my uni work and here's me acting like we're best buddies or something. If I could take back the comment of the killer accent…._

 _Surely you know that most women swoon over that shit? Well, British women tend to, anyway._

 _Shit, I'm not helping this am I?_

 _No wonder you're not answering me, I'm making such a tit out of myself._

 _Please answer me, I promise I will watch what I say and not get carried away. I've bored you to tears with my crap about hangings, and old pubs...why the hell would you even want to know about that? You don't, no one does. Guess I was just trying to make myself more interesting, and you were sharing all this cool information with me and…_

 _I'm sorry, okay._

 _Bella_

Jasper felt deflated. It was the only thing he could think of to describe how he now felt. His friendship with Bella had ended almost as quickly as it had begun. Why couldn't Rose just leave him alone? Jasper knew that if she hadn't have said that, hadn't have brought Alice into this, he wouldn't have ignored her.

He loved the idea of talking to her on skype. He was interested to hear her accent, just as she was his. Jasper wanted to see her, put a face to the name, hear how she sounds, make her seem more real. Jasper had toyed with the idea of asking her if she wanted to chat on messenger, it would be easier than the emails at times. They seemed to go back and forth, both waiting to reply to one another that maybe messenger would have been a good idea.

' _If only..'_ Jasper thought almost bitterly to himself as he thought of Rose once more.

His resentment had increased over the last few days. He had spent so long working on it, letting it go slowly, while never fully forgiving what had happened, and now here he was back in that same place he had been five years ago. Full of resentment once more for a so called family member, a sister who had laid claim she didn't want to see him hurt. Rose had been the one to hurt him in the end.

She had taken away that tiny bit of happiness he had found. Jasper knew that she knew what throwing Alice in his face would do to him. Rose was aware of how it may have been five years since he lost her, but he hadn't forgotten her, he hadn't fallen out of love with her, and he still craved her dearly. Jasper was sure that she had thrown Alice in his face on purpose, knowing full well what damage it would cause him.

Could she just not be happy for him? Be happy that he had found some lightness in his black world. Why did she have to destroy it for him? Wasn't it enough that he had lost his mate thanks to her and his family? That she then had to take this away from him too?

' _Wonder where Peter is?'_ The thought whipped through his mind quickly, before he pushed it away.

Going to see Peter and Charlotte wasn't really a good idea. Jasper knew that if he went to see him, his visit would be a long one, and now that he didn't have Alice, things between him and Charlotte would return to how they once were. Jasper didn't want that. He was on good terms with her, and the last thing he wanted to do was cause problems for Peter like he had when he first left Maria.

Peter had loved Jasper being with them, but Charlotte hadn't. She felt jealous of Peter splitting his time between his friend and his mate. It had caused many negative emotions to be directed towards Jasper from Charlotte. Because of this, it had been one of the reasons he had left them and gone off on his own. Things between him and Charlotte had improved when he met Alice and he had returned with her. Peter no longer split his time and Charlotte no longer felt jealous.

Jasper knew that while his friend would never turn his back on him, he knew that those old feelings from Charlotte would return.

' _Maybe it's best I just stay here."_

Where else was he meant to go? He didn't fancy the life of a nomad. Nor did he fancy the idea of dealing with Charlotte's emotions that would turn sour after time. Jasper knew he had one of two choices, stay here where he was or go to Volterra.

' _Caius would certainly be happy,'_ Jasper thought.

More than once Caius had tried and failed to get him to join the ranks. It had started many years ago, during his time with Maria when he had met the warrior king. The Volturi had arrived to clean house once again in the south, and had paid a visit to Maria and her coven. They gave her a warning about her wars within the south, and her frequent carelessness at drawing attention from humans.

Caius had watched a fight from the sidelines, hidden out for few as Jasper took on a handful of newborns, destroying them with power and grace as they attempted to overthrow Maria. Caius had stepped out of his hiding place, clapping his hands at Jasper who had merely narrowed his eyes.

The pair had stood toe to toe, weighing the other up, before a fight broke out between them. The old vampire had tossed Jasper around like a rag doll, almost humiliating him in front of everyone. But Jasper was playing smart, paying attention to how Caius fought, learning his moves. Jasper had noticed Caius never went for the kill, instead choosing to spar. As Jasper had hit the dirt once more, sliding across the ground, he smirked and attacked, blocking Caius's moves and sending the warrior king flying.

Caius had been shocked but had quickly recovered and charged once more. The pair had gone, again and again, trying to gain the upper hand on the other. Every time one seemed to have it, it was snatched away before they could capitalise on it.

By the time they had stopped, they were both looking worse for wear. Ripped clothing, hair a mess, covered in dirt with drying venom on them as they nursed new scars. They had shaken hands, and Caius had offered him a place in his guard, but Jasper had refused.

They had stayed friends of sorts, and they always sparred whenever they saw one another. Sometimes Jasper lost, much to Caius's gloating, sometimes Jasper won and sent the warrior king into a foul mood, and sometimes neither could out do the other.

Every visit always ended with Caius offering Jasper a place in his guard.

No, while the thought of visiting Volterra was appealing, he wasn't ready to go just yet.

Compassion... A deep-rooted, ever flowing compassion touched Jasper's senses, getting stronger as Jasper heard Carlisle's light footfalls across the ground. Jasper wanted him to go away, but he knew Carlisle wouldn't. He would stand out there all day if he had to. A light knock sounded on his cabin door, a knock he was expecting. Unlike Rose, who would just walk in, Carlisle respected his privacy and always knocked.

Calling him in, Jasper kept his eyes on his now broken laptop, wishing he hadn't lost his temper and broke it. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Carlisle enter the room, noticing his son sitting in the centre of his bed, deflated by everything. He heard Carlisle sigh, as he moved into his room and sit on the edge of his bed.

"Son?"

Jasper just shook his head, unable to speak to his father.

"What's happened? No one has seen you for days."

"Rose happened," Jasper whispered, his voice cracking from lack of use.

Carlisle released a breath slowly, sounding more annoyed at the mention of his sister. Carlisle often had to deal with Rose, who had a tendency to rub everyone the wrong way. Her normal target was Edward, and more than once did Carlisle have to step in and break them up.

Hands crossed Jasper's eyesight, as Carlisle took hold of his broken laptop. Jasper noticed he didn't read what was on the screen, choosing to just close the lid and push it away from him. He was thankful for that, not that he had anything to hide, but he didn't really want his father figure knowing how he had made the girl feel.

"Am I correct in assuming that Rose has something to do with the reason that your laptop is broken?" All Jasper could do was nod his head, as his hatred for his sister picked up a notch. "Hmm, so I am going to assume that Rose has had something to do with you corresponding with this Bella?"

"She threw Alice in my face," he whispered. "She made me feel like I was doing something wrong, betraying Alice in some way."

"Ah, you know Jasper, there is nothing wrong with charming someone. I do it all the time, does that mean I am betraying Esme?"

"That's different."

"Is it? I have to charm and flirt at times to gain a patient's trust, and that's all you've done. I'm assuming of course here, that you were only doing what you do naturally." Carlisle turned a little bit, toed off his shoes and put his feet on the bed, his arms outstretched behind him. "Rose was out of line with what she said. Does she just expect you to spend the rest of eternity on your own?"

Jasper's head snapped up, looking at Carlisle with shock etched on his face. "It's not like that, it's nothing like that."

Carlisle held his hands up in defense, feeling his troubled son's emotions. "I wasn't implying it was, Jasper. I know that this isn't anything like that. I know this is just a friendship, but one day you might find someone else. If Rose can not handle you being friends with a girl, then she has a very troubled soul." Carlisle crossed his ankles, looking round the room. "Neither I nor Esme feel, or will ever feel, like you are betraying Alice in any way. And neither should you."

Jasper nodded his head, appreciating Carlisle's words. "I miss her, Carlisle. I know I'll never get her back, but this," Jasper's hand waved toward his laptop, "made me feel happy. Just a tiny bit, and for a short time, life didn't seem so dark."

"You felt like you could live again."

"Yes." It came out as just a tiny whisper on his lips.

"Alice sent you towards her. I believe she sent you that way for more than just civil war, Jasper," Carlisle replied gently, squeezing his son's shoulder.

"Thank you, guess I just needed to hear it from someone, you know?"

Carlisle grinned, "It's part and parcel of being a parent of this makeshift family." Jasper snickered slightly causing Carlisle to chuckle. "Are you going to email Bella back?"

"I kinda broke my laptop." Jasper shrugged. "She thinks she's offended me."

"Then correct her, Jasper." Carlisle stood up, "Go buy a new laptop and talk to her. Besides, I hear she's British."

"She is," Jasper remarked seeing Carlisle smirk. "What about it? You're not about to break into song and sing the national anthem are you? Wait, do you even know it?"

"It's my homeland, of course, I know it."

Jasper watched Carlisle leave, hearing his quick footfalls as he headed back to the main house. His talk with Carlisle had made him feel better over the whole situation and was just what he needed. Carlisle was right, he was doing nothing wrong, and deep down he knew that. But after Rose, he discovered he also needed someone tell him that.

Standing up, Jasper headed into the closet where he kept Alice's stuff in boxes. He knew he needed to go through it all, but he hadn't been able to. To him, keeping her stuff, even though it was in boxes and out the way, gave him some comfort.

Rummaging through what seemed like never ending boxes, he smiled when he found Alice's laptop. Pulling it out with the power cord, he headed back to his bed as he contemplated emailing Bella.

Jasper wanted to. He had missed their emails and their banter, but had he really left it too late? The girl now thought he hated her, that she had offended him with what she had said. Jasper knew that he had some explaining to do. It was only right that he told her something close to the truth as to why he hadn't been around, why he had ignored her emails.

As the laptop booted up, he continued to toy with the idea of either just leaving it be or trying to make amends.

Alice's old laptop soon kicked into life, and with a small smile on his lips, he set his mind on making amends. It was then that he noticed the wallpaper on her screen. It had changed since the last time he saw it in use.

White background with Alice's own handwriting in pink stared back at him.

' _I LOVE YOU X'_

* * *

 **AN:** _Ah, so, Daddy C came to talk to Jasper, here's hoping that Jasper does, in fact, sort it out and make contact again with Bella. I'm on chapter 10 in my docs, so 9 will make its way to you all in about a weeks time._

 _Reviews would be lovely, thank you._


	9. Chapter 9

**AN:** _Hi there! I'm so sorry I'm late with the update! Screaming babies, kids driving me mental, Christmas just being around the corner and being ill, time has flown!_

 _A massive thank you to everyone who reviewed, placed on alert and faved this. Means so much!_

 _Again, a massive thank you to Laura for doing her thing._

 _This will more than likely be my last update of the year. I can't see me managing to get the next chapter finished (I'm half way through) and sorted before then. Trust, its not good to go writing when drunk!_

 _If you celebrate Christmas, then I hope you have a good one and Santa brings you everything that you want!_

* * *

Bella stared at her laptop, a sigh leaving her lips as she heard the swish of her last email to Jasper being sent. It was her last dip attempt to try and contact him, though she had resigned to the fact that it would go unanswered; they all had.

It upset her, deeply, if she allowed herself to admit it. Bella had loved their conversations, she had marvelled in getting to know this man over emails. Sharing bits of their life's with one another, discussing silly, pointless things. Laughing over how they had different names for things, debating it, almost. She had thought that it had all been good fun, that they had just been bantering with one another. Bella was sure that things she had said, he wouldn't have taken offence too, but as the hours ticked by and they trickled into days, she began to believe that she had, indeed, upset him.

Bella could slap herself for acting the way she did. She had spoken to him, acted like she had known him all her life instead of the week or so that she had. There was no way that he would know she meant zero harm in anything she had said. More than once she wished she could take it all back, be able to time hop back and change what she had said, but she couldn't. All she could do was try and make amends with him.

Jasper's silence had spoken volumes to her.

To Bella, she had offended him, and deeply, and that thought crushed her.

It shouldn't. She shouldn't care if she never spoke to this man ever again, but she couldn't shake off the feeling of how they had connected. How easy it was to talk and joke with him. How she waited, albeit trying hard not to, for his reply to her emails. Bella had looked forward to actually forming a solid friendship with him that would surpass her dissertation.

 _My dissertation,_ Bella thought.

That's where this had all started. If she hadn't of picked this subject, Emma would have never filled in that stupid profile on that site, and she would never have met Jasper.

All she could be now was thankful for all the help he had given her. He had helped her see that she wasn't as confused and muddled as she had originally thought. In fact, she was making sense and carving a clear path through it. All she had to do now, was keep on the right path and all being well, she would hand in a half decent dissertation.

Over the last week, since she had last spoke to Jasper, she had only managed to add bits here and there. Tweak it, and sort out any horrid spelling mistakes and try and curve her obsession with commas. Bella knew she would run the whole thing through Grammarly before she actually handed it in, and she wouldn't really be marked down if the odd comma was in the wrong place, just as long as it was readable and made sense.

Opening up her doc, she grabbed her oversized book on Civil War, and mindlessly flicked through the pages, waiting to see if anything jumped out at her and screamed "Write me!" at her. Bella had reached a point in her dissertation where she was writing about a number of men that had served in it, plus the number of casualties.

When Bella had first planned out her dissertation, she had decided that when she got to this point, she would pick a name and write a piece on them. The idea she had, was that if she was to write a few paragraphs about someone who had served in the war, it would make her work seem more real, more gripping and life altering. All she had to do was pick someone.

She had wanted to use Jasper's distant relative, knowing that she could gain more information than she could from her book, or books, but now with him not answering her, that ship had sailed. The thought caused a pang of regret to stab her, as the thought crossed her mind that she had lost, what could have been, a beautiful friendship.

Turning her thoughts back to the matter at hand, she continued to flip the pages until something caught her eye. Stopping her page flicking, she slowly turned the pages back until she found what had caught her eye.

"Major Jasper Whitlock.." Bella whispered. "That's it! That's where I had heard the name."

Bella felt her breath leave her as she looked at the photo of the striking young man. Now, just like it had the first time she clapped eyes on the old photo, it made her heart flutter. There was something about him, something that seemed to spark something in her, and she couldn't help but wonder what this man had of been like when he was alive.

He was stunning. The old photo wasn't brilliantly clear, but she could see he was gorgeous, and part of her wished she could just have one photo with today's technology to see just how striking he had actually been.

Looking at this old photo of Major Jasper Whitlock, Bella couldn't help but wonder what the Jasper she had been speaking too was like. What colour hair did he have? Was it long or short? Brown, black, blonde? What colour eyes did he have? How did he actually sound? Was he short or tall? Bella had tried to picture what he could possibly look like before but had always come up blank.

What they looked liked, had never come up in any conversation. How was she actually meant to picture him when she didn't have the faintest idea of what he looked like?

Shaking her head, Bella pushed these stupid, childish thoughts aside. She and Jasper weren't friends, and she doubted they would ever speak again. The chances were very slim of that happening. It wasn't like they ran the risk of bumping into one another in town. The didn't live in the same city, or even the same country, so they were pretty safe there.

Bella needed to stop thinking about him and go back to her work. Maybe writing about a certain Major who shared Jasper's first name wouldn't be the best idea. Though, every time she looked at others, they all just seemed boring, not as enticing as Major Whitlock seemed to be to her. Plus, he looked hot in that photo.

"You need to get out, Bella, you really need to get out," Bella muttered to herself, mentally slapping herself for her train of thoughts. "Enticing? Really, Bella, just really?"

Again her thoughts wandered back to Jasper and his relation. Bella couldn't help but wonder if he had died in the war, and if so, was he in her book? Though, this was yet again a question she would never find an answer too, as she had never asked him.

All them hours, all those emails and never once had she bothered to ask him what had happened to his x times great uncle. She should have asked him, should have pushed for more information, but she hadn't. Instead, she had rambled on about Nottingham's history, and hangovers. She had been given the perfect chance to gain this information from him, but she had missed it, placed it down in her mind to "I'll get it later", and that had been it. Bella was stupid for passing it up as she knew she wouldn't get a chance like this ever again.

Just like before, she wished she could turn back the clock and redo things. Do them right and get the information she needed. If only she was that selfish, she wouldn't have this trouble now. Though, that wasn't her. Bella knew she couldn't just go and get that information, use someone just for her own personal gain and not give anything in return. Bella had hoped she was giving friendship in return, though it now appeared not to be the case.

SPK

Bella's head banged repeatedly on her desk as she tried to move past her few new lines she had written. Nothing was once again coming out. It seemed to Bella that this what like trying to get blood from a stone, though, she had thought that maybe that would be easier then what she was trying to achieve.

It had been three days since her last ditch attempt to speak to Jasper and subsequently, she had given up on ever speaking to him again. To Bella, it felt like since she did that, she had also lost the motivation to write her dissertation.

Rereading the last few paragraphs of her work, trying to bring herself back into that mindset, her laptop pinged at her, the notification flashing in the right bottom corner of the screen. Bella blinked, staring at it for the few moments it stayed there before it disappeared from her view. She questioned herself if she had actually seen it or not. If her eyes were playing tricks on her. She needed to get some serious sleep. Too many late nights were starting to take their toll on her, followed by the countless hours of staring at the screen.

Not fully believing what she had seen, she opened her email account and sure enough, an email from Jasper stared at her.

Bella wanted to move the cursor and click on it, but she found herself angry at him. He hadn't bothered with her for over a week now, why should she even open the damn thing and look at it? Still, even though she was angry at him for not bothering all this time, she had been praying he would speak to her. Give her that chance to explain herself and say sorry for allowing her fingers to just randomly type away without any thought.

Bella moved the arrowed cursor over the email, still contemplating opening it. She wanted to know what he had said, yet, she seemed scared to even bring herself to click it. What if when she opened it there was nothing but harsh wording telling her to rot in hell?

A frown marred her brow as she sat back in her chair, moving her hand away from the sensor pad, and therefore taking the temptation away from clicking it open. She could feel her heart race slightly, just by looking at the unopened email. Her stomach twisted in knots as she thought that maybe she might have overdone it on the sorry emails.

"Just click on the damn email, Bella," she told herself.

Taking a deep breath, Bella finally moved the cursor back to Jasper's email. It hovered over the bold lettering, just the same as Bella's finger hovered on that button to click it open. Pushing out a breath through her nose, she finally clicked on the email.

 **To: Bella**

 **From: Jasper**

 **Subject: It's been a while.**

 _Hey, so, I know I've blanked you for a week or so, I'm sorry about that._

 _Guess I have some explaining to do. Please know, it wasn't you or anything you said._

 _I've added you to my Skype contacts, figured it would be best if we spoke in real time instead of email. Hope you don't mind._

 _Jasper x_

Bella stared at the email, a feeling of pure shock covering her. All her thoughts, all the phantom emails she can conjure up in her mind, none of them had him saying he wanted to talk to her on Skype. Did that mean Skype as in video chat? Or Skype as in messaging? If he had meant video chat, was she ready for something like that? Could she actually look at this man and not lose her cool at the fact that she had spent a week thinking she had done something wrong?

It didn't matter that he had said it wasn't her, Bella hadn't known this for the last week. To her, his void had been her doing, and she couldn't switch it off now, all because he had said it wasn't her.

What had happened, had hurt her. She couldn't just let it drop without him knowing.

Part of her wanted to load up Skype and sign herself in, hear or see all he had to explain, yet another part wanted to close the laptop down and forget all about him for now. Bella didn't think she really wanted to face him right now. She wanted to make him wait, wait like he had done to her, but that was petty. Petty and childish, she was above five-year-old school ground play, wasn't she?

Regardless, she wasn't going to run to him straight away. She had her pride, and she wouldn't just jump because he had said so.

Instead of doing what she really wanted to do, Bella grabbed hold of the top of her laptop and closed the lid, hibernating it for the time being. This meant she couldn't do her work on her dissertation, even though she really didn't have the will to do it anyway. Still, she was pissed with herself for closing her laptop down, and not having a strong enough will to keep it open, be able to work and not respond to the email.

Sighing, Bella left her room and headed into the kitchen. The house was strangely empty, and for once, Bella found herself, not wanting to be in an empty house. Even though just herself and Emma lived in the house, there always seemed to be someone else here. A few friends, or the guy Emma was currently seeing, or even Emma herself. Normally Bella would embrace the sheer thought of being on her own, having her own space, to be alone with her thoughts, but today was not one of those days.

She wanted someone to distract her, to help her pass the time until she felt she had made him wait long enough before she got in contact. It was petty, she knew this, yet that thought alone wasn't enough for her to stop what she was doing, head back upstairs and do what she actually wanted to do.

No, Bella had decided she was going to be stubborn this time and not go running off to answer him.

Maybe if he had put more thought, more effort into his email, Bella would maybe have answered him right away. Alas, he had said very little to her. This only made Bella question him a little more and be unwilling to respond. With everything that Bella felt she had said to him in the last week, she felt like he should have offered just a little more than a few words jotted down, seemingly not even thinking or caring about what was said.

"I have some explaining to do," Bella muttered to herself as she stood by the back door and lit up a smoke. "Fucking arsehole."

The words left her mouth in a cloud of smoke, as she tried to conjure up whatever reason he could possibly have for ignoring her, and then offering so little when he finally did talk to her. Jasper hadn't given anything away when he had emailed her. Bella thought that he may as well have just left the last bit on the email and gotten rid of the rest, for the help they did.

As Bella took another long pull on her smoke, she realised he had never even asked her how she was. He would have known that she had been worried about him, convinced it was something she had said to him that had caused him to blank her. Wasn't that how it went? You didn't speak to someone for a while and when you do, you ask them how they are?

Though, if he had of said that, would she still be up there now? Plugged into Skype and talking to him? Doubtful, but he still should have said more, anything more and made his email seem like he did care. To Bella, it seemed as though he wasn't overly bothered, his short, almost non-existent message, made her feel like he had messaged her as an afterthought, and nothing else.

Then again, it wasn't like they knew each other. A few exchanged emails didn't count as friends, he owed her nothing. And that really was the sad truth of it all.

Sighing, Bella rested her head against the doorframe, staring out at the dark clouds that were starting to creep in over Nottingham, as a few spots of rain began to dampen the ground around the door. She needed to get to grips with this, she had allowed this to affect her far too long, and it wasn't healthy.

But Bella couldn't explain why this all seemed to affect her the way it did. Though, she was sure that being left in the dark, with no explanation as to why she had been treated like the plague, had a lot to do with it. She always struggled to understand why some people would just turn and blank others for no reason what so ever. It had been no different with Jasper. He had shunned her for no reason that she knew of, only reasons that she had guessed and obsessed over.

Chucking her smoke, she decided that if she was going Skype with Jasper, then wine was needed.

The thought of video Skyping with him made her nervous, and she wanted to calm herself down. Wine would serve her a great purpose here, though she had to be careful not to get drunk and loosen her tongue. The last thing she wanted was to get drunk and allow her mouth to run wild and offend him more than she had already done.

Grabbing her keys off the side, Bella fished her hands in her pockets looking for a source of money. Pulling out a fiver, Bella smiled and headed towards the front door.

The moment she stepped outside, the cold November air hit her and she regretted not grabbing a jacket before she left. Taking two steps at a time, Bella hurried to the pavement, thankful that the local off-licence was just across the road from where she lived. Waiting for a break in the traffic, Bella quickly raced across Derby road, narrowly missing a car that she hadn't seen.

Pushing the door open to the local off-licence, come convenient store, Bella smelled at the shop keeper and headed down the back end of the shop where the wine was kept. As she neared the end, she clocked Craig at the old cash machine. Bella inwardly groaned, she didn't want to see him, in fact, she had avoided him for the last week, not wanting to fall into last years trap that she was quickly finding herself in.

"Hey, B," Craig smirked as he took the money from the machine. "Whatcha buying?"

"Wine," Bella answered, picking up random bottles and reading the back labels.

Only once had she randomly grabbed one before, and it was once too many. The stuff had tasted like paint stripper, that she had been able to taste for a week after she had drunk it. Since then, Bella was more careful with what she picked up and drank.

"Taking a break from work?" Craig asked, following Bella towards the till. "You coming out Friday night?"

"I dunno," Bella sighed, placing her bottle on the counter. "I wanna, but, I really need to crack on with this dissertation."

"Yeah, but all work and no play…" He smirked at her, and despite her previous thought, she smiled at him coyly. "You could come crash at mine?"

"No, Craig. You're in a house with six other boys, I've seen the state of your gaff." A shudder ran through her as the images of what Craig's place actually looked like ran through her mind. It had been disgusting, and she had been convinced that things were actually crawling, though she couldn't actually prove that. Bella had promised herself that she would never find herself at Craig's place again. If anything ever happened between them, they went back to Bella's. "You know the deal."

"Yeah, but Emma caught my naked arse nipping to the loo," Bella couldn't help but chuckle slightly at that thought. "She saw too much."

"Don't go walking naked then, simples." She shrugged at him as she paid the shopkeeper and grabbed her bottle. "It's your own fault, no sympathy from me."

"Stevo!" Craig bellowed as they left the shop. "Were you going?...What?"

"Gotta get my hair cut." Stephen called back, "You coming?" He asked as he stood in front of the local barbers.

"I'll catch you Friday, B, yeah?" Craig asked, placing a kiss on her cheek.

"Maybe." Bella smiled pushing him away, as she looked for another break in the traffic. "You'll just have to look for me."

Dashing back across the road, Bella raced back up the steps and opened the front door. Heading into the kitchen, she went in search of a clean glass, ignoring the pile of washing that needed doing. It was Emma's turn to do it, but just like when it was Emma's turn to do anything, things would get too desperate measures before she went and did anything.

"Bingo!" Bella cried joyfully as she found a clean glass in her backup cupboard.

Unscrewing the lid, Bella poured herself a large glass and took a long drink, relishing at the sweet, yet crisp taste of her wine as it glided down her throat. Lighting up another smoke, Bella contemplated heading upstair now and signing into Skype. Though she wasn't sure if he would still be online.

Looking at the time, she realised it was just turned four here, and Jasper was currently six hours behind her, so it wasn't the middle of the night there. Though, the time difference had never been an issue before. He always seemed to be online whenever she was awake. Bella had tried not to think about it before, and just accepted that he must suffer from insomnia or something.

Bella herself was no stranger to insomnia.

Far too soon, Bella's smoke was finished and she flicked it across the yard. She knew that it was now or never to sign in to Skype and see what Jasper had to say for himself. Bella was currently out of options to keep herself offline a little longer, yet if she was truthful, she was secretly excited to speak to him again.

Grabbing her glass and wine bottle, Bella headed back upstairs, cursing her old laptop that seemed to take longer than normal to boot up.

"You dare tell me you want to perform updates and I'll smash you into tiny pieces." She threatened as she waited for windows stupid tone to kick in.

Upping her knee up to her chest and resting her foot on the edge of the seat, Bella sipped her wine and waited for the login window to appear. After what seemed like an eternity, it finally popped up. Quickly logging in, she stared at the screen while it loaded up all its crap, almost teasing her with the fact that she could see the Skype icon, yet she couldn't click it.

If this was to become a regular thing between them, then she would have to keep it signed in all the time, so she would always be on whenever she turned on her laptop.

"Slow yourself down," Bella muttered to herself.

She was, she knew, racing ahead of herself. There was nothing to say that after today they would ever speak again, just like there wasn't anything that said they would either. The thought made her smile at actually using Skype to talk to him, and she hoped that this wouldn't be a one off.

Finally, after waiting for an age and her stomach in knots, Bella was finally able to click the Skype icon. Hearing it launch, she waited for the page to fully load up, noticing she had a request to add Jasper to her contacts.

"Jasper Hale." Bella mused, "Learn something new every day." She had no idea what his last name was, it was never on his emails, nor had he ever told her.

Clicking on accept, her laptop began to buzz within seconds as Jasper's skype call came through. With her stomach doing flips and sweaty palms, she finally moved the cursor to accept his incoming call.

Jasper's face suddenly appeared on her screen, a smile gracing his lips with a head of blonde curly hair framing his face. Bella took in a sharp breath, shocked to be seeing the gorgeous man in front of her.

"Hi," He drawled softly.

* * *

 **AN:** _Aw, they've finally seen each other for the first time! Who's happy?_

 _A review would be great, and Merry Christmas to all!_


	10. Chapter 10

**AN:** _Hi! *waves like a mad person* Did everyone have a good christmas and new year? I know, it seems like a lifetime ago doesn't it?_

 _A big thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter, placed it on faves and alert. It makes me so happy to see people enjoying my work and getting your feedback on it._

 _A big thank you to Laura for doing her thing and making it pretty! Yeah, bet you can tell from my AN that grammar isn't my friend! Though, I took a grammar quiz on facebook the other day and it said I rocked at it...Yeah...I don't, but still lol_

 _Anyways, on with the chapter! See you at the bottom!_

* * *

Nottingham, England

Present day

November.

Bella stared at the man on her screen. Gorgeous blond curls, a beautiful array of honey blond, mixing to almost white blond on the ends; that looked so soft, like silk. His curls just touched around his jaw and under his ear. Jasper's lips were plump, a soft blush red colour that was pulled into a soft smile. His eyes were a strange golden colour that she had never seen before. They looked soft and inviting, and Bella couldn't believe this was the man she had been emailing.

But that couldn't be right, could it? The man in front of her, smiling softly, looked just like the man she had seen in her book. The Major that had gone missing in action over hundred years ago. The resemblance was uncanny. He looked just like the man in the picture, they even shared the same first name.

If Bella hadn't have known the man in the photo was from the American civil war, she would have thought it was the same man.

"Wow," Bella breathed, feeling her heart flutter slightly at the man in front of her.

"Is that how Brits greet each other, over there?" Jasper's drawl touched her ears, snapping her out of her daze as she registered the slight southern twang in his rich smooth voice.

"Sorry," Bella flustered, grabbing her book that was still open next to her. "You look just like him." She pointed out, picking up her book and thrusting an identical picture of him in front of the camera. "See?"

She watched as he chuckled, and shook his head slightly. The action causing his curls to break out in a striking display of blonds as the light caught it.

"Hm, yeah. Not the first time I've been told that." Jasper said, a smile coating his words.

"You share the same name, too," Bella said, and then felt stupid for adding that. He had just confessed that he had been told before that he looked like Major Jasper Whitlock and here she was stating the obvious. "Sorry."

"It's fine," he chuckled. "Do you remember that great great, possibly great uncle I told you about?"

"No shit!" Bella couldn't help but look a little closer at the screen and then back at the old photo. "You've even got the same hair."

Jasper laughed and touched a blond curl, eying it slightly. "Yeah, family curse. If it's shorter it's really curly. Longer is better."

"It suits you," Bella commented, smiling into her wine glass. "So, you disappeared…" Bella prompted, seeing a frown cross Jasper's forehead.

"Yeah," Jasper sighed, running a hand across his face. "Sorry, it wasn't you, but…" He trailed off.

Bella just stared at him, waiting for him to talk. This was his idea, he wanted to explain his disappearance to Bella, and she was determined she wasn't going to say anything to smooth this over. After all, she had already prompted him to start his explanation.

"Do you remember I said I've had a rough few years?"

"Yeah, you never really said much about it, but it was why you were doing not a lot at the moment." Bella shrugged.

"Okay," Jasper said. Bella saw his lips move but didn't hear anything.

She frowned, wondering if it was her speakers not working right, or a faulty connection, but she heard him move, so knew it wasn't that. Bella watched as he ran his thumbnail against his bottom lip, his eyes changing from the glint of happiness to something she couldn't place.

The minutes ticked by, and Bella continued to wait for him to say something more, something that was the real reason why he had blanked her. Soon, she saw his eyes leave the screen, casting downwards, as his head turned slightly.

Bella finished off her glass of wine, and poured herself another one, slowly growing more and more frustrated that she was still waiting for him continue. So far, this was turning out to be a disaster. Sure, the first few minutes had been good, those minutes of avoiding the topic at hand until Bella had pushed the subject. Maybe she should have just waited for him to start talking, but she had wanted to clear this first before losing sight of why they were skyping in the first place.

Looking at the clock, she noticed it had almost been three minutes since he had said anything, and her frustration was starting to turn into a more sour mood of her being pissed off.

"Jasper?" She prodded, trying to bring his attention back to her before she said enough was enough and ended the call.

"Sorry," Jasper sighed. "Thought this would be easier, but it's really not. It's a hell of a lot harder than I first thought."

"Look, you don't have to say anything. It's cool." Bella shrugged. "I'll leave you to it." She was giving him an out, thinking that he was now regretting this.

"No, Bella, don't go." Bella paused, hearing his voice a broken whisper. "I lost someone." Bella sat back in her chair, watching as he kept his eyes off the screen as he spoke. "She meant the world to me, and I've not been right since I lost her." Jasper paused. "You're the first female outside of my family that's I've interacted with since Alice passed."

"Wow." Bella murmured lowly, not wanting to speak too loudly. "So, you just ditched me because you lost someone? That's a bit harsh, don't you think? I thought I had pissed you off, thought I had crossed a line. You could have just said you need some time alone instead of blanking me like that!" By the time she had finished her rant, she was almost shouting at him.

Bella saw him flinch at the tongue lashing she was giving him, and it made her feel bad. Sure, she was mad at him, hell, he deserved this, but she should have kept her cool about it and not blown off at him.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have shouted at you."

"It's okay, I was expecting worse." Jasper shrugged, but kept his face down, avoiding looking at her.

"I guess it hurt me more than I thought," she offered. " So, you felt guilty for talking to me? Is that it?"

"Something like that." Finally, Jasper lifted his golden eyes to look at her and Bella's heart broke at the sight she saw. He looked so broken, so lost like his world suddenly stopped turning and his life was no longer worth living since he lost Alice. "Rose..she said something, it was stupid, but it hurt. It did its damage and I bolted. I'm so sorry for that. Sorry, I made you think you had offended me or upset. You had done neither."

"I'm sorry you lost someone, Jasper. You must have really loved her." Bella offered, not really sure what else to say to him.

"Thanks." Jasper smiled sadly at Bella. "I've missed talking to you."

"Oh yeah, because reading about me banging on about Nottingham history was oh so fun," Bella smirked as she heard him chuckle.

"You sold me the trip to the major oak. Next time I'm across the pond, I'm going."

"It's really anti-climatic, you'll be so disappointed." Bella rolled her eyes at Jasper.

"Okay, but you made it sound so exciting. How was it you describe it? Tree, big hole in the middle…"

"Metal fence," she said at the same time in as she laughed. "I've got my career all sorted for when I fail my course."

"Nah, you'll be fine. I see you hit ten thousand words. Congratulations." Jasper grinned showing deep dimples in his cheeks as he clapped. "So, I did peek at the doc."

"Oh shit, you didn't, did you?" Embarrassment flooded her as she realised he would have, more than likely seen what she had written about the man he happened to look identical too.

"Interesting theory you have, Bella," Jasper said, his voice giving nothing away. "You've figured out why I look so much like him? I did point it out a few minutes ago?"

"Well, you could be him for all I know," Bella said, causing Jasper to laugh. "Besides, you neither confirmed or denied."

Bella couldn't help but smile and marvel in his laugh. It was a beautiful sound, so rich and full of life, and again she felt her heart flutter at the sound of his laugh.

"That'll make me 172, not really plausible is it?" Jasper chuckled out.

"You could be, if so, tell me what face cream you're using. I gotta get me some!"

"It's in the genes darlin'." Bella felt herself swoon slightly at the sound of his southern accent and the word darlin'. "He happens to be the great-great something..." He smiled "...or another uncle."

"I figured that. It was hard going, but I managed to work it out all by my little self." Bella said proudly.

"That must have taken all your brain power, though. No wonder you're on the wine."

"Ah, I've missed your comebacks." Bella grinned, raising her glass to the camera. "You cause me to drink."

"You need no excuse."

"True."

"Back to your interesting theory," Jasper started, making Bella groan and fill with dread at what was sure to come. "You think he bolted and hid somewhere?"

"Well, yeah. Deserters happen in every war, it's not uncommon. And he was such a young lad, being a made a Major, who wouldn't want to bolt at first chance." Bella shrugged. "I don't mean any offence, though."

"None taken," he brushed off, but Bella could tell there was a slight bit of offence in his voice. "He never deserted the Confederacy. From what I know, he was very proud to go off to war and fight, proud to have been given the title of Major at such a young age. His military career was cut short, and looked to be very promising."

"But surely they would have found his body? A Major, that's gonna stand out in the crowd, isn't it? And it's not like the war back then is like wars of today. Weaponry was a lot different, it wasn't like you could get blown to pieces back then." Bella watched with a raised eyebrow as Jasper tapped his chin, seemingly turning her response over.

"I'll give you that. He wouldn't have been blown to pieces, and yes the officer's uniform would stand out, but..." Jasper rejoined with a smirk, "...you've missed something in all your research."

"And what's that's Mr smartie pants?" She smirked.

"He was in Texas, they dealt with a lot of Indians. He could have been injured and captured. If that was the case, then his body would have never been found." Jasper smirked as Bella frowned. She hadn't taken that into consideration when she wrote it. "Don't frown, as I said, it's an interesting theory, but now you have another one."

"Ah, shit!" Bella swore, "I didn't think of that."

"Of course not." He smirked. "That's why I have the better brain power."

"Better brain power? With those words, I bow to your greatness."

SPK

Bella woke with a start. Her heart pounding in her chest as her breaths came out in short, sharp pants. A light smear of sweat covered her as she chanted to herself it was just a dream.

Even though Bella was well aware that she had suffered a nightmare, she couldn't really pinpoint or remember what it was. All she could remember was that she felt trapped and scared, unable to move and get out from wherever she was. Glancing at the clock on the nightstand, Bella groaned and threw herself back on the bed, frustrated that it had just turned four am.

Heading downstair, Bella shivered as she realised the heating was once again acting up. Picking up her smokes, Bella lit up as she opened the back door, allowing the smoke to disappear into the night's sky.

Bella found this time peaceful. The odd car could be heard passing, but other than that, there wasn't much sound happening, even the birds weren't awake yet.

A smile danced on her lips as she thought that she might know of someone who was awake, who always seemed to be awake.

In the days since they had Skype'd, they had fallen back into their old ways of spending much of their time talking. They still exchanged the odd email, but they mostly did their talking over Skype. They had video chatted a few times and every time they had, Bella had found herself being completely taken by him.

If she wanted to admit it, she would confess that she fancied the pants off him and thought it sucked majorly that they lived at opposite ends of the pond. Though, she was somewhat happy they did, as she didn't want something like her trying to shag the living daylights out of him to get in the way of their friendship.

Flicking the end of her smoke, Bella locked the back door and headed back upstairs. She was awake now, the feeling of still feeling trapped not fully leaving her alone. Closing her door, she opened up her laptop and allowed it power up. Bella knew she could use this time to write more of her dissertation, but she knew if Jasper was online, she wouldn't really be doing much writing.

Finally, her old laptop had reached full speed, and she heard the sound of Skype signing her back in. Clicking on the icon, a smile crossed her lips as she saw Jasper's green dot next to his name. Clicking it, she brought up the message bar.

 **Bella:** _Hey, can't sleep :(_

It took only seconds before she saw Jasper typing his response to her. Bella had more than once wondered when he slept. Even though she knew they had a six hour time difference, it didn't really make sense that Jasper was always online whenever she was.

 **Jasper** : _Is it that you can't sleep, or are you just missing me?_

 **Bella:** _Shit, you got me there. ;)_

 _But no, I had a bad dream, so I figured I would come bug you for a while._

 **Jasper** : _Bug away, darlin', I ain't doing much._

 **Bella** : _You really are a walking girl's wet dream._

 _Hey, I got a question for you._

 **Jasper:** _Why thank you for the compliment, ma'am._

 _Shoot._

 **Bella:** _Why are your eyes gold?_

 _I noticed it when we Skyped, and I don't think I've ever seen that eye colour before on someone. Not that I walk around checking people's eyes or anything. They sorta remind me of cats eyes._

 **Jasper:** _Cats eyes? Nice…_

 _I can purr too._

 **Bella:** _No you can't._

 **Jasper** : _I can, it's all in the tongue action._

 **Bella:** _Get plenty of practice with that tongue, then?_

The moment Bella hit send, she wanted to slap herself for it, she was once again crossing those lines. With any luck, he wouldn't pick up on her flirtatious comment.

 **Jasper:** _Not for a long time. Though, I never got any complaints about my skills ;)_

 **Bella:** _Don't… *Groan*_

 **Jasper:** _Don't? You started it darlin', haha. Did you think I would miss your innuendo?_

 **Bella:** _Yes!_

 _It's late._

 _I'm not thinking straight._

 **Jasper:** _Liar._

 _I think you were thinking very straight when you said that._

 **Bella:** _You're not helping!_

 _I asked you a question._

 **Jasper:** _Yeah, about my skills… *Smirk*_

 **Bella:** _You're such an arse! LOL._

 **Jasper:** _Ass, darlin', it's ass._

 **Bella:** _No, it's arse. Again, learn how to use the language correctly. LOL_

 **Jasper:** _I use it so much better than you do. Just accept the fact my use of our language is better than yours and we won't keep having this problem._

 _But to answer your question. I don't know, it might be my diet that makes them gold._

 **Bella:** _Haha, your diet? Really?_

 **Jasper:** _I'm being serious. Everyone in the family has gold eyes. It's the diet where on that makes them gold._

 **Bella** : _Now I know you're just fucking with me._

 **Jasper:** _Am I? *smirk*_

 **Bella** : _Yes! It's impossible for a diet to change eye colour. It's not plausible._

 **Jasper:** _There's a lot in my life that's not really plausible, but happens to be true._

 _I noticed the last time we Skyped that you have a few piercings, is there one on your tongue?_

 **Bella:** _Yes!_

 _It hurt like a bitch when I had it done. My tongue swelled up and it I couldn't eat right for weeks._

 _Got one on my lip too, that didn't hurt so much. Just looked like I had been punched in the mouth for a few days._

 _I've got four in each ear and my belly button done. My dad blew a gasket over that one! I was 15 when I had it done. He's accepted them now. He's worse over the tats._

 **Jasper:** _Do you ever set the metal detectors off at the airport? Lol._

 **Bella:** _No, but if I ever did, I would expect you'd find it highly amusing._

 **Jasper:** _Of course I would. *Smirk*_

 _So, the tats? How much ink you got?_

 **Bella:** _A few._

 _Both shoulders, back of my neck, wrists, my foot. That killed! Never known pain like it._

 _You got any ink? I love ink._

 **Jasper:** _Nope. Would love some, but it's not feasible. What are your tats?_

 **Bella:** _Hate needles? It's not that bad you know. I hate injections, but getting ink done isn't anything like that._

 **Jasper:** _I don't mind needles, my skin is...Hm different?_

 **Bella** : _Different? Like sensitive or something? Is that why you're really pale?_

 **Jasper:** _It is why it's pale, and I guess sensitive is one way of putting it._

 _You were telling me about your tats?_

Bella frowned slightly at his quick brush off. Whatever was wrong with his skin, he clearly didn't want to tell her. But Bella couldn't help but feel there was more to it than it was sensitive, his skin had looked fine to her. Flawless in fact, very smooth, not a sign of any imperfections, it was just pale. If his skin was that different, then surely she would see something, wouldn't she?

 **Bella** : _Sorry, didn't mean to make you uncomfortable._

 **Jasper:** _S'kay. Wish I could tell you, but it's hard to explain and not many people understand it. Does that make sense?_

 **Bella** : _Yeah._

 _Okay, so I have wording on my neck and foot and wrist. A Chinese symbol on one shoulder and a rose on the other._

 _My foot says "I hope to see you there...on the other side."_

 **Jasper:** _Nice...meaningful too. You believe in life after death?_

 **Bella** : _Yeah, I believe there is something more. That the soul lives on. It's just a body that the soul lives in, and once that body dies, the soul moves on. Either to a new body or stays close to the ones it loves. A soul cannot die, just the machine it lives in._

 **Jasper:** _Wow._

 _I love how you look at life and death._

 **Bella** : _It's not what everyone believes, but it's what I believe in. Do you believe in life after death?_

 **Jasper:** _For people like you, Bella, yes. But for people like me? No. I'm cursed darlin'. When I die, I'll be burning in the pits of hell._

 **Bella:** _No you won't. Is there even such a thing as heaven and hell? I believe we are living in heaven and hell, it's how we choose to spend our time that defines us._

 _You're a good guy, Jasper. I doubt you'll be in any pits of hell._

 **Jasper:** _Thanks, but you don't really know me, what I've done, what I'm capable of. You're pure and beautiful, I haven't been that way in a long time._

 **Bella:** _You know I have no idea what you're saying, don't you?_

 **Jasper:** _I know, sorry._

 **Bella:** _You're a couple of fingers short of a kit kat aren't you? *smirks* Good job I don't mind crazy._

 **Jasper:** _Crazy is one word to describe things...But what is it they say? Pot, kettle, black?_

 **Bella:** _Are you trying to say I'm crazy?_

 **Jasper:** _Not trying too, I am :P_

 **Bella:** _I don't know you that well, and I don't know what you've done. But I know you lost someone and you will see them again, one day._

 **Jasper:** _I hope so._

 **Bella:** _How long ago did she die? Don't feel you have to tell me if you don't want to. Tell me to butt out by all means._

 **Jasper:** _Just turned five years ago. And not a day goes by when I don't think about her._

 **Bella:** _High school sweethearts?_

 **Jasper:** _Something like that, yeah._

 **Bella:** _You know, you'll find someone else. You're still young, with your whole life ahead of you. I know you're hurting now, but one day, you'll hurt a little less and find happiness again._

 **Jasper:** _Thank you._

 _Anyway, let's bypass this depressing stuff, and talk about something more fun._

 **Bella:** _I break up uni in a few weeks time! Yes! Let the drinking commence!_

 **Jasper:** _LMAO! Love how you're acting all innocent like you've not been drinking in ages and are saving yourself._

 **Bella:** _I don't know why I talk to you! All you do is make out I'm an alcoholic._

 **Jasper:** _No making out needed, I know you are :)_

 _Plus, you talk to me because you know I feel sorry for you. With your lack of understanding English words, someone needs to help ya._

 **Bella:** _*Middle finger* you're an arse! A hot looking arse, though._

 **Jasper:** _Arse? You can't call my ass, darlin', you've never seen it. ;)_

 **Bella:** _Don't need too, bet it's mighty fine._

 _You got plans for Christmas?_

Bella quickly typed before Jasper could respond to her comment. She needed to stop it, yet she found herself unable to. The words or letters just seemed to flow from her fingers with little or no thought. It didn't help that Jasper seemed to be reacting back, flirting with her like she was with him.

She needed to engage her brain a little more and stop it. Bella worried that sooner or later, she would say too much, push her flirting too far and destroy their friendship. That was the last thing she wanted. Her friendship with Jasper was quickly becoming one her closest. Which, in itself, was strange.

They lived so far apart, and in reality, they would never see one another, and would only ever talk as they were doing. Yet, she couldn't deny that he was a good friend. Bella felt like she could tell him anything, no matter what that was, and he wouldn't laugh at her. She was pretty certain that he would listen to whatever she had to say and give her good advice. He seemed to older than his years, much older than them.

Of course, Bella had heard of people say the phrase 'old head on young shoulders', hell, she had been told that herself before, but with Jasper? It was different. It really was like the phrase had been created just for him.

 **Jasper:** _Not much, I don't think. You?_

 **Bella:** _Family stuff, really. You know, being dragged to see aunties and uncles, grandparents that sorta shit. The stuff you need copious amounts of alcohol for. I've still got shit loads of gifts to buy, it never seems to end. My dad is super easy to buy for, bottle of whisky and he's happy. It's the same every year! My mum? Fucked if I know!_

 **Jasper:** _Ah, the joys of Christmas shopping!_

 _You never heard of online shopping? Saves the crowd's and you can do it all from the comfort of your own home!_

 **Bella:** _Really? I never knew that you could do online shopping….Just where have I been?_

 **Jasper:** _HAHAHA._

 _I'm trying to help, Bella. If you don't want it….._

 **Bella:** _I do!_

 _Seriously, I'll end up with some shit gift for her, or perfume. It'll be one or the other, or I could go for daughter of the year and buy her the shit gift and the perfume!_

 **Jasper:** _There you go, that's mama sorted._

 _What are you hoping for Christmas? Anything nice?_

 **Bella:** _Dunno, you know? When I was a kid, I used to have these massive long lists, just like every kid. Going through the local Argos book, circling all the toys. You know the drill, I'm sure you had many a list, just like me. :)_

 _Would love a new pair of cowboy boots! But shit, I don't think the 'rents will go for that one. My dad turned so many shades of red when he bought me a pair for my birthday. It's such a bitch to get 'em through here._

 _You hoping for anything nice?_

 **Jasper:** _Surely there's a shop over there that gets them imported? I find it hard to believe that you have to order them from here to get them._

 **Bella:** _Yeah, but the selection is so shit! Not really found anywhere in Nottingham that has a good selection, and online UK stores only have a few. Unlike the American sites, so yeah, I need to order online and have them shipped! Hell, I ever make it over there, I am buying a fuck ton of those bad boys!_

 **Jasper:** _Save the import fee?_

 **Bella:** _You know it!_

 _So, you hoping for anything nice from Santa?_

 **Jasper:** _Nah, not really into Christmas anymore. Alice was, she loved the whole notion of it, well, she loved spending money and shopping, so Christmas was always a win-win for her._

 **Bella:** _Shit, Jasper, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to stir up old wounds._

 **Jasper:** _Don't worry._

But that was the thing, she did worry. Bella worried every time she placed her foot in that fuck hole without thinking. She forgot that this man was hurting, that he had been consumed with guilt by just speaking to her, and had high-tailed it. Bella didn't want that to happen again, and talking to him about Christmas, what he was doing, what he hoped to get? Well, that was just a sure fire way to open that wound again.

Bella groaned and slapped her forehead. "You're meant to be intelligent, not a fucking dumb dumb!"

She cursed herself, looking at the screen and seeing Jasper hadn't said anything else other than don't worry, which was easier said than done.

 **Bella:** _Jasper?_

 **Jasper:** _Yeah, darlin'?_

 **Bella:** _You okay?_

 **Jasper** : _I'm not gonna lie._

 _It's hard this time of year, but I'm okay. Gotta keep pushing forward, you know? Besides, I'm doing a lot a better now I'm talking to you._

 **Bella:** _Glad I can help._

* * *

 ** _AN:_** _Hmm, Jasper certainly danced around the truth there, didn't he?_

 _If you would be so kind and drop a review, that would be fab, thanks!_


	11. Chapter 11

**AN:** _Hi there! A massive thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter, placed it on alert and faced it. It means a great deal to me, to know that people are reading and enjoying this._

 _A big thank you to Laura for doing her thing and checking this over so it not only makes sense, but is readable._

 _Okay, enjoy! I'll see you at the bottom!_

* * *

Williston, North Dakota, America.

Present day

December

The weeks passed Jasper by quickly. His days were now filled with Skype calls, chats and still the odd email, with Bella. He marvelled at how quickly time was slipping by him; when it felt as though the last five years had dragged by unbelievably slow. Part of him couldn't help but wonder where had Bella been all this time. The years he spent looking for the Major that sparkled, almost completely giving up all hope that she even existed, and that Alice had put him on a wild goose chase.

' _Alice…_ ' His wife's name floated around his head as he sighed, wondering if she saw Bella in her vision, or just knew that this would help heal him. He couldn't help but wonder if Alice knew just how important Bella would become in his life.

He felt like he was gaining another chance at some form of happiness. That somehow, some way, someone like him could find happiness again; even if she did live on the other side of the world.

To think, he had almost thrown all that away because of Rose. Jasper realised he had been foolish to listen to her, to allow her jealousy to cloud his decisions, his life. He had lost out the most that day that seemed like a lifetime ago. He suffered and still continued to suffer to this day. Not a day went past when he didn't think of Alice and their life that they once had together. But, he had to keep pushing forward, no matter how painful it was.

And with Bella, things were just that little less painful.

She was beautiful, Jasper couldn't deny that. The first time he had seen her on the screen, he had been shocked at just how beautiful she was. Confident in her own skin, to be carefree and not think what others thought. He found himself unable to stop flirting back with her. Secretly, he loved flirting with her. It came so easily, like he didn't have to think, just like how they were with each other.

It was all so natural and despite the fact that he fancied her, she was quickly becoming his best friend.

Jasper found himself unwilling to lie to her, though he knew he had too. He hated that he couldn't be completely truthful with her and when he was, he had to cover it so she thought he was slightly off his rocker.

Never before had he hated the law as much as he did when talking to Bella. He wanted her to know what he was, who he had been. To know if she would still continue to talk to him if she knew the truth.

He concluded that if she knew the real truth, she wouldn't give him the time of day, so maybe the odd lie and twisting of truth was the best way forward. The chances of him ever seeing her were slim. Though he would love to actually meet her, to sit down face to face and talk to her. To do things together, things she had told him about her hometown. But he knew he couldn't, as much as he wanted too, he had to stay where he was.

Jasper knew deep down, that if he ever went to see her, he would drag her into his world. A dangerous world that wasn't fair to bring her into. He wouldn't be able to leave her, to allow her to continue her human life if he ever met her.

More than once he had questioned himself about the ocean between them. If that wasn't there if they lived in the same country, would he still stay away?

The good side of him wanted to say yes. To believe that he could stay away from her if the temptation was closer to home. But his dark side disagreed.

Vampires were selfish creatures by design, not wanting to share, and keeping everything for themselves. It was one of the reasons their houses were so big. Sure, he knew the gossip that floated around the towns that the family took up residence in. People often thought they were flashing the cash, showing off at the town's people over what they could afford. That wasn't the case, it was a necessity to have their homes this big.

They needed the space, to be able to have what they wanted without feeling as though they had to share. This space allowed them to not to feel threatened by another imposing vampire, that and they were territorial.

If they were kept in too much of a small space for long periods of time, fights would break out, no matter how close the family thought they were. Space was a vital necessity for any coven that took up a permanent home.

Jasper had never really been more thankful that he lived in the cabin. He didn't have to share Bella with anyone. He knew that should he still be in the main house, his skype chats with Bella wouldn't be private. Emmett would be there, he was certain of that; and while he knew him and Bella would get on great, he didn't want them to meet, at all. Though he knew at some point Emmett would appear during one of their skyping chats, his brother had made it painfully clear he wanted to know who had grabbed his attention.

It was something he was both looking forward to and dreading at the same time.

Heading over to the main house, he knew that only Esme was there. The rest had carted themselves off to school, and Carlisle was more than likely at work. He was glad for this, glad that when he got there it would just be him and Esme. Since the fall out with Rose, he hadn't spoken to her.

There was a pain that rippled through him when he thought of Rose. Jasper missed his sister. Missed their chats that they had come to have over the last five years. They had grown so close during that time, that to not be talking to her pained him. But he couldn't allow her to spew her poison on this. His relationship with Bella meant the world to him, and if his sister couldn't get over the fact that he had found someone else to talk to, then it was her problem, not his.

Jealousy was the root of her attitude. Once again, it all boiled down to being selfish. Rose viewed him as her toy, her plaything, and didn't like that someone else was taking up his attention more than she was. He knew she held the act of protection up, and while it was true, he knew she was jealous too.

Rose would never admit it, not to a living soul, or dead one for that matter; and he knew that it was easier for her to claim protection then allow the real reason to be seen.

While it all hurt, he had to admire her protection. Jasper knew that Rose wanted to keep her brother safe, that she feared another blow would cause him to walk into the fire. It frightened her just how much of an impact Bella had created in his life.

It was no secret in the family just how protective Rose could be. He had seen her react to things many times over the years, but how she had been with him was a new level of protection he had never witnessed. Didn't she at least want him to be happy? Even if that happiness came in the form of a woman who lived in another country?

Again, it tied back to her selfishness, and now her selfishness had not only caused him pain but her too.

"Esme?" Jasper called, sensing her in the garden, but not yet seeing her.

He didn't need to call out, he could easily find her if he wanted too, but Jasper liked to give Esme the heads up that he was there; not invading her own time.

"Over here," she called, her hand sticking up over bushes of flowers and roses.

Making his way to her, he sat down on the green grass, watching his adoptive mother tend to her garden. The feel of smooth grass coated and tickled his palm as he ran his hand over the vibrant green shards. A smile crossed his lips as he took in just how green and perfect this grass was. Not a single weed could be found on the grass, and all of it was the same colour. Esme really did have green fingers, and she had a garden to make any garden lover envious off.

"What brings that smile?" Esme asked, her eyes studying Jasper for a moment. "Bella, perhaps?"

"Just thinking how lovely the garden looks," he shrugged.

"Why thank you, Jasper. Though, I think your happiness right now has more to do with a certain young lady than my garden." Esme sat back on her legs, her hands wiping the soil on her thighs. "What's she like?"

Unable to stop it, he smiled widely at her, feeling generally happy to tell her all about Bella. He knew Esme wouldn't act like Rose, she wouldn't even hold a grudge that she was human. To her, Bella was making her son happy, and that's all that mattered.

"Great," he answered, "A light in my darkness."

"I'm happy you've found her, you deserve some happiness," Esme mused, before going back to here weeding. "She makes you smile, something we've not seen in a long time, since, well…." Esme trailed off.

Jasper felt the stab of pain as Esme's emotions hit him. Esme still hurt over the daughter she had lost, no matter how much time transpired, or what happened, Alice would always hold a place dear in Esme's heart, much like she would in his. It didn't seem to matter much to Esme that they weren't her children; that he, in fact, was a Major in the Confederate army and was classed a man when he was turned. To her, they were hers, and she would mourn Alice until Esme no longer walked this earth.

"I know," he offered gently, not wanting to set Esme off into tearless sobs. "I told her about Alice."

"You did?" Esme beamed at him, her eyes conveying the love she felt.

"Yes, well, I gave her the watered down version of the truth, but yes, she knows I lost Alice. It felt good to talk to her about Alice," he sighed, "She become a big part of my life, Esme. Something I didn't think would happen when I answered her cry for help."

"Ah, that civil war dissertation?" she asked. "How is it coming along? Is she picking your head for all that wonderful knowledge you have? She's got the best person helping her."

"You know she doesn't really need my help, she got it pretty much nailed." Jasper moved towards one of Esme's rose bushes and began pulling off the dead heads. "The odd thing I inject into her dissertation, but other than that, she's doing it all on her own. Though, and I should have expected it, considering what she's studying…" He trailed off, a frown marring his forehead.

"She's found a picture of you?" Jasper just nodded. "Worried she might figure out that him in the picture is you and not some distant relative?"

"Yes," he growled lowly. "I'm not about to confess who or what I am, but…" He stopped, ripping another dead head off the bush. "She smart, what if she figures it out?"

"I doubt she will," Esme tried to soothe. "Just relax and enjoy this new found friendship you two have. What will be will be."

"Yeah, I guess." He shrugged. "How've things been this side?"

"If you are wondering how Rose is, she misses you, Jasper." He looked away, not wanting to meet Esme's pleading eye for him and Rose to sort out their differences. "I know she upset you, but.."

"But nothing, Esme. I'm a grown man, capable of making my own decisions. It might be shocking, but I could even wipe my own ass before I was turned." He snapped out at her. "Sorry," he replied frustrated, "I shouldn't have snapped at you."

"You're frustrated, I understand that. But surely you of all people should know that she only has your best interests at heart." Esme stood and moved towards Jasper. "She doesn't want to see you get hurt."

"She doesn't want to share me." He corrected her. "She's jealous."

"That maybe so, but she does love you." Esme's hand came to rest on top of his as he went to snap off yet another head. "Alice always said you should be mindful of the thorns on a rose."

SPK

"Can't you just talk to her?" Emmett whined in his ear while they ran through the forest. "She's hurt."

Try as he might, he couldn't stop the snort from leaving him. Jasper was getting sick of hearing it, sick of hearing how upset she was over their fall out. He knew that Emmett would, at some point, talk to him about his mate. It was only a matter of time until he made his move, as Emmett wasn't known for holding things in.

He got it, he truly did. Emmett was just looking out for his mate, trying to soothe the heartache and pain she was feeling. It wasn't as though he could hold that against his brother, he knew he would do the same thing if Alice was still there. The last thing any mated male wanted to see, was their mate upset and hurting.

Still, it didn't stop the thought that everyone was feeling sorry for his sister when she had caused this rift between them. It was her doing, her overbearing protective nature, her jealousy, that had caused them to fall out like this. Didn't anyone realise this? Was it only him that noticed it was all her doing and not his?

All he had done was begin talking to Bella, someone who lived on the other side of the world to him. Wasn't he allowed that happiness? Allowed to have some light in his dark world?

Did they all think Bella would replace Alice?

The thought alone was stupid. No one would ever replace Alice to him. Alice was and always would be his saviour, the woman who brought him out of hell and give him a better life. Someone who loved him unconditionally, accepted all his faults and flaws, the horrors he had created, the person he was deep down, always lurking underneath the surface.

He may like Bella, think she was beautiful, but she would never be Alice.

And he didn't want her to be.

"She caused it, Em." It came out harsh, more a growl than anything else. "Everyone feels sorry for her. I know she's your mate and all, but Rose was bang out of line."

"I'm not saying she wasn't, but dude, you two were so close," Emmett shrugged. "I'm not against you finding a new piece of ass to tap, bu-"

Jasper snapped, grabbing his brother and pinning him to the forest floor. Eyes black, a growl rattled in his chest as he took in Emmett's shocked expression, his brain trying to catch up with what had just transpired.

"Don't you fucking dare," he growled out, low and deadly. "She isn't a piece of meat for you to disrespect."

He could feel himself slipping, losing ground fast of his vampire, falling back into a mindset he hadn't been in for a hell of a long time. Jasper could feel his muscles twitching, his fingers crawling and digging into the flesh of his brother, waiting, wanting, to rip him apart.

A smirk crossed his lips, sadistic and evil as a million thoughts raced through his mind, plotting how to dispose of his brother. And judging by the look on Emmett's face, he knew that Jasper's vampire, the man who had been feared, had come out to play.

"I didn't mean anything by it," Emmett pleaded, "You know I didn't."

Closing his eyes, he pushed Emmett further into the dirt before springing back and away from Emmett. Sitting on the ground, he willed himself to calm down, he was due to skype with Bella soon and the last thing he wanted was to not be in control of his vampire when they spoke.

Deep down he knew Emmett didn't mean any disrespect, that it was just his way of saying things, but still, it had set him off. He wasn't even really sure why it had, why he had reacted the way he did over Bella. Maybe it was all getting too much for him.

How he was trying to live his life, but feeling as though his family was suffocating him, wanting to pass their judgement on his actions.

' _Maybe I need to go away for a while,_ ' he thought with a heavy sigh.

It wasn't like he didn't want to be with the family anymore because he did. He still loved them, all of them, even Rose, but it was beginning to feel as though it was him and them. Despite how much he heard from others in the family that they were happy as long as he was happy, he knew that they all talked about him behind his back. All passed a judgement that he wasn't meant to hear.

Jasper always knew when these "talks" had taken place. They didn't act any different when he walked in, but their emotions were off. It always took a while for those emotions to simmer down and go back to their normal flow. He never said he knew, and they never gave any indication that they had been talking, but he wasn't stupid and it was slowly suffocating him.

"Jazz, man," he heard Emmett sigh, "I'm sorry,"

"Sorry for what Em?" he breathed, his eyes falling closed as the weak rays of sun began to filter through the treetops. "I know you meant nothing by it, it's just…. I don't know, Emmett, I really don't. I can't explain my actions."

"I'm no Carlisle," his brother stated, dropping down on the ground next to him, "But you can talk to me."

"You're right, you are no Carlisle." Jasper snorted.

"I'm better looking for one," Emmett said causing Jasper to shake his head. "Can I meet her?"

"Why?" he asked, his eyebrows pulling together, trying to work out what Emmett's motive was. "So you can pass it on to Rose and then she can pass her judgement?"

"Dude, come on, don't slate my mate off like that," Jasper noted the slight growl in Emmett's tone that made him snicker.

"But it's true, though, I let you meet Bella and you'll tell Rose. I really don't need her giving me her thoughts on it," he said. "You can't keep anything to yourself, Emmett."

"Hand on none beating heart, I will not tell Rose." Jasper couldn't help but chuckle as he saw Emmett place his hand on his heart. "Shall I give you a solemn vow too?"

"I'll pass, thanks." Jasper mused, glancing down at his watch. He could feel Emmett's excitement brewing, getting stronger and stronger as his brother began to fidget.

Though he didn't want to share his time with Bella with anyone else, he couldn't deny the fact that he wanted to know how they would get on. He always thought they would, and he was pretty certain that it would be fun, but could he let Emmett come this one time? Allow him to see Bella and him not be there every time they skyped?

Looking at his brother, who was trying his best to give him his puppy dog eyes, he sighed in defeat.

"Just this once, Em."

"Yes!" Emmett boomed, springing to his feet. "Let's go!"

SPK

"Come on! Call her already," Emmett whined. Jasper had taken his time, purposely winding Emmett up by delaying the call. "Fuck this!"

Jasper chuckled, amazed that Emmett had held out this long before he took matters into his own hands, and called Bella himself. He had thought that Emmett would have done it the moment they stepped foot inside his cabin, but Emmett had surprised him by managing to hold it in; but only just.

The sound of the ringing tone drilled through the bedroom, as Emmett practically bounced in his seat. Jasper heard the call connect, the sound of Bella's music blaring through the laptop speakers for a mere second before she turned it down.

"Hey, Jas...Wait, you're not Jasper." Bella said.

"God no!" Emmett boomed. "I'm his better looking, sexy as hell brother, Emmett." Jasper snickered, seeing Emmett wiggle his eyebrows at Bella.

"Better looking? Sexy as hell?" Bella mused. "That's debatable."

"He wishes he looked like me," Emmett smirked.

"I'm sure he could if he wanted too." Jasper saw an evil smirk cross her lips. "How much roids do you have to pump into you to achieve that look?"

"It's all natural." Emmett flexed his biceps. "See, I'm all natural, and all amazing."

"Hey Bella," Jasper drawled, leaning over Emmett's shoulder. "You off out?"

"Yeah, last night of the year, baby! It's gonna be messy!" He couldn't help but smile as he watched her take a shot of something, screwing her face up at the taste. "Ugh! That's vile."

"Why drink it, if it's vile?" Jasper chuckled, "Oh, wait I know. You're an alcoholic." He smirked, feeling Emmett's growing frustration at not getting to talk to Bella all by himself.

"Finger, cowboy."

"This is beautiful, but you have a chance to talk to me. You can talk to him, later." Emmett pouted. "So, Bella from England. What's it like over there? Do you know the Queen?"

Jasper rolled his eyes at Emmett's question, knowing that he was being serious on some level when he asked Bella that. He wanted to interject, to tell Emmett not to be so stupid, but he wanted to know what remark Bella would give his brother.

"The Queen? We're tight," Bella replied, "Go round every Thursday for my tea."

"Shit, really?" Emmett asked, shocked. Jasper had to fight down the laugh that wanted to escape him, knowing his brother had brought into what Bella had just told him.

"No, course not," she smiled, "Though, I once met one of her daughters... Ann, I think, or it could be Margaret…. Can't remember which." Bella shrugged.

"Do you fancy Harry?" Emmett asked, "I know loads of girls that fancy the ginger one."

"You do not," Jasper cut in, "ignore him, Bella."

"Okay, I don't, but when William married that chick, one of the news reporters were asking people, and they were all getting hot for him," Emmett replied. "Though, that chicks sister ass looked great in the dress."

"You mean Pippa, and the chick is Kate." Bella rolled her eyes, "So you watched the wedding, then?"

"Emmett's a big softie," Jasper smirked. "He got all emotional when it was on."

"I did not," Emmett replied, giving Jasper a push. "The world watch it."

"Yeah, much like the world watched your new president. Just so you know, trump means fart here." Bella chuckled. "I bet all the boys in the house of parliament giggle like girls when they hear his name."

"Dude! Does it really?"

"Yeah, hey, if he ever gets shot at, his bodyguards will shout Donald duck!" Bella laughed again as Emmett boomed. "I'll be here all week, people."

"What the hell?" Rose's voice suddenly called through the cabin.

Jasper noted her emotions were quickly spiraling out of control. Anger, hate, jealousy and betrayal slammed into the empath, causing him to grimace. His eyes narrowed at his sister, a growl threatening to escape his throat. Somehow he managed not to let out his furious growl, not wanting to alarm Bella.

"You're chatting to her?" Rose spat, a long finger pointing at the screen.

"Just what do you think you're doing?" Jasper seethed, coming in front of Rose. "Get fucking out!"

"Dude, don't talk to her like that," Emmett stated firmly, causing Jasper to chuckle darkly.

"She's taken my brother and now is moving in on my mate?" Rose accused. "I came here to talk to you and I find you all talking to her?"

"Jealous?" Jasper taunted. "Is that why you came barging in here?"

"You're fucking stupid," Rose spat at her brother. "Remember your wife? Alice?"

A vicious growl tore through Jasper's throat as his sister spoke. His body dropped into a low crouch, ready to pounce on her if she said another word to him about Bella or his dead wife.

"You need to cool it, Rosie," Emmett stated, his joyous nature disappearing. "I'm just chatting to Bella, come meet her, she's awesome."

"I'll pass," Rose snapped. "She looks like a little rabid whore."

Jasper felt his muscles lock in place, readying himself even more to attack his sister. It was something that he really didn't want to do, even more so with her mate sitting in the same room, but unless she left in the next few seconds, he wouldn't be accountable for his actions.

Somewhere, in the back of his mind, he registered that Bella was still on the screen. The call still connected and having just witnessed and heard what had transpired. He moved to the laptop, spitting out an "I'll call you back," before slamming the lid closed, not giving Bella time to reply.

"Get out, get fucking out now before I do something I won't regret." He growled, "How fucking dare you?"

"How dare I?" Rose said in a shocked tone. "She's not content on…"

"Rose!" Emmett shouted, standing quickly and going to Rose, only just managing to stop Jasper. "Don't bro, I'll deal with her."

"Get her out, Emmett." He seethed, his anger climbing higher and higher as he looked at her with disgust. "You're dead to me."

SPK

Emmett dragged his mate outside, growling under his breath at what had just transpired. He had known that Rose could be nasty, that she held some sort of grudge against Bella for the new found relationship with Jasper. But this? This just wasn't adding up to him. She seemed so jealous, so possessive.

"What the fuck, Rosie!" Emmett growled, letting go of her arm.

He watched her fold her arms over her chest, her head down, refusing to look at him. It wasn't often that he asserted dominance in their relationship, choosing to allow his mate to have a free run. He was too carefree and just wanted his mate to be happy. Sure, he knew that he was looked upon as weak for it, often on the back end of her tongue lashing, but he didn't mind, he was happy, they were happy.

"Answer me!" He demanded, his hand taking hold of her chin and forcing her to look at him. "You're acting as though he's your mate and she's moving in on your man."

"I don't like her, she'll hurt him, Em." Rose spat, yanking her head out his grasp. "Can't you see that? And yet you're in there, encouraging it!"

"I see our brother happy!" Emmett paced, shooting a look at his mate, "He's a grown man, capable of making his own choices in life. If he wants to chat to a chick on the other side of the world, we should be happy for him."

"And what if he leaves us for her? Then what?" Rose screamed. "Have you thought about that? The danger she could impose on us all?"

"That's it, isn't it," Emmett said, looking as though a light bulb had gone off in his head. "You're jealous because she's taken him away from you."

"You don't understand!" She cried, turning herself away from him. "It's been me he's come to all these years since Alice passed. Me that was his comfort, his best friend and now I don't get a look in because he's found her."

"Rose…" Emmett sighed, running a hand through his locks. "He's not yours to protect."

"He is!" she shot back. "He'll make a foolish mistake, and then what? He won't handle that pain again, or anything like that pain. He'll off himself, Em. I know he will."

"And how do you know she's gonna hurt him?" He pressed. "You don't, you're babying him for your own personal reasons."

"She's human, Emmett," she spat in a whisper, "He's not. Think about it."

"Jesus, Rosie!" Emmett looked at her like she had grown another head. He wasn't as clued in on things and acted stupid at times, but he wasn't this stupid. "She lives in England, you're acting as though she lived down the block!"

"And? Do you think that makes a difference?" She challenged.

"Yes!" He argued. "You don't even know that he will go and see her. They may just stay friends, but if he does and he chooses her, then we should be happy."

"And she gives up her human life. For what, for animal blood? For being stuck the way we are, never changing, never moving while the world does?" He could see the venom tears that would never fall filling her eyes. "Never being able to have children?"

"Rosie…." Unable to stop himself he pulled her into a hug; Running his hand up and down her back. "If that's the decision they make, that's the decision we stand by. But you're rushing ahead of yourself. They may never move past being friends."

"You don't know that," she whispered into his chest.

"And neither do you." He kissed the top of her head, "Lay off this, just be happy for him."

* * *

 **AN:** _So, Rose. You know, she never started off as such a bitch in this, but like with all best laid plans, they don't go to plan. Lol. She's just a tiny bit jealous isn't she? Damn!_

 _Anyway, please leave a review if you would be so kind. The next chapter should, all being well, be up next week sometime._


	12. Chapter 12

**AN/** _Hi there! It's been a while hasn't it? So, I said a week for the next update, and that didn't happen. Well, after watching the last chapter crash and burn, I lost my mojo to write it. It's hard to find the will to write when it tanks. This story wasn't something I thought would tank, so it stung to see it my last chapter flop. But, never mind. You read you read, you don't you don't. Simples._

 _A big thank you to Laura, who ran her eyes over this for me and gave me the encouragement to write this chapter._

 _I hope you guys enjoy it. See you at the bottom._

* * *

Nottingham, England

December

Present day.

Bella groaned and pushed her pounding head further into her pillow, regretting all that she consumed last night and the lack of sleep she had obtained. She had been drunk, very drunk in fact. What had transpired with her call with Jasper, what she had witnessed, had led her to get completely and utterly shit faced.

She had witnessed things that she doubted to be true, though she knew what she saw. The noises she heard, that growl. A deafening sound that scared her to her core. Whatever it was, was unlike anything she had ever heard before in her life. She was almost certain the sound had come from Jasper.

It had been hard to see everything, hard to pinpoint who made what noise, but she was willing to bet money on the fact that it was Jasper who growled. That, coupled with the fact that she had seen him drop low, just making him out behind Emmett's large form, made her almost completely certain it came from him.

But what was he?

What were they?

She saw the same coloured eyes that Jasper had, on his brother too. She couldn't be completely sure if his sister shared the same colour, though, but hadn't he said all the family has the same colour eyes? That it was due to their diet?

" _There's a lot in my life that's not really plausible, but happens to be true."_ Jasper had said that to her on one of their very first chats. Was he hinting at something? At the time Bella had pushed it away, thought the guy was slightly off his rocker with his comment, but now? Now, she wasn't so sure.

His eyes had changed colour, and not just going to a deeper shade of gold. They had gone black. How was that even possible? Sure, she had seen enough pill heads in the student clubs, to know when someone was piled up. How their pupils would dilate to such an extent that only the very outer rim of the iris could be seen. But Jasper wasn't on anything. They were gold, to begin with, then suddenly black when his sister had shown up, or what seemed to be when his sister showed up.

She couldn't be completely certain when they had changed, as he hadn't been that close to the camera. But when he had ended the call with her, they were black. Jet black, not even a slight hint of gold had remained.

Even when she had spoken to him when she arrived home, she had noted his eyes were no longer a rich gold, but instead a dark caramel.

She felt like she was going crazy, or most certainly would seem crazy if she asked him what he was. Bella could just picture how that would sound. _'So, um, the other night, I heard you growl, like really growl and you acted really strange. And you dropped like you were readying yourself to pounce and your eyes were black. So, um, what are you?'_

Even now, in the cold light of day, that sounded crazy, even to her. She wasn't about to make herself look like a complete fool and actually ask him that. After all, that would make her look like a complete and utter looney. Ready to be carried off to the local looney bin, with nicely padded walls and wonderful straight jackets.

' _Maybe I could google it?'_ Bella thought but quickly dismissed it. She doubted that the google search engine would come up with anything great if she typed in what she had seen. And knowing her luck, it would be flagged and the men in white coats would turn up.

She had been drinking when Jasper had called. A lot of alcohol had been consumed, and she could have easily misinterpreted what she thought she heard and saw. A lot was happening, with raised tempers, it would be easy to misinterpret something, think you saw something that wasn't there. And she had almost convinced herself; just almost.

But a little voice in the back of her mind told her that she knew better. She knew what she had seen, what she had heard.

Jasper wasn't all that he made out to be. She knew that, she believed that to be true. The question was, what was he hiding in the closet?

Jasper had been tense when they first spoke, on edge somewhat, and she could tell he was upset. There was an unmistakable edge to his voice, a hardened look in his eye. Even via the screen, she had noticed that he just screamed not to mess with him; that he was dangerous. Bella was sure that if she had been in the same room as him, she would have been just slightly scared.

" _Remember your wife, Alice?"_ She had heard it as clear as day when his sister said it.

' _Wife.'_

That one word had gone around and around her head all night as she took shot after shot of whatever was on offer. She had tried to work it out, he was the same age as her, and Alice had been dead for five years. It made no sense to her. How could he have been married to her at such a young age?

" _We always planned to get married, not straight away, but we knew what we wanted. When the accident happened, when we knew she wouldn't make it, we wed just before she passed away."_

Bella had broken down and sobbed when he told her. She thought it was romantic, and a true show of love to fulfill Alice's last request. She had wanted nothing more than to hug him senseless when he confessed. It had made her realise that while they had been young, they knew they were in love and wanted that one thing with each other.

Part of her wondered if she would ever find love like that. That type of love that happens once in a lifetime, and only if you're very lucky.

' _He still is in love with her,'_ Bella sighed at that thought.

She had known that before last night, known the first time he had ever spoken about Alice. The love he held for his deceased wife was evident in the way he spoke her name, the look he got in his eyes, how his voice always softened. Last night was no different. When he had told her how they had gotten married, she saw it, and it broke her.

It hurt her to know that his sister had thrown his dead wife at him the way she had. To remind him that he wed her, the eve before she died. Bella knew she could be nasty with her tongue at times, but even she would never go that low, and to a family member too? No, there were lines you didn't cross.

How could his sister, someone who claimed to love him, do that to him? It wasn't the first time she had done it to him either. It had been her doing that had caused Jasper to disappear on her, and she had worried that the same thing would happen this time. She was more than a little happy when he emailed her while she had been out, and subsequently exchanged phone numbers.

Bella knew that she wanted nothing more than to slap the stupid bitch silly for hurting him. He was amazing, she thought. Kind and caring, humorous and smart. To her, he was the loveliest guy she had ever met, and she didn't want anyone to hurt him or upset him like that. The poor guy had suffered so much and was still standing, a true test of his character and strength.

Grabbing her phone, she pulled up Jasper's number _; Morning, I'm all bright eyed and bushy tailed this morning. How you feeling, Jay? X_

Hitting send, Bella dragged herself out of her bed and laughed when she caught sight of herself. There was nothing bright eyed and bushy tailed about her this morning. Her hair looked like she had been dragged through a hedge backwards. It closely resembled a bird's nest at certain points. Her eyes looked red, with the remains of last nights make up still surrounding her face.

Opening her door, she made quick work getting to the kitchen with one thought in mind; coffee. She knew she needed copious amounts of the hot, wonderful thing that was coffee.

An IV, filled with coffee direct to her vein would be amazing. Why wasn't that on the market yet?

"Please have milk, please have milk," she chanted to herself as she opened the fridge door.

A squeal of delight almost left her, and she would have squealed and jumped up and down if she hadn't have been feeling as though she was dying. Flicking the kettle on, she made quick work of sorting out her coffee, just as she heard Emma groan as she slid onto the stool in the kitchen.

"I think I'm dying!" Emma groaned, pulling on her sunglasses. "Where did you disappear to? I know it wasn't with Craig, he was looking for you." Emma smirked. "I heard voices too, so where is he?"

Bella laughed before taking a sip of her coffee and lighting up a smoke. Leaning her head against the door frame, she looked at Emma, who had an eyebrow raised at her in question.

"I was talking to Jasper," she replied, taking another long pull on her smoke. "That's who you heard."

"Ah, so you ditched us to go talk to him?" Emma asked, nicking one of her smokes. "Is he like you're boyfriend? Have you become one of those people who get into a relationship online?"

"Shut up," Bella laughed, "It's nothing like that, we're just friends."

"Bet you'd shag his brains out, given half the chance though, wouldn't you?" She felt her cheeks flame red at Emma's statement. "And by that colour, I would say I'm pretty much bang on the money."

"Regardless of…." She stopped, the sound of a lightsaber suddenly breaking her train of thought.

" _I call bullshit! I reckon you look like shit and feel like it to. Lol. I'm okay, darlin', thanks, just chatting to dad, says hi and asks how the British weather is? X"_

Bella snorted, and flicked her butt end out the back door, taking note that while it was cold, it wasn't raining for a change.

" _It's crap! Lol. Tell him it's not raining, for a change, but the chances are high! Okay, you got me, I feel like I'm fucking dying, Jay. I need more coffee, lots more coffee! I'm gonna grab a shower, wake up a bit, and we'll skype in a bit? X"_

"Texting now? Just how close are you two?" Emma asked while Bella made another drink. "You know, I never thought you would become fast friends with this guy, and there was you thinking he was about dead."

"I know!" she said. "To think I almost deleted my profile on there too. Just a shame he lives all the way over there and I'm here and broke."

"So you would shag his brains out, then?"

"Now, that would be telling."

SPK

An hour later, she found herself sitting in front of her old laptop, waiting for it to power up while dragging her brush through her knotted hair. She felt a little more human now, not so wiped out and hung over, though she knew that feeling wouldn't last. Sooner or later, she would crash again and feel like utter shit.

No sooner had she heard the whooshing sound of skype signing in, the calling tone sounded in the room, making her jump slightly.

Bella wasn't really surprised. It had happened often, that the moment she signed in, Jasper called. Much the same as she had done it to him. But this time, she was slightly surprised. It had only been an hour since they had last shared texts and she had gleaned the impression from him that they wouldn't be talking so soon.

Hitting answer, Bella frowned as she realised it wasn't Jasper sitting in front of his laptop, but instead, a striking blonde haired woman who looked more than a little pissed.

"Bella, right?" the woman spat.

"You must be Rose," she remarked. The voice sounded exactly like the woman she had heard last night in the background, though she hadn't actually gotten a good enough look at her before now. "Come to say sorry for being a bitch?"

Rose laughed, dismissive and sarcastic. "You are expecting me to say sorry?"

"Yes, actually, I am. You owe your brother an apology too. Just who the hell do you think you are, throwing his dead wife in his face. What's your problem?"

"Who do I think I am?" Rose asked. "I'm looking out for my brother and I know you are bad news. You're using him, and I won't sit by and let you destroy him."

"Destroy him? How am I going to destroy him? I care about him and you sound jealous to me. How many times have you thrown Alice in his face, trying to hold him back and bend him to your will?" Bella challenged.

"Listen, Bella," Rose started, ignoring what she had said. "Leave Jasper alone. He doesn't need you in his life."

"And you know what he needs?"

"Look, I understand that you think you know Jasper, but really you don't." The beautiful blonde smirked at Bella, causing her blood to boil. "You'll never replace Alice and you'll never be her. Just forget you ever met Jasper, do us all that favour."

"How about you do your brother a favour and shut the fuck up!" Bella seethed. "Where the hell do you get off? Seriously, just where? You come on here, and try to throw your weight around and expect me to listen to it? Do as you say? It's not about to happen, Barbie wannabe. How about you toddle yourself off and go and play on the nearest interstate!"

She watched as wannabe Barbie's face darkened and took on a whole new look of something inhuman. Fear crept up her spine, but she refused to back down and show it. To her, she was defending her friendship with Jasper, despite what he might be. He had done nothing to her and had never given her reason to fear him. She held onto that thought when she wanted to slam the laptop closed and hide away.

Jasper was her friend. Her best friend and she accepted him, whatever secrets he held in his closet. The woman on the scene could go fuck herself if she thought she would just walk away from him.

"You're a liability, I will not allow you to destroy this family!" Rose threatened.

"Are you fucking crazy?" Bella asked, taken back somewhat over this woman's accusation. "Liability? Destroy your family? What in the name of arse are you going on about it?"

"You know exactly what I'm going on about!"

"It's excessive. We're friends, nothing more than friends. You're making out like we're in some sort of relationship and to be honest, you're coming across as a psycho." Folding her arms over her chest, she stared at the blonde.

This was insane, completely insane. Jasper was nothing more than her friend, someone she enjoyed chatting with. Granted, she thought he was hot, but she wasn't about to act on it. Besides, that would be hard to do when the man lived on the other side of the Atlantic.

"I'm warning you," Rose spat in utter disgust.

"And what you gonna do about it? Fuck all I reckon." She knew she was provoking the raging blonde, but she knew that there wasn't much that his sister could do. She was miles away after all.

"I could make you disappear and no-" Rose was suddenly cut off mid sentence.

Bella blinked, moving closer to the laptop screen as she saw who she thought was Jasper growl and tackle his sister to the ground.

Loud growls, deafening, frightening growls, erupted and rattled through the laptop speakers. Screams followed quickly, the sound of metal tearing, made her ears hurt. She watched Jasper move so fast that he became nothing but a blur.

"I warned you! I fucking warned you!" she heard Jasper say.

But his voice was different. It was no longer soft and inviting. Instead, it was low and deadly; his words coming out in a menacing growl that caused her to gasp at the sound.

She had felt fear when she had seen Rose's face change, but that fear was nothing to what she felt now. Hearing the deadly tone which Jasper used scared her to her core.

Bella caught sight of two other figures blurring across the screen in a speed she didn't know was possible.

"Son, remember who you are," she heard over the growls and the sound of things breaking. "Bella is still connected."

It was the last thing she heard before the screen went blank and the call disconnected.

For a few minutes, she just sat there, staring at the screen while trying to work out just what she had witnessed. It was almost like this was all a dream; that what she had seen didn't exist in the real world. No one moved that fast, no one growled like an animal, and no one made sounds like metal breaking when they got hurt.

"What the.." she trailed off as she sat back.

None of it made any sense. Had she fallen asleep and woken up in the twilight zone? It certainly felt like it.

Just what had she gotten herself caught up in? Who were these people who moved super fast and growled like animals?

Just what was Jasper hiding?

Maybe she should take his sister's advice and leave Jasper alone. Block him from her contacts and pretend she had never met or spoken to him. Though, as that thought began to grow, she realised that what she had thought earlier was still true.

He was her friend and she accepted him, no matter what he was hiding.

Blowing out a breath, Bella rose from her chair and made her way downstairs in need of a smoke. Her head however, was still swimming, still trying to process what she had just witnessed.

So much clouded her mind, and not just what she had seen at the end, but his sister too. She was a fucking nutter, plain and simple. A few texts, emails and Skype chats hardly warranted that sort of outburst from her.

To some degree, albeit small, she could understand her protectiveness over Jasper. He had been deeply hurt when Alice passed away, she knew that, and she knew that Rose didn't want anyone taking advantage of him. But it wasn't like Alice had only just died.

It wasn't like there was anything more between them than friends.

She didn't want to hurt Jasper, and she knew that his sister had hurt him. They were close or had been close at one point. He had told her how much of a great help Rose had been to him when Alice passed, and that it now hurt him to have this sort of wedge between them.

Couldn't his sister see that?

Couldn't she see that she and Jasper were just friends and this protective outburst was uncalled for?

Couldn't she see that she was hurting her brother more and more by acting this way?

Walking past Emma, she picked up her smokes and lit up, ignoring Emma's questioning eye for a moment.

Taking a long, deep pull from her smoke, she blew it out, watching the blueish grey smoke swirl up in the sky as Emma moved near her. Looking at her, her brow pulled together in confusion, before disbelief crossed her face.

"What?" Emma asked, with her smoke between her lips.

"She's fucking nuts," Bella breathed out, her thumb and pointer finger rubbing across her forehead. "Fucking psycho."

"Who is?" Emma asked, flicking her ash. "The woman next door? Because if it's her, then leave it alone. She's already been on at the landlord about us."

"It's not fag ash lil," Bella answered flatly. "Rose, she's off her rocker. Saying I'm some danger to her family. A liability she called me. Me? A liability? Can you believe that? Fucking wannabe Barbie can go fuck herself with her threats and promises."

"Who?"

"Fucking Rose, stupid bint needs a fucking slap," she spat out, looking at her friend who just blinked at her in confusion. "Jasper's sister."

"Oh," Emma answered before her face changed and the penny dropped. "Ooh. What's she done?"

"Weren't you listening?" Bella snapped, throwing her smoke outside and heading to the fridge. "Jack pot!" she called as she pulled out a bottle of wine.

"Isn't it a little early?" Emma asked. "And after last night too."

"No," she snapped, grabbing a glass from the side and pouring herself a long drink. "After what I've just seen… Just heard... No, it's not too early, it's the perfect time for one."

"Okay…" Emma said, pulling out the chair across from her. "So, his sister's a nut job, so what?"

"It's not that she's just a nut job, it's how she acted. Like I'm stealing him away or something crazy like that," she muttered, grabbing hold of her phone. "I need to call Jasper."

"Is that wise?" Emma asked. "I mean, if this sister is a wacko, then maybe speaking to Jasper isn't the best idea in the world."

"He's my friend, Emma. I'm not gonna be put off by wannabe Barbie." Scrolling through her contacts, she found Jasper's number. "I need to see if he's alright. Some shit went down."

"I hardly think you need to see if he's alright just because you had a spat with his sister." Emma looked at Bella, "Unless I'm missing something here…. I am missing something aren't I?"

"I can't explain it. Hell, I can't even explain it to myself. It's….it's like….not normal."

She could hardly tell Emma that she thought Jasper wasn't human. Even though she thought it, and what she had seen and heard only served to back up that thought, she still wasn't massively sure herself.

She needed to ask Jasper. But would he even tell her the truth? And if she was wrong, and he was human, and all of this could be explained, would he even talk to her again?

This couldn't be explained easily, though. She wasn't that stupid. It wasn't like he could say the growls she had heard, the sounds of metal breaking, was just the family dog and furniture. Even if he had an excuse for that, how would he explain the super fast movement?

A trick of the light? Doubtful.

"What's not normal?" Emma asked, cutting through her thoughts.

"I don't know…." she mused, not really paying attention to her friend. "I'm gonna call…" Her phone suddenly kicked into life.

Seeing Jasper's name flashing across the screen, Bella grabbed her smokes and opened the back door. Feeling the cold December air hit her, she shivered and wished she could take this call inside, but she knew Emma wouldn't leave the kitchen and she couldn't smoke upstairs.

"Jasper, you okay?" she asked the moment she answered his call.

"Hey darlin'," he drawled almost smoothly, but she noted the slight edge still present in his voice. "Are you okay?"

Bella snorted slightly as she walked to the end of the garden and lit up again.

"That's a loaded question, Jay." She sighed. "Not much makes sense, to be fair, and I'm more than a little confused."

"Yeah. Guessed as much."

"What was that all about?" she asked gently. "Because what I saw wasn't normal."

"Rose is jealous," he stated as she leant up against the fence. "She's got a few issues you could say."

"A few issues?" Bella snickered. "She's psycho, Jay. No offence, but she's not all there."

"None taken, darlin'."

"Good." She paused, wondering if she could actually say what she wanted to, what she needed to.

"There's a reason I'm calling."

"To speak to me because you realise I'm the sanest person you know? Not to mention I'm nothing short of amazing?" she joked.

Hearing his chuckle, Bella couldn't help but smile at the sound.

"You got me there," he mused, "but apart from those reasons, and wanting to know that you were alright, I wanted to tell you that I wouldn't be reachable for a few days."

"What do you mean, reachable?" she asked, the smile disappearing off her face. "Jay?"

"I'm leaving home for a bit. I can't handle this shit storm that Rose has created for me. I just want to be happy, try to enjoy my life," he growled towards the end. "She just can't let me be happy. You make me happy and she hates it, and if I stay I'll do something I might come to regret."

"Where you going?" she asked, concerned. "You know, you make me happy too." She felt like such a tit for saying it, but she felt like she should let him know that she felt the same.

"I don't know, yet, but I'll be in touch as soon as I'm settled, okay?" he asked softly. "I just didn't want you to panic and think I've fallen off the face of the earth."

"Thanks…. Jay?" She paused, taking another drag of her smoke.

"Yeah, darlin'?"

"There's something different about you, isn't there? You're...not quite…" she hesitated for a second before whispering, "...human."

* * *

 **AN:** _Yeah, mean aren't I? Haha. Reviews would be nice, thahis._


	13. Chapter 13

**AN:** _Hi ya! Wow! You guys blew me away last chapter with the reviews. A massive, massive thank you to everyone who reviewed, placed it alert and faved it. I do, however, want to clarify something, as I think I confused a few of you. I didn't mean the story as a whole was tanking, I meant that chapter (chapter 11). The story as a whole ISN'T tanking. I was just bitching about that chapter not doing well and how it doesn't motivate you to write, which was why it took so long to get the chapter done. Anyways, this chapter is all done and so is 14! It's flowing out of me at the moment. (That sounds wrong, doesn't it? Lol )_

 _Again, a big thank you to Laura, who has worked her magic and made it all pretty and readable, because despite Facebook's grammar quiz that says I rock at it, I really don't. You can tell by my AN. Lol._

 _Anyways, enjoy and I'll see you at the bottom!_

* * *

Volterra, Italy

December

Present day.

" _There's something different about you, isn't there? You're ….not quite…." She hesitated for a second before whispering, "...human."_

" _Bella…" He sighed, running his hand over his face._

" _It's okay, Jay."_

" _Bella…"_

" _Whatever it is, you can tell me, Jay."_

" _I don't want to lie to you, darlin'. I care for you too much to do that. But you really need to leave this alone, please." He hoped she would hear the warning in his voice, the threat that was very real should she ever know his secret._

Jasper sighed deeply as he thought about his last phone call with Bella. He knew that after everything that had happened, after what she had seen, there would be questions; but that question, that statement, threw him. If he was honest with himself, he didn't think she would actually come out and say that.

' _Not quite human...'_ He chuckled darkly at that thought.

She was right, but he couldn't tell her; he couldn't risk it, risk _her_ like that. All he could do was hope that she would listen to his warning, and leave it alone. He didn't want to lie to her, and had answered all her questions as best he could, even going as far as confusing her with them. Also, he wasn't completely lying to her.

Maybe he should have shut it down the moment she said those three little words. He should have laughed it off, come up with some excuse for all that she had witnessed, but he didn't want to. Deep down, he wanted her to know him, too _really_ know him. It was selfish, he was selfish. Dancing along the line of the law, something that if broken, he would pay for by death. He doubted that even his friendship with Caius could save his sorry ass from such a consequence.

The sound of footsteps brought him back to the present, and took him out of his thoughts. Opening his eyes, he watched the last few rays of the winter sun cascade over the old buildings of Volterra. He had to admit, sitting on the hillside, overlooking the city, was beautiful. The hillside was one of his favourite places to come whenever he visited; it was also their usual meeting point.

Long legs soon stretched out beside him as a deep sigh left the lips of his companion. Turning his head to the side, he saw Caius next to him.

"Going by your expression and the sheer mood you brought with you when you arrived, I figured the good stuff was in order," Caius offered, pulling out a bottle of whisky. "Don't thank me, I raided it from Aro," he added with a smirk, popping the top off with his teeth and taking a long drink before handing it to Jasper.

"Thanks." Taking a long pull of the deep gold liquid, his face screwed up slightly at the burning sensation that ran down his throat. "It's been a rough few days."

" Hmm, more like a rough few years," Caius answered. "I was sorry to hear about Alice. I know what she meant to you."

"I'm surviving, just about." He shrugged it off, by passing the king's remark about Alice. "Though things are strained at home."

"How so?" Caius asked.

"I almost killed, Rose," he admitted, his eyes becoming unfocused as he looked at the city lights beginning to light up the sky. "If Carlisle and Emmett hadn't have arrived, I would have. And I don't know if I'm pissed off that they stopped me or thankful."

"Rose? The obnoxious blonde one?" Jasper nodded his head in agreement. "Ah, well, the world would survive without her, but I can see why that would cause trouble at home. Goes against Carlisle's peacekeeping lifestyle, doesn't it?" Caius questioned.

"Carlisle's been great over it," he admitted. "But it has caused problems."

Resting his wrists on his knees, Jasper looked at the bottle in his hand wishing for nothing more than to be able to really feel the effects of the whisky. It wouldn't matter how much he consumed, he'd never get drunk. The golden liquid wouldn't have the desired effect of getting him so intoxicated, he wouldn't be able to remember his own name.

Though, he wished it would. Just something, anything to give his mind a break from all this mess that had been created.

Sighing deeply, he brought the bottle to lips and took a long swig, wondering how Bella was.

' _Bella...'_ Her name swirled around his mind. He needed to call her, let her know he was alright; tell her where he was, and more importantly, hear her voice. He missed her.

 _Really_ missed her.

Four days had passed since he last spoke to her, and he had been in Italy since this morning, having landed in Switzerland two days prior. He could have gotten a direct flight to Italy. It wasn't as though flights here were limited, but he'd wanted and needed time to process everything. To try and burn off some steam by running, hoping to simmer down his raging emotions and get a better hold of them.

That, and he'd needed to hunt.

"Okay," Caius frowned slightly, taking the bottle of whisky from him. "Are you going to key me in on what's actually happened? Or am I going to have to play a guessing game here? Because I really don't have the patience for those games, not my idea of fun." Caius looked at Jasper as he placed the bottle against his lips.

"It's complicated," he offered. "I've become friends with someone who Rose hates. She's taken it upon herself to threaten her, to go as far as saying she will kill her." He growled, feeling the threads of anger begin to lick at his senses again. "It's like she thinks I'm her possession or something. It's become weird. Carlisle doesn't really know what to do with her, no one does. She's become so obsessed with me it's scary, and it's not the, 'I wanna take you to bed' type obsessive either."

"She is mated, is she not?" Caius asked his brow knitting together in thought.

Jasper could feel the king's confusion on Rose, just like he could feel it on Carlisle when he had spoken to him regarding her. Was it possible for a vampire to lose their mind? To go completely insane? If she wasn't mated, her actions would make more sense to him, more sense to anyone who knew the situation, but she _is_ mated.

"Yes, it's one of the reasons that throws Carlisle for a loop." He paused for a moment. "She's been warned, more than once, about interfering with my life, but it's not sinking in. And me staying there would have resulted in me killing her."

"Hmm, confusing actions from your so-called sister, Jasper," Caius stated. "And Carlisle's thoughts on all of this are?" Caius questioned.

"He doesn't want to see me kill Rose, naturally. Though he knows that Rose is completely out of line for being involved in my affairs like this." Jasper rubbed his face. "As I said, Carlisle has been great over all of this. I know how much he hates the conflict within the family, and he wishes that things would be resolved." He snickered at that word. _"Resolved,_ " he spat, "can't ever see that happening, and if he's honest with himself, neither can he."

"It does sound as though it's beyond repair."

"I don't want to put Carlisle through any more shit. He's dealt with enough because of me," he admitted, his shoulders sagging down with the weight of that statement.

It was the truth. If it hadn't have been for him, Carlisle would have never been placed in such a situation as to fight; something he knew that his adoptive father hated with a burning passion.

Because of him, Carlisle was forced to fight, forced to watch his mate fight, forced to witness Alice die. He knew that Carlisle didn't relish in death at all, and the pain of losing Alice had hurt him deeply. It was one of the things he had always admired about Carlisle; he loved his family fiercely, and losing Alice was as though Carlisle had lost his own daughter - his own flesh and blood.

"Carlisle may be a different breed of vampire altogether, but he would never point any fingers at you," Caius offered gently, bumping Jasper's shoulder slightly. "And I'm almost certain that he doesn't regret your involvement in his family. You became his family, Jasper, you became his son. And now for him to see you and Rose at such drastic ends will hurt him, but he'll never choose one over the over."

"He's Rose's sire, Caius. He's not mine."

"And that does not matter. Not to Carlisle. It will have pained him to watch you leave his family, knowing there wasn't much he can do to fix this."

"Rose caused this mess. Our family has suffered enough, and now it continues to suffer. I don't think she realises just what she's doing to Carlisle, not to mention Esme..." He trailed off with a shake of his head.

"And that makes you sad."

He scoffed at the statement.

Yes, part of him wanted to kill her, a massive part of him did, but a larger part of him couldn't forget how she'd helped him when Alice had died.

Where had she gone? The sister that was there for him? That comforted him when his world fell apart and helped rebuild it once again. He missed that Rose. The Rose he had hoped would be with him and encourage his growing friendship with Bella. The Rose he had wanted Bella to meet.

"Because of her newly developed actions and feelings, she pushed you out of the family home you love; and in turn, taken away the sister that helped you." Caius smiled slightly, "Am I correct?"

"Pretty much, yeah," he sighed, pulling the bottle from Caius's hands. "I just don't get it. She became my rock and got me through some shit; things I don't think I could have gotten through without her." He took a long drink from the bottle, feeling the weight of his emotions pressing down on him again. "The Rose I loved, the one that got me through everything is gone. And the one in her place now is dead to me, and it kills to know that."

"Hmm," the king muttered. "So, am I correct in assuming that this friend is female?"

With a heavy sigh, he nodded his head. He knew at some point he would tell Caius about Bella. He could only avoid it for so long, but he had hoped that it wouldn't be now. He was treading a fine line with the law now, not because of his friendship with her, but because she now suspected him not being human.

Telling Caius this could make him force his hand into something he really didn't want to do. Bella meant the world to him, and if he was honest with himself, if she lived in the states, he would have seen her and in turn pulled her into his world. But she didn't, she lived thousands of miles away from him, and he didn't want to mess with her life by getting involved with her.

Not when the temptation wasn't directly near to him.

"You don't have to tell me, I will not pry," Caius told him. "You do what you need to do in order to stop yourself from becoming another Marcus. I would hate to see that day, and I pray to the Gods that you don't go like that."

"That's what scares me," he confessed. "I keep fighting to survive, to not become like that, but it's hard. So fucking hard."

"I cannot even begin to imagine what you have gone through or continue to go through. I admire your strength in this, Jasper," Caius admitted. "I sat and watched Marcus change. After the rage subsided, after he accepted her death, he just stopped. Years of watching him pull deeper and deeper into himself have become rather sad to see. He was once so full of life, had an input on everything and refused to back down. Now, it's like he's not even there. For days he will just sit there, unmoving, collecting dust on his person. Nothing makes a difference to him now, he's not even there anymore. Just trapped in his mind, wishing for death that will never come."

"Change is hard."

"Indeed," the king agreed. "But not impossible for us. I have witnessed you change a few times. You're not the same man I met all those years ago with Maria, nor are you now the man I saw walk into that castle with your wife on your arm. You changed and changed again."

"Two choices, regroup or surrender."

Caius chuckled and nodded his head. "Never a truer word was spoken."

"It would have been easier to surrender."

"But that's not in your character to surrender." Caius paused, and Jasper felt the shift in his emotions. "Which brings me to my next question: Maria..."

"What about her?"

"I'm under the impression that Maria was behind Alice's death," Caius stated.

"You're under no impression, Caius," he muttered. "You know she was."

"Humour me," the king said with a smirk. "What do you plan to do about her?" he asked. "I would have thought you would have already taken the fight to her."

"No point in rushing it, rushing will get me killed. I'll catch up with her at some point. It's not like I've forgotten about her, but I need to do this right," he said with a sigh. "It's not like I can drag the Cullens into this again. I'm on my own."

"No, you have my full support. Tell me who you want with you, and I'll have them ready to depart at your word." Turning his head, Jasper smiled at the king's offer. "I mean it, Jasper. Hell, I may even come along myself."

"Thanks, but I'm not gonna get you guys involved. It's my battle to fight, but I really appreciate the offer." He allowed Caius to feel his gratitude. "Besides, when was the last time you actually had a real fight?"

"Too long," Caius sighed out heavily, "But why do you feel you have to do this on your own?"

"It's my fight, no one else's," he repeated again. "I'm not really into the whole 'running for back up and getting someone to fight my fight for me' thing."

"No, but having someone watch your back is never a bad idea unless you don't plan on leaving that battle."

He let the king's words rest in the air around him while he thought about it. In the past, he had thought about just running in, killing her and not making it out. The pain he had suffered after Alice almost made him do just that, but something had stopped him. Even though there was now this massive void in his life, a pain that he had never felt before crippling his soul, something had held him back from going in, all guns blazing.

The pain had slowly faded, the darkness had slowly begun to brighten up, and at the heart of it was Bella. With her now in his life, he didn't want to kill Maria and in turn, kill himself. He now wanted to walk out of that fight.

He may not have Bella by his side, but she was everything to him, and the thought of never speaking to her, never even having the option to see her, crippled him.

"She won't be on her own, Jasper."

"No, she never is," he answered, looking down at the city lights. "I should have killed her years ago when I had the chance."

"Hindsight is a wonderful thing, although, it's pretty much useless at solving the problem at hand." Caius said, "What you should have done, is get in touch when you knew she was coming for you."

"What I should have done, is follow my own instincts in the matter and not have listened to the family. I should have taken the fight to her." Jasper shook his head. "Maybe I should have gone off on my own and gotten you involved. It doesn't matter now, what's done is done."

"Do you know where she's hiding out?" Caius asked after a few minutes of silence.

"Not completely."

It was the truth. He knew roughly where she was, and what she was doing. Over the years since Alice's death, he had kept tabs on her movements. Checking in with friends he had in areas that he knew Maria often resided in. Those friends also knew to get in touch should she suddenly move and begin to head his way.

This was something he should have always done. From the day he left Maria, he should have kept a close eye on her. Knowing what she was doing and planning, but he hadn't. If he had, he would have known long in advance that she was coming for him.

It was a mistake that he wouldn't make again.

"I'm guessing you can help me there if I need it?"

"Of course, just let me know when you want the information on her," Caius offered, "Though I can tell you, she's doing a lot of nothing at the moment."

"Hmm, should I be worried that she's lying so low at the moment?" His brow pulled together, just a little concerned by this information.

Was she lying low because she was getting ready to make her move against him again? It was plausible, if she knew that he had been keeping tabs on her, she would pull herself underground to plan her next move. A move that he needed to know she was planning to take before she took it, so he could be ready.

"I don't believe so," Caius mused. "From what I know, she lost a fight and has lost most of her army. She's rebuilding it, but I don't think she's planning anything against you just yet. Word is, she's awaiting your return and has every faith that sooner or later, you will go back."

"To kill her, yes," he growled out. "I long for the day she burns."

"Then plan your attack, Jasper," Caius said with a sigh. "If you're sure you do not wish for my help in this fight, then maybe you will accept my help in planning this? I do, after all, have the means to find out every little detail." Caius smirked as he rose to his feet. "I'll expect to see you in the training room at some point, Jasper."

"Ready for me to kick your ass again?" he challenged, causing Caius to laugh.

"We shall see."

SPK

Jasper remained on the hillside, the bottle of whisky now empty and discarded next to him. He had chosen to remain here, instead of following the king back to the castle where he would be met with questioning eyes and heavy emotions.

He wasn't in the mood to deal with the more hellish emotions that ran through the castle. All of his emotions had battered him during his talk with Caius; the past coming back to the present when they'd spoken about Alice, the present condition of his home life, and how he now mourned the loss of his sister.

He wanted to be on his own, to be able to raid through his own emotions and centre himself once more.

Though, if he was honest with himself, more than anything right now, he wanted to speak to Bella.

Pulling out his phone, he wondered if she would be awake. They now only shared an hour's time difference, which would make things easier to talk. The thought spread warmth through his chest, a soft purr leaving him as his fingers twitched to call the woman that had come to mean so much to him.

Pressing call, he silently cursed himself at the time. It was just turned 3 A.M his time, which meant it was gone 2 A.M her time. He would be waking her, disrupting her from her sleep. Though as the call rang through and those thoughts registered in his mind, he didn't hang up.

"You've really become selfish, Whitlock," he muttered to himself just before the call connected.

A smile spread across his face as he heard Bella's sleep filled voice mumble a hello.

"Hi darlin'," he spoke gently. "Sorry for the hour."

"Jay?" he heard her question, followed by movement that he could only assume was her sitting up in bed. "Oh my God, where are you? I've been so worried about you."

"Slow down, Bella," he drawled with a slight chuckle. "I'm fine, I told you not to worry, darlin'."

"Yeah, well, I did. Even more so after…" she paused and he heard her suck in a breath, "o _ur_ last conversation."

"Everything is fine, just…" he trailed off, wanting their conversation to move away from him not being human.

"I've missed you," Bella said, and he couldn't help but be a little thankful that she was taking his warning to heart and not pushing this.

"Missed you too, darlin', _" 'So much,'_ he added silently. "I'm only an hour ahead of you now."

"You're in Europe?" she asked. "Where in Europe?"

"Italy," he answered with a smile, hearing her moan.

"All that wonderful Italian food, I'm super jealous!" she groaned. "Lemme guess, you're in Rome?"

"Rome?" he asked. "Why Rome?"

"Dunno really, I was gonna say Milan, but then I thought that it's more fashion connected and you're more historical, so Rome it was," she answered before yawning down the line. "Sorry."

"Don't be darlin', it's me that called you during the night." He sighed feeling his happy emotions begin to disappear. "I'll let you get back to sleep."

"No!" Bella all but shouted down the line, shocking him slightly. "Sorry, it's okay, I wanna talk to you unless you need to sleep."

"Can't sleep," he answered honestly. He hadn't slept in a long time, but Bella didn't know that. He was thankful that phrase was so widely used by humans who couldn't seem to drop off at night. "Besides, I called you, Bella. It's obvious that I wanna talk to you," he said with a smirk.

"That you did." He could hear the smile in her voice. "So, was I right in my guess?"

"Nope," he said. "Though I like how you worked it out, and I've been to both those places. I'm in a little city called Volterra."

"Volterra?" she questioned. "What's in Volterra?"

"Friend's." He shrugged. "Haven't seen them in a long time, and with everything that's happened at home…" he trailed off.

"You figured you'd kill two birds with one stone," she finished.

"Exactly."

"How were things at home, you know, before you left?"

' _Pretty fucking shitty,'_ he thought, but didn't voice it. "Strained. Carlisle understood my need to leave, but of course didn't want me to go."

"You're close to your dad?"

"Yeah, I am actually." He realised just how close he had become to Carlisle.

Over the years since Alice's death, he had gotten to know Carlisle on a whole other level. During all the shit storm that had transpired, all the hatred that had been thrown, Carlisle had never let it get in the way, even when he, himself, had been a dick to him.

"He's just been there. No hidden agenda, no trying to stop me from living my life, but always there with words of advice. I guess I'm only now I'm realising just how close I am to him," he admitted.

"Have you spoken to him since you left?" Bella asked. "Because you sound as though you want to."

"No, and I'm a big boy, Bella," he joked. "I can tie my own shoes."

"Congratulations." He heard her clap. "But what I mean is, you sound as though you need to tell him just how much he means to you."

He smiled at her caring tone, knowing that she was right. He hadn't really ever told or shown Carlisle just how much he did mean to him, and how thankful he was that he didn't turn him away all those years ago.

"Yeah, you know me well, darlin'," he answered with a smile.

"I know you care, Jay," she replied, "So, how about I go back to sleep and sulk while you call your dad?"

"Sulk because I'm in Italy with all that lovely food and you're not?" He chuckled.

"Yes," she cried. "That and you went there." It was so low that if it hadn't have been for his enhanced hearing, he would have missed it.

"Bella?" He asked, his nerves suddenly gone to shit as an idea popped into his head.

"Jasper?" she giggled slightly.

"Would you like to see me?" He felt his breath shake, his voice not completely being void of the nervousness he was feeling by asking her that question.

 _'So much for staying away from her and not getting involved.'_

"More than anything, Jasper," she answered without pause. "Maybe after Christmas we could…" she hesitated for a minute and he heard her take a deep breath, "sort something out?"

"Most definitely."

* * *

 **AN:** _I know, I know. So many of you wanted him to go to England to see Bella, but it just wouldn't have worked that way._

 _So, Jasper didn't confirm or deny anything, so he hasn't broken any laws. Question is, can Bella figure it out?_

 _Next chapter is written, and it'll be up this time next week. Please, if you would be so kind and a drop a review, that would be lovely. Thanks_


	14. Chapter 14

**AN:** _Hi there! Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter, placed it on alert and faved it. It really does make my day to read them._

 _A big thank you to Laura for working her magic and making it all pretty !_

 _So, the next chapter is written and half of the one after that is. I've been on a roll with this story for the past week or so._

 _Anyways, enjoy!_

* * *

Nottingham, England

December,

Present day.

Pouring another shot of Cherry Sourz, Bella screwed her face up as she knocked her glass back and downed the pinky red liquid. She shouldn't be drinking, not tonight, she was due to leave her student house tomorrow and head back home for Christmas. Granted, she didn't have miles to travel, already coming from the city she chose to go to uni in, but she knew turning up to her parent's house half cut from the night before, would be a big no-no.

"Fuck it," she muttered, turning her attention back to her laptop.

Deep down, she knew she shouldn't be looking, that Jasper's warning still rang loud and clear in her mind. _'I don't want to lie to you, darlin', I care for you too much to, but you really need to leave this alone, please."_ Even now, the way he had said it, the tone which he had used, caused the hairs on the back of her neck to stand up.

So far, she had stuck to her word, and not pushed anything. Every Time they had spoken, she had acted as though that conversation had never taken place. But it had taken place, and in a roundabout way, Jasper had confirmed he wasn't human.

It didn't matter to her, not really. She had gotten to know the man he was before she had even the tiniest thought that all might not be as it seemed. Jasper was still her friend, that didn't change just because he was a different being altogether. She still fancied him.

' _Still fancied him?'_ She thought with a chuckle. "You've got issues, Bella, real issues." But the fact still remained the same. This new knowledge didn't stop her attraction to him, though she did wonder if he took on the form of a human, did he work like a human?

It wasn't like she would ask him, but still, the thought was there.

But what was he? She didn't have a lot to go on to try and work out just what he was, and the only thing she had come up with was alien. Hours she had spent searching the web for any type of information, real information, she could get on aliens. Though, gathering real information was hard. There wasn't much, and she had even taken to joining internet sites, where people believed they had been abducted by aliens, probed by them and had seen them and their space ship.

Some were definitely crazy, who clearly needed to go to the doctors for some new meds, but others seemed more convincing. It wasn't like she could really comment on them; there she was, reading their stories, trying to figure out if Jasper was an alien.

"Aliens? Really Bella, just really?" Emma asked, leaning over her shoulder and looking at the site she was on. "Since when did you believe in little green men?"

"I don't believe we are the only living things out there," she muttered. "Out of all the planets, solar systems, galaxies, I doubt that there is just us and nothing else."

"Yeah, but you know all these crop circles are a load of crap, don't you?" Emma questioned, raising her eyebrow at her. "I mean, maybe there was something that landed in that desert in America all those years ago. They keep shit locked up, under lock and key. Base 51 or whatever it's called, you can't even go near it."

"It's Area 51," she corrected Emma, who just shrugged.

"What was that place called where that spaceship landed? Or what people claim was a spaceship?" Emma asked, pouring a shot of Cherry sourz, "There's a lot of stuff surrounding that place and what happened."

"Roswell?" Bella looked at Emma, trying to think back to when that happened.

"Yeah, that's it. I'm sure people said they saw bodies being carried away." She shrugged. "I dated this guy who was well into it. Anyway, he believes that they did in fact, find bodies and those bodies were still alive." Bella stared at her friend, her eyes wide. "What? Surely you've read that stuff?"

"You know, alien life forms on earth never really reached me," _'Until now,'_ she thought. "Do you know when that happened?"

Slamming the shot glass down, Emma's face screwed up. "Blah, that tastes a lot better when wasted."

"Emma…" she whined. "Do you know or not?"

"Chill will ya?" Emma smirked. "It's not often I have the knowledge you seek." Emma chuckled. "Some point in the forties, I think. Forty-six? Maybe forty-seven? Google it."

"Hmm..."

Bella sat back and tapped her chin. She hadn't bothered looking into that just yet, though now she thought about it, maybe she should have Googled Roswell from the offset. If there was an alien spaceship that landed, and they'd been alive, then maybe Jasper was one of them? Maybe he could take on the life form of someone, and had taken the life from of Major Jasper Whitlock? That would explain why he looked so much like him.

But then, he knew too much about the Civil War. Was it possible that an alien would want to find out about that war, considering they took on his form?

"Wait, that wouldn't make sense," she muttered out loud, causing Emma to look at her.

Major Whitlock had gone missing in action back in 1863, Roswell happened late, 1940's, the two don't tie up. Surely, if he could take on the human form, he would pick someone from that time frame? Not someone with such historical past that they would then have to learn all about them and that war?

' _The alien may like history,_ ' she thought with a giggle.

"Are you okay?" Emma asked, pulling the bottle away from Bella. "Maybe you should lay off the drink for a bit."

"I'm fine," she said, snatching the bottle back. "Do you think aliens could take on the human life form?"

"Like _Invasion Of The Body Snatchers_?" Emma laughed at her own question. "What next, _Men In Black_?"

"I'm being serious."

"I'm sure you are. But Bella, sweetheart, there is no invasion of the body snatchers, little green men do not walk the streets, and there are no men in black." Emma commented, patting her shoulder. "Though, men in black would be cool! I could use one of those mind wiping rays they have."

Clearing her open tabs, she silently admitted that Emma was more than likely right. Even if there had been a spaceship, full of aliens, the American government wasn't about to let them walk the earth, even more so if they could take on the human life form. She had gotten caught up in all this alien stuff, reading too much, and trying to connect some dots to Jasper.

' _Maybe he's not an alien?'_ she thought. But if he wasn't an alien, then what the hell was he?

"I'm going for a smoke," she said with a sigh, standing quickly and heading to the kitchen.

Pulling a smoke out her packet, she lit up and opened the back door, noticing the rain that was now coming down heavily. Blowing out smoke, her thoughts turned back to Jasper and the fact that he was now in Italy.

' _So close, yet still so far.'_

She couldn't help but feel sad when she realised he had gone to Europe and not England. A part of her had hoped he would come here, come and see her. When he had said he needed to get away, that little glimmer of hope had set in. It was foolish to think it. They were friends, internet friends, and he had no real reason to come here and see her. It wasn't as though they had been lifelong friends, or friends for years for that matter. They had only been friends a few short months. Though, it felt like she had known him all her life.

A smile crept on her face as she remembered him asking if she wanted to see him. She couldn't believe he had actually asked her that; even more so when they decided to make arrangements for after Christmas. Even now she could feel the giddiness beginning to swell up inside of her at him coming here.

They had yet to discuss if he would come here, but she kind of got the impression that he would fly from Italy to here, rather than have her go there. It would suck if that turned out to the plan. She was skint, and a flight to Italy, no matter how much she wanted to go, would take her an age to save for. And damn it, she wanted to see him after Christmas, like they had said.

Flicking her smoke out into the back garden, a raindrop hit her hand and she wondered if it was raining in Volterra where Jasper was. She didn't know much about the city. No, that was a lie, she had never even heard of it until the other night when Jasper had called. Deciding she wanted to know more about the city Jasper was in, she headed back into the living room.

Emma eyed her as she sat down and typed Volterra, Italy, into the search engine. Pages after pages popped up, most offering great deals and wonderful places to stay. She didn't want that. She wanted to know about the city itself.

"What, Emma?"

"Just wondering how you've jumped from aliens to vampires," she asked, pulling her lips together. "Why are you looking up some small Italian place?"

"It's where Jasper is staying," Bella muttered, "And what do you mean vampires?"

"There," she pointed at the link on the screen. "Click that link, the one that says Saint Marcus and vampires."

"Vampires, really?" she asked, looking at Emma in some form of disbelief.

"You can't say shit, you've just been looking at aliens," Emma reminded her. "At least this one is more believable."

"How?"

"Read the page, they gave that saint a national holiday." Emma smiled. "If I don't see you in the morning, have a fabulous Christmas and I'll see you for New Year?"

"You coming back for that night out?" she asked, smiling at Emma's horrified face.

"Never imply I might stay at home for New Year," Emma warned. "I'll see you then!"

With a kiss on the cheek, Emma danced out of the room and out the front door. At the slam of the door, Bella shook her head and sighed, staring at the web page.

"Vampires…" she muttered.

Vampires weren't real, national holiday or no national holiday. The idea of Vampires walking the street was even crazier than the one of aliens. She couldn't help but wonder if Jasper knew he was in a city that once had vampires in it. That they had given some saint a national holiday for driving out the vampires from the city.

Though, even though she passed it off as nothing and it being completely and utterly unrealistic, she couldn't help but think that maybe Emma was onto something with vampires. She had read a fair few vampire books in her time, who hadn't? And they all seemed to follow the same pattern.

Vampires didn't die, so they could have forever on the earth. They were once human, being turned by another vampire. If this was true, then Jasper could very well be Major Whitlock. He could have been human during the civil war, and then got turned? It would explain why he suddenly disappeared without a trace. That and he knew so much about Civil war.

' _Of course he would.'_

If he actually lived through it, then it made sense that he would know everything about it. She recalled how she had told him her theory on Major Whitlock going missing in action and the look he had taken. He looked damn right pissed, insulted almost, that someone would dare say that. Of course, he would be offended, if he was _him_.

She admitted that the idea of him being vampire fit better than that of an alien, but there was one thing that didn't fit.

Daylight.

Bella had spoken to him during the daytime, his time, both in the states and in Italy. She had even skyped with him and had seen the rays of the sun behind him through the window. According to books and movies, vampires couldn't be out in the daytime. They would burn and turn to ash, choosing instead to sleep in coffins, waiting for the night time to come. So, him being a vampire didn't work either.

"I can't believe you actually thought Vampire," she chuckled to herself. "At least there's more proof of aliens."

Closing down her laptop, she decided that she would just leave well enough alone. Whatever he was, she wasn't going to find the answer on Google, and he wasn't about to tell her. He had asked her to leave it alone and she would, for him.

SPK

"Merry Christmas!" she cried out cheerfully as Jasper answered.

"Merry Christmas, darlin'," Jasper chuckled down the phone. "You're full of the season spirit."

"I am," she answered. "I'm also on the Buck's Fizz," she told him as she sat down on her bed.

"Buck's fizz?" he questioned, and she could hear the smile in his voice. "It's what? Almost 11 am here, which makes it almost 10 am there. And you say you're not an alcoholic."

"It's Christmas, cowboy. And I fully intend to get completely and utterly shit faced," she said proudly. "I have to endure my mum's frantic kitchen, and my nana, who thinks I'm wasting my time at uni."

"Does she?"

"Yes, she's old school. She thinks that me taking a degree in American history will get me no job. She loves to tell me that when she was my age, she had about a million kids and was married." She rolled her eyes. "She thinks I should get a job as a typist. I've tried to tell her that those sorts of jobs don't really happen now. Neither does machining, but yeah, I have to contend with that."

"I accept your point on needing alcohol to get through the day. But 10 am? Darlin', I would like to Skype with you tonight."

She grinned widely, wishing the day would hurry up and pass so they could Skype. "I'll look forward to it, Jay, and I promise not to be that drunk that I pass out," she promised. "Though, I will continue to drink when we Skype. Hey, you wanna know what the worst part about today is?"

"What?"

"I have to sit through the Queen's Christmas speech," she groaned and flopped back on her bed. "Every sodding year, without bloody fail, the household stops and we watch it."

She heard him chuckle. "Not a fan?"

"Couldn't give a toss," she answered. "So, did Santa bring you anything nice?"

"No, he didn't, but I'm under the impression I have to wait another week or so until I get my gift."

Nerves raced through her. Was he on about their meet up? They hadn't mentioned it since that night and she hadn't wanted to bring it up in case he didn't really mean it. The last thing she wanted to do was get all excited, more than she already was, and find out that he had just said it and had no intention of following through.

"And what's happening in a few weeks?" she asked, trying to sound as though she wasn't bothered and not having her stomach in knots awaiting his answer.

Jasper laughed, "You forgotten our meet up? I was under this impression that after Christmas is over, I could be booking a flight to you." He paused, "Of course if you've changed your mind," he sighed, "I understand."

She knew he was now referring to that conversation. Bella suddenly realised that while she hadn't pushed it, or even mentioned it to him, he was clearly worried that she would change her mind.

That was silly! She still stood by everything she had ever thought about him. It didn't matter what he was, he was her friend first, and nothing would ever change that. Even if he did turn out to be a little green man who could invade bodies. Though, she really hoped that wasn't the case.

"Bella?" Jasper's worried voice suddenly sounded in her ear and she realised she hadn't said anything back to him.

"Are you crazy?" she suddenly said, "I can't wait for you to come here."

"You sure, because that long pause…." he trailed off.

"Sorry, I was just thinking and I couldn't believe that you thought I didn't want you to come and see me. Honestly, I was just thinking about it the other day and I was hoping you would come here," she replied, hoping he would hear just how much she was looking forward to actually seeing him in the flesh.

"I figured it would be easier," he said. "You gonna take me to see this oak tree that you raved about?" She could hear the smile in his voice and it filled her with warmth.

"Oh for sure, I'll show you all the crap I rambled on about. I'm sure you'll be very bored."

"Doubt it, I'm coming for the company really, so whatever we do, I'll enjoy it regardless."

"Jay, that's really sweet of you," she choked out, touched by his words.

"It's the truth, darlin'," he said gently. "I can't wait to come."

"Me either," she replied. "Hey, guess what I got for Christmas?"

"Hmm, a dictionary on the English language?"

"No, but I got you one though. It's all wrapped up with a pretty pink bow," she said.

"Pink? How did you know my colour?"

She burst out laughing at his remark. "Wild guess," she got out between giggles. "Do you want to know?"

"Yes, but let me take another guess. Cowboy boots?"

"I bloody wish, there was no way the 'rents were paying for that, not when they brought me a new laptop."

"Oh nice, you mean I won't have to wait an age for it to boot up with you texting me, telling how close it is to loading up?"

"You sound almost disappointed, Jay," she said.

"Not for the length of time it takes to load up, but the text messages won't happen, and you stressing via text is always amusing."

"Glad I amuse you, Jay," she answered with a groan as she heard her mum calling her. "I've gotta go, the mother is shouting at me."

"You better go, wouldn't want you to get into trouble," he mused. "She might take away your alcohol and you'll have to endure the Queen's speech sober."

"She wouldn't dare!" she cried in a panicked voice. "I'll Skype you later, Jay."

"Bye darlin'."

With a smile on her face, she pocketed her phone and made her way downstairs. Bypassing the living room, she went into the kitchen and poured herself another drink, ignoring her mother's questioning eye. Picking up her smokes, she lit up as she headed outside into the back garden.

Sitting on the edge of the bench, she inhaled deeply, smiling to herself at the prospect of him being here very soon. Crossing an arm over her chest and resting her right elbow on her knee, she blew the smoke out wondering just where Jasper would stay when he got here.

Of course, she would love for him to stay with her. Emma wouldn't be a problem, she knew that. It was one of the best things about it just being the two of them in the house. They never had any problems with being overcrowded, even if someone else was staying.

Her problem was herself. She fancied the pants off him, human or not, and there would be a high chance she would get drunk at some point. Could she trust herself to get drunk and not make an arse of herself by coming on to him? She didn't want that, didn't want to try and get him in bed and risk everything; his friendship meant the world to her. She didn't want anything to happen that could change that.

"Fuck," she gritted out, taking another drag of her smoke.

How did people go about being friends with someone they fancied the pants off? She had never had this problem. While she had a lot of guy friends, none of them she fancied. Some she thought were cute, but she didn't fancy them. And anyone she had ever fancied hadn't been a friend to begin with.

She didn't want to act differently with him in person to how she did over the phone or on Skype. There, it didn't matter that he was her friend and she fancied him. There was technology in the way and it just made everything easy. But with him being there, in the same room as her, close to her, she was liable to act differently because her crush was talking to her.

*'You are not fourteen, you can do this.'

She was rushing ahead of herself. For all she knew, he would stay in a hotel. Though, that thought didn't sit well with her.

A deep frown marred her forehead, as she decided she wouldn't mention a hotel unless he did. If he did, she would make sure she gave him a list of all the hotels in the area, so he could pick.

Flicking her smoke, she headed back inside. The day passed by quickly, and surprisingly was more fun than she thought it would be. Her nana, while still in complete disagreement of her uni course, wasn't too bad this time. Though, Bella secretly thought that she had been warned to watch herself this time. She didn't mind her nana's view. She accepted that she was from a completely different time and struggled to grasp how it was for women today. Though, even she could admit that her chosen degree wouldn't actually get her job in anything, unless she wanted to follow the path of studying more American history or teaching it, but the degree itself would land her a job.

Most places wanted you to have a degree and it didn't matter what that degree was in, just that you passed the course and had one.

Rolling her eyes as her dad announced the Queen's speech was about to come on and they all should head into the living room to watch it, she filled her glass and made her way there as her phone buzzed in her pocket.

Grinning, she opened up the message from Jasper. _"Hey darlin', hope today's not been too taxing on the alcohol :). I was thinking, how does the first week in January sound? You'll still be off from uni, won't you? X"_

" _That sounds perfect! I don't go back until the 3rd week, so that's all good. How long are you thinking of staying? You know, it's actually been a fun day, though I'm just about to watch the Queen's speech. Save me! X"_ Butterflies fluttered in her stomach as she hit send.

How long would he stay? A weekend? A week? The longer the better for her, but she would be happy with just a weekend if that's all he wanted to do. Though she secretly hoped he would want to spend longer than a weekend.

' _It's actually happening,_ ' she thought as she sat down, holding her drink in one hand, her phone in the other.

Before the Queen's speech had even started, her nana was asleep and snoring. Shaking her head, she couldn't help but look at her phone, waiting for his reply to arrive. Five minutes into the speech, her phone lit up in her hand.

" _Hmm, not sure, we'll figure it out. You might hate me in person. Haha. Darlin', if I could save you, I would, but you've gotta endure this one, sorry. X"_

" _Hate you in person? I doubt it, Jay, I doubt that very much."_

* * *

 ** _AN: So, yeah, there you go. Reviews would be lovely and I'll see you next week!_**


	15. Chapter 15

**AN:** _Hi there. A big thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter, placed it on alert and faved it. Really means a lot to see what you all think about it._

 _It seems a few of you have noticed Bella's drinking. Now, I don't know what it's like over the pond, but over here, uni is about drinking, partying and late night, last minute cramming. Bella is written as a uni student, a normal one at that, and that involves drinking. She won't be drunk all the time and she won't be drunk when Jasper is there. But for most, uni is a time to live wild and go free before leaving uni and coming into the real world. Anyways, just wanted to clear that up, lol._

 _Of course, a big thank you to Laura, for doing her thing for me._

 _enjoy and I'll see you at the bottom!_

* * *

Volterra, Italy.

December

Present day.

Clicking the last link to continue and purchase his ticket, Jasper couldn't help but smile. Seeing the flight details confirm on the screen, he almost texted Bella to let her know that he had booked his flight and he was indeed coming. They had agreed that he would fly out to see her somewhere around the fifth of January, giving her time to get over her new year binge and settle back into her student house.

He couldn't wait to tell her that he had finally booked his ticket, and the thought crossed his mind whether or not he should text her and let her know now. Though, he wanted to wait and tell her when they skyped, so he could see her reaction. So far, she hadn't pressed him about booking his flight, choosing to talk about what they would do when he arrived.

A part of him wondered if she did it because she secretly thought he wouldn't actually go.

If he was honest, he was extremely excited to go and see her, though he was a little apprehensive too. And how could he not be? Not because of what she thought, or suspected about him, but because he was going to see someone he felt physically attracted to.

It was new grounds for him, completely fresh water. He hadn't felt an attraction to anyone after Alice, and the idea made him nervous. It was almost like a date, but not. He kept telling himself he was going to see his friend, that there was nothing else in it and the reason he felt nervous about it was because he was on his own. Mixing with a human without his family was something he hadn't actually done before. Whenever he had mixed with humans in the past, the family had been around. Alice had been around, monitoring his future in case a human became his lunch.

But he knew this feeling of being nervous wasn't because of Bella being human, or even being around humans.

Deep down, he wasn't worried about losing control, nor was he worried that he was mixing with a human. No, he was nervous because he wanted her.

 _He_ wanted her.

After Alice had passed away, he had never thought he would actually look at another and want them like that, but he did. The realisation of this came as a shock, though it shouldn't have. It wasn't as though he had looked at Bella and thought she wasn't pretty because he hadn't. From the get-go, before they had started speaking on Skype, he thought she was a beautiful person, her looks had only backed up and strengthened that fact.

After his long talk with Caius, he had reflected on everything, and not just his fight with Rose. Bella made him feel whole again, brought a shining light to his darkness. She was his best friend, someone he shared everything with, someone he wanted to share everything with. He craved her, _badly._ Though he knew it was dangerous to do so, to want her like that, to have her by his side.

She would lose everything, and was it really worth it?

Was losing your humanity, your friends, family, your dreams for the future. Was all of that worth losing for a life of never growing old, never changing, never having the dreams you once had; killing to survive.

Deep down, he knew he was getting ahead of himself. As it stood, they were friends, nothing more than that, and he wouldn't do anything to change that fact, despite his attraction to her. If things changed between them, if it was something that just happened, would she accept what he was? What she would have to become in order to keep the law? Could he kill her if she didn't?

Shaking his head, he pushed those thoughts away, not wanting to have it weighing down on him and overshadowing his trip. He felt good, felt happy and excited, and those thoughts would only serve to bring his mood down.

Closing the lid on his laptop, he sat back and looked around the vast room that was the library in the castle. He knew this wasn't the only one of the libraries that filled the castle grounds, but this one was one of his favourites. It wasn't the books that appealed to him in there, just the feel of the room itself. There was something about this room that just felt good, and it attracted him like a moth to the flames.

His phone suddenly kicked into life, surprising him slightly when he saw Carlisle's name flashing on the screen. Since he'd arrived in Italy, he had only spoken to him once, and that had been briefly, not giving him the time or the chance to tell Carlisle what he meant to him.

"Hey dad," he joked as he answered the call.

"Dad?" Carlisle mused, "That's a new one for you, son."

"Yeah, thought I'd make your day," he said. "Was going to try and call you again later, but I don't know your schedule, and I don't really want to talk to you around everyone, so.." he trailed off. Truth was, he didn't want Carlisle to be anywhere near Rose when he spoke to him.

"I'm not at home, not long got off my shift and I've gone for a hunt. I thought this would be the best time to talk to you without prying eyes or ears for that matter," Carlisle said. "How are you, Jasper?"

"Good, great in fact. I've just booked a flight to England." He couldn't help but smile as he told Carlisle. "I'm off to Nottingham."

"To see Bella?" Carlisle asked with a surprised tone. "I guess it was only a matter of time until you went to her. I almost thought you would head there from here, but that's not really your style, is it? Not after what she asked you."

His mind was cast back to that phone call with Bella.

" _There's something different about you, isn't there? You're ….not quite…." She hesitated for a second before whispering out "...human."_

" _Bella…" He sighed, running his hand over his face._

" _It's okay, Jay."_

" _Bella…"_

" _Whatever it is, you can tell me."_

" _I don't want to lie to you, darlin', I care for you too much to. But you really need to leave this alone, please." He hoped she would hear the warning in his voice, the threat that was very real should she ever know his secret._

 _Jasper knew that she would ask something. She was smart and this wasn't the first time she had witnessed things that she shouldn't have. Things that he knew would raise suspicion and cause her to ask questions._

 _He had been lucky so far. Bella hadn't pushed him when she questioned the growls she had heard before. To some degree, she had accepted what he'd said, but even he knew she wasn't completely sold on his answer._

 _What was he meant to say to her now? He doubted he could try and gloss over this. Come up with some elaborate lie to cover what she'd seen and heard. She had witnessed, not just him, but his family, moving at an inhuman speed._

" _It's okay," Bella spoke after a few moments._

" _Is it?" he asked, feeling as though this was anything but okay._

" _Yes, you're my friend, Jasper." He could hear the smile in her voice. "That doesn't change."_

" _Thank you." He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I'm sorry, Bella."_

" _For?" she asked._

" _Everything, really." A twig snapping alerted him to someone closing in._

 _Turning his head towards the direction of the noise, he saw Carlisle standing there, a slight frown on his face as he rested against a tree._

" _Don't be, Jay, don't be."_

" _Darlin', I gotta go. I'll...uh, call you in a few days. But I'll understand if you don't answer." It pained him to admit it, pained him to even think about them no longer speaking, but he had to be realistic here._

 _There was a high chance that once the events of today had calmed down, once Bella actually thought all of this through, she wouldn't want to know him any longer._

" _Don't be daft!" she called out. "This is some fucked up shit, not gonna lie, but I'm not about to blank you, okay? Just take care and call me when you're settled."_

" _I will darlin'." He smiled gently as he hung up._

 _Breathing deeply, he pushed his phone into his pocket and closed his eyes, trying to center himself once again before he faced Carlisle._

 _He knew it would only be a matter of time before Carlisle came looking for him._

 _Jasper had disappeared pretty fast once Carlisle and Emmett had shown up at his cabin, pulling him off Rose. He wasn't completely sure if he was pissed at them for getting involved or thankful that they did. He had gone into a blind rage when he first walked into to his cabin and found Rose threatening Bella._

 _The rage he had felt had completely taken him over, and he hadn't thought about what he was doing when he acted. The one and only thought he had, was to remove the threat, permanently. Sister or no sister, he wanted her dead in that very moment, and there was no doubt in his mind that he would have killed her._

 _As it stood, Rose now sported a few new scars and an arm that had been ripped off, though she was more than likely healed by now._

" _How much does Bella know, son?" Carlisle calm voice broke through his thoughts._

" _What did you hear?" he asked, watching as Carlisle came closer to him and placed a hand on his shoulder, giving him a comforting squeeze._

" _Enough to know that she's slightly more clued in on what we are," Carlisle spoke gently._

" _She knows I'm not human, well she suspects, I should say," he admitted with a heavy heave of his shoulders. "What the fuck am I meant to do now?"_

" _You need to make a choice, son, you know it's the only way, now."_

 _Jasper shook his head, not wanting to think about it right now._

" _I support your decision, whichever you choose."_

"She hasn't pushed it," he said lowly, not sure how close ears were to him. "She seemed to get my warning."

"Good," Carlisle replied. "You've found yourself in rather a difficult situation, haven't you?"

"Just a bit," he huffed. "I just want to be happy, Carlisle, that's all."

"I know you do, son, and I still stand by what I said, I support whatever decision you make."

"Even at the risk of Rose kicking off?" he hissed slightly.

"Even at that risk. Rose will just have to accept how things are, and that you do not belong to her." He could hear Carlisle's regretful tone.

"I've never belonged to her, Carlisle," he snapped. "She's become deluded, and I seriously think that she's lost her marbles and become unhinged."

"It's deeply concerning," Carlisle admitted. "Emmett, despite the anger he feels for you trying to destroy his mate, is worried about you and her actions."

' _Emmett...'_ he thought. Hearing his brother's name caused a shot of pain in him. He had hurt his brother by attacking Rose; something that he hadn't really thought about until now. The rage which consumed him that day had blocked out any rational thought. After talking to Carlisle, he had left the family there and then. Only stopping by his cabin to grab a few things before leaving.

He knew they were all in the house, and the family was split down the middle; causing a flurry of negative emotions that he hadn't wanted to deal with. That, and not wanting to see Rose again, had stopped him from saying his goodbyes. Even thinking about her now caused his venom to boil, so seeing her before he left had been out of the question. He hadn't trusted himself not to finish what he'd started in his cabin.

"I hate that I hurt Emmett by attacking Rose," he admitted. "I'm not surprised he hates me."

"He doesn't hate you, son, he's just angry, which I'm sure you can understand. Though, Emmett does understand why you attacked her. She's not gotten off lightly with him over her interference with Bella," Carlisle said, and he couldn't help but feel a little warmed by that. "He does support you and wants to see you happy. And if Bella makes you happy then…." Carlisle trailed off, not needing to reaffirm where he stood with Jasper and Bella.

"Thank you," he paused slightly, gathering his thoughts. "I know I've been a dick to you, and I know I've never deserved your constant support, but I wanted to tell you that I am grateful that you're there. It's only been recently I've realised just how much you mean to me and how much I value your advice. You are like a father to me, and I'm sorry for all the shit I've caused you."

"Jasper…" Carlisle started, his voice thick with emotion. "You've gone through so much in your life. Maria, losing Alice, you had the right to be a dick, but you are wrong. You always deserved my support, and I'll offer my advice the best I can."

"Don't think I could've gotten through everything without it," he answered, missing his so called father.

"You're missed here, son." He couldn't help but smile, feeling as though Carlisle had picked up on his own feelings. "And I hope that one day, all that's going on right now can be put behind us and we can move forward."

SPK

"I'm not telling you no matter how much you ask. You'll laugh," Bella managed to get out in between giggles.

"Come on, darlin'," he drawled as he reclined back in the bed. "I'm curious to know how you got that name. Come on tell Jasper, I promise not to laugh."

"It's embarrassing!" Bella cried, covering her face with her hands.

"Nope," he said, shaking his head. "You sang Slade to me, very drunk on Christmas day. That was embarrassing."

"Hey! You can go off people you know," she told him, narrowing her eyes. "No matter how hot they are."

He couldn't help but smile and look down a little bit, feeling just a tiny bit embarrassed that she thought he was hot. He knew she fancied him, the attraction to one another was mutual, and it made him wonder how they would be with one another when he finally made it over there.

' _She wouldn't think I was hot if she could really see me,'_ he thought bitterly.

Alice had never had a problem with the number of scars that littered his body, but not everyone was Alice, and he had yet to come across another female - another female vampire, that saw past them and wasn't afraid of him. If Bella could see, could _really_ see, she wouldn't think that. She'd be afraid just like every other female he had ever encountered.

It wasn't just the scars, though. If she figured out what he actually was, would she be so forthcoming? Sure, she knew on some level that he wasn't completely human, but he hadn't really confirmed it. It was easy for her to dismiss it, for her mind to not really think about what he could be as he had never confirmed it. But how would she feel if she knew she was laughing and planning a meet up with a vampire? Something that needed blood to survive?

Someone that once fed on human blood to survive?

She'd run for the hills and rightly so. He was the top of the food chain, she was his natural food source.

' _Just give me that trip, please.'_

He knew he only had that one trip with Bella, that he could play human for such a short amount of time before she realised things weren't right. And once that happened, he would have to leave and their friendship would more than likely end.

It crushed him to think that, but he had to be truthful with himself. What human, in their right mind would want to be anywhere close to a vampire, and close to them freely? No one.

His light in his darkened world was slipping through his fingers rapidly, and he couldn't stop it. In fact, he seemed to be doing all he could to push it away faster and faster. It was his idea to want to see her, he had made that suggestion. It was him asking and pushing, planning and counting down the days. It was like a whole new level of hell that he was loving and hating all at the same time.

"You'll never go off me," his voice coming out husky as he looked up at her through his lashes, holding her eye while a smile pulled at his lips.

He saw her shiver, her eyes darkening a fraction. Her tongue peeked between her lips, wetting them slightly as he saw her fidget slightly. His smile soon turned into a smirk, knowing he was affecting her.

"Maybe not," she agreed, tilting her head to the side, "But," she smirked back at him, "You seem to think I'll hate you when I meet you."

"You might," he said with a chuckle, "though I hope you don't."

"I'm already counting down the days!" Bella bounced in her seat, and that warm feeling flourished in his chest at her admission. "You know, you don't have to land in London, you can fly to East Midlands airport, which is about thirty minutes drive away, or thereabouts."

"Yeah, I checked, darlin', but thank you," he smiled. "And, I have something to tell you."

"Me? What?" She grinned at him and he couldn't help but return her smile.

"I land on the fifth."

He watched as Bella blinked, taking in and processing what he had just said to her. It felt like minutes before she said anything when in fact only seconds had passed them by. But those seconds had caused a nervous ball of energy to knot up in his stomach.

"You'll be here on the fifth?" she asked in disbelief. Nodding his head, she screamed in delight. "Really? Oh my God! I can't wait for you to get here! The fifth can't come soon enough."

"It's six day's darlin'." He smiled. "You sure you want me to come?"

Bella rolled her eyes at him. "You know I do." She beamed at him. "Shall I pick you up from the airport? Or would you prefer making your own way here?"

"You can pick me up," he replied without thinking, causing him to pause slightly. It was too late now, he couldn't take it back, and from the look on her face, he didn't want too. "I'll text you the flight details."

"Excellent!"

"I think this warrants you telling me how you got the name sparkling major, don't you?" He quirked an eyebrow at her.

She shook her head. "No, I'm not telling you. End of, cowboy."

"I'll get it out of you, trust me, Bella," he promised.

"I'll make you a deal, how's that sound?" she asked, smiling sweetly at him.

Just as he was about to reply, he heard a knock at his door. Looking up, he saw Caius standing there, one brow raised as the king undoubtedly heard Bella's beating heart through the speakers.

Concern and curiosity touched Jasper's senses as he held the king's eye. He refused to back down, refused to show he had done something wrong. He had done nothing wrong, no law had been broken, but he knew that he was walking a very thin line. Every day he seemed to move closer and closer to that line. The one which he knew if he crossed, he would have to make a decision he didn't want to.

If he broke that law, and Bella wasn't either turned or killed, he would become answerable to the kings for breaking the law with no intent of turning or killing her. He didn't want to have to make that choice, and he wanted to do all he could to make sure she stayed in the dark about what he was. If she found out, then there could be trouble.

The easy solution would be to turn her if she did work it out.

Still, he didn't like the idea of ripping her away from her human life, regardless of how selfish he had become.

"We need to talk," Caius stated firmly, crossing his arms over his chest. "Tonight?"

He knew it wasn't a question, though Caius had worded it as one.

"I'll be there," he answered, watching as Caius left his room. "Sorry," he said, turning his attention back to Bella.

"Your friend?" she asked. "You know, if you've gotta do stuff, it's cool. We can Skype later."

"We will Skype later, darlin', and yeah, that's Caius." He couldn't help but smirk seeing Bella's lips twitch. "What?"

"Caius? Seriously? Who names their kid Caius?" she questioned. "Unless you're an alien." Again, she said it so low that he knew he wasn't meant to hear it.

' _Alien?'_ He almost laughed as he thought that. If only it was as simple as him being an alien. Though he had to hand it to her, alien was better than her thinking he was radioactive or something.

 _'At least she hasn't said vampire.'_

"Parents are Greek," he offered as a way of an explanation. "Maybe it's a common Greek name? That or they just wanted him to suffer as a child."

"That's just mean." Bella laughed lightly. "Okay, I'm getting ready to head to my house. Big night tomorrow night."

"Oh yes, New Year's Eve. I'm guessing you'll be out getting, what is it you say? Shit faced?" he drawled with a smirk.

"Completely! Skype with me later?" she asked. "I better spend an hour or so with my 'rents before I depart."

"I'll be waiting, darlin', have fun."

SPK

Making his way to their meeting place, the feeling of dread began settling in his stomach. He knew now, Caius was aware Bella was human, and he would force his hand. It was only a matter of time before his hand would have been forced, but he had been hoping it wouldn't be until later, much later, in fact.

There was a part of him that had hoped he could see Bella, make a decision, and walk away from her without his hand being forced, but he knew it was a silly pipe dream, and one he didn't really want. It was a naive and stupid thought to even have. A thought of trying to suppress and ignore what he wanted, what he undoubtedly would be willing to take given the opportunity.

Reaching the top of the hillside, he saws Caius already there and waiting for him, standing with his back to him and looking over the city. As he approached Caius, he noticed the stiff posture of the older vampire. His shoulders were straight and square, arms no doubt folded across his chest. Caius was anything but relaxed.

Standing next to Caius, he saw him cast a side-eye from under the edge of his hooded cloak protecting him from the light drizzle of rain that was falling.

"Frightened you might get your hair wet?" Jasper teased, trying to ease the ever building tension.

"It might go frizzy," Caius replied in a short tone. "You failed to inform me of all the information, Jasper."

"I know," he replied, hearing Caius sigh.

"I'm disappointed that you chose to hide this information from me, Jasper," Caius stated. "Were you planning on telling me?"

"Yes, when I got back from seeing her," he stated. "She makes me happy, Caius."

"I know she does, I can see that," Caius admitted. "Does she suspect?"

"She knows I'm not completely human. Bella think's I'm an alien."

Caius snorted. "An alien? Well, I guess that's better than the truth." Caius turned to face him, "What do you plan? Do you plan to take her as your mate?"

"I don't know," he muttered. "I want to, but…" he trailed off.

"There are no buts here, my friend. You will make a decision while you are there. If you plan to take her as a mate, then this may continue. If not, then you do everything in your power to convince her you are human," Caius ordered. "The human mind is weak, it makes things up and twists reality. You convince her you are human, you leave, and you do not contact her again. Should you fail to convince her, should you later decide you do not want her as a mate, she will be killed. Am I clear?"

"Caius…" he started.

"I am willing to forgo this whole thing, willing to allow you to tell her what you are as long as you take her as a mate. But you will abide by the law, Jasper," Caius demanded. "I'm not meaning to be a dick, but I will force your hand should the need arise."

"Telling her what I am breaks the law," he snapped back.

"The law is fickle at times," Caius growled, causing him to hiss at the king. For a few moments, they stood staring at each other, before Caius took a deep breath. "Listen to me," Caius relaxed as he spoke. "Aro did this with Sulpicia, he played the law to his side and you can do this too. Sulpicia knew what Aro was long before he turned her. He groomed her, brought out the traits he had witnessed in her that had first appealed to him. During their courtship, he told her what he was, and when she was ready, he turned her."

"And you think I can get away with that?" he asked, watching as Caius nodded.

"The law does not state we cannot allow our future mates to know what we are." He smirked. "As long as she never breathes a word to anyone else, and you fulfil the agreement to turn her, you are well within the law."

"I really have no choice, do I?"

"You want her by your side, but it scares you. I can understand that, with what happened to Alice, it's natural to feel that way. However," Caius paused, "She's your light in your darkness, someone who makes you happy once more, why pass it up?"

"She may not want to be what I am, then what?"

"She dies," Caius told him simply. "Though, if she is half as attracted to you as you are to her, I don't think you will have a problem. When are you planning to leave?"

"My flight leaves on the fifth," he replied, seeing Caius shake his head.

"You fly tonight," he told him. "There is a car waiting to take you to the airstrip. The jet is waiting for your arrival to fly you to her. A bag is packed with all you need."

"What?" he asked, surprised.

"I'm your friend, Jasper, don't seem so surprised."

"Thank you."

Caius waved it off. "Go now, I'll see you when you return. And remember what I've said."

* * *

 **AN:** _I know, I know, a lot of you will be disappointed that they didn't meet and some of you may have given up with this fic all together as it's a slow burn. But this chapter was important . I could have cut right to them meeting, but then I would have left a lot of things out that needed to go in. I can promise you the meet is next chapter and it's already written. So, if you wouldn't mind, please review, thank you._


	16. Chapter 16

**AN:** _Hi there! Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter, placed it on alert and faved it. It really does mean a lot to read all the wonderful comment you guys leave._

 _I know a few of you have asked if you will find out what's Rose's deal. Well, it will come to light and were not finished with her just yet, but for now, Jasper is unaware of all that's happening with Rose._

 _Okay, so I need to point this out. My vision of Vampires if a little different to how SM wrote them. Jasper isn't freezing cold, like ice, nor is he hard like stone. To me, that never made a great deal of sense, and let's be honest, who wants to go and have a sex with an ice poll. So, I see him as more room temperature. There is a difference, but she's not gonna freeze if she cuddles up to him. And while his skin is hard, it does move, it just doesn't have the same give that human skin does._

 _A big thank you to Spudz for doing her thing._

 _Here's the chapter, enjoy!_

* * *

Nottingham, England

Present day

December.

Bella frowned once more as Jasper's phone went through to voicemail again. Cutting the call off, she tossed the phone on the kitchen table and picked up her coffee cup. Heading to the back door, she lit up, wrapping her cardigan tightly around her body in some vain hope of protecting herself from the cold weather.

Blowing out smoke, she wondered just where Jasper was. She had spent the night online waiting for him to sign into Skype, but as the hours ticked by she had been left waiting. At almost 2 am, she had given up waiting and tried to call him, only to discover her call went to voicemail.

It had done the same thing every time she had tried this morning.

She was worried about him and couldn't help but wonder if his sudden radio silence was due to his impending arrival, an arrival that up until yesterday she didn't have a date for.

' _Has he suddenly changed his mind?'_ she wondered, taking another pull off her smoke.

She hoped not. It had come as a massive shock and delightful surprise when he had asked if she wanted to meet him, and she had been past excited when he had told her he had booked the flight here. All afternoon, she had walked around on cloud nine, knowing that she had just days until they would finally meet one another. Even after arriving back to the house she shared with Emma, to find that Emma wouldn't arrive until today, hadn't been enough to dampen her mood.

Though, as the hours ticked by and she had awoken with no missed calls or texts, her mood slowly slipped away from her. No, the slow part was a lie; it was slipping away rather fast now.

Flicking her smoke into the back garden, she headed back inside in search of some food. Fortunately, she had the foresight to pick up some milk and bread from the local shop when she arrived back, knowing that any milk or bread that might have been left would have gone off by now.

"Toast it is then," she muttered to herself with a heavy sigh, feeling down.

She didn't want to be a downer, not tonight. It was New Year's Eve, and she was set to be at a house party, somewhere where her mood would be noticed by all her friends and in turn, pull them down. It was hard to have a good time when one of your friends was on a downer.

She had planned to call Jasper at midnight, planned to spend an age trying to get through to him while the networks crashed, just to wish him a happy New year. Deep down, she had wanted to stay in tonight and Skype with him instead, chatting about everything and nothing as the last few hours of the year slipped by them. While she wanted to do that, she knew her friends wouldn't accept her staying in on her own to Skype with Jasper, as a valid reason for not going.

 _'Not like it mattered now.'_

He didn't even have his phone turned on, nor was he even signed in on Skype for her to have that option.

Spreading butter and jam on her toast, she heard the doorbell go. She couldn't help but laugh, thinking that Emma had gone and left her keys somewhere, either here or back at her parents. It wouldn't be the first time she had left them behind, and she doubted it would be the last. Taking a bite of her toast, she headed towards the front door, picking up her own set of keys as she went.

"Left your keys a…." Her words died on her tongue as she opened the door and took note of the man standing there.

Her breath hitched in her throat as she took in just how breathtaking he was in person. An array of beautiful golden curls that looked so soft like silk blew in the gentle breeze. A small smirk on plump, red lips that looked unbelievably kissable caught her eye, and again, she noted that Skype had not done him justice. Then she noticed his eyes, warm and welcoming, a rich colour of molten gold, framed by long lashes that seemed to captivate her, making her almost forget that he was standing outside at her front door.

"Jasper…" she whispered, not trusting her voice.

"Hey darlin," he drawled, his smirk turning into a full smile that dimpled his cheeks.

"Jasper," she repeated in complete surprise. Without thinking, with relief flooding her body, she threw her arms around him. "I've been worried," she said, breathing in his scent.

"Battery died," he drawled gently in her ear, his arms sneaking around her waist, pulling her closer to his body. "I've missed you," his breath tickled her skin on her neck, his lips just brushing against her skin as he spoke.

A shiver of delight rippled through her body at how he felt against her. He felt amazing, and she couldn't help but marvel at the feeling of sheer happiness that raced through her at him finally being here; at her finally having her arms around him. She couldn't help but touch his silken locks, and breath in his scent. He smelt like nothing she had ever smelt before. It was heavenly, and it was on the tip of her tongue to tell him just how nice he smelt to her.

' _He's only just turned up, Bella,'_ she mentally scolded herself, ' _At least let him in the house.'_

"Shit," she mumbled to herself, but he heard it and chuckled against her.

Pulling back, she came to her senses, realising that she had just thrown her arms around him on the doorstep. Embarrassed, she stepped to the side, her hand running down his arm to his hand. Lacing her fingers through his, she smiled widely.

"Sorry, come in," she urged, tugging his hand.

"Thanks," he smiled, dropping his bag in the hallway. "You don't mind me arriving early?"

"No, God no," she cheered happily. "But how? I mean, I was meant to pick you up and I never gave you my address?"

She leant against the kitchen counter, looking at him, her hand still in his, unwilling to let go of it, just as he seemed to be just as unwilling. Jasper smiled, his thumb brushing her hand, causing her body to hum.

"I sorta got hold of it," he offered, "You weren't hard to track down, Bella. I could have just followed the empty bottles here," he chuckled.

"Would you like to stay here?" She threatened, before realising that they hadn't actually spoken about it. "You're staying here, right?" She asked suddenly unsure.

"If that's alright?," he chuckled, "I've kinda dropped this on you, just turning up like this."

"Of course it is," she assured him, "And there is no one else I'd sooner spend New Year's with." Reluctantly, she let go of his hand and flicked the kettle on before picking up her discarded toast. "Cuppa?"

"I'm good, thanks," he smiled, pulling out a chair and sitting down. "Jelly on toast, huh?"

"Jam!" she cried, shooting him a disapproving look. "Jelly is something that wobbles on a plate, not something you spread on toast."

"That'll be jello," he drawled, smirking slightly.

"You're in England, cowboy," she commented as the kettle boiled. "No one says jello here. It's jelly, and this?" she pointed to the jam on her toast, "Is jam."

"Jelly," he mused, "Does me being here ruin your plans for tonight?"

Taking her coffee cup, she pulled out the chair next to him, her eyes running over him, still not completely sure if she was dreaming or not. Jasper was here, days earlier than first planned, sitting in her kitchen. She couldn't take her eyes off him, unable to fully process just how gorgeous he actually was. She had thought he was hot when they skyped, but that was nothing to how he looked in the flesh.

"Bella?" he asked, breaking her out of her thoughts.

Meeting his eye, she noted the slightly nervous look he had in them.

"Sorry, I just can't believe you're here," she answered honestly, "I keep thinking this is a dream."

His fingers carefully reached out and touched the back of her hand. Turning her hand over, she threaded her fingers through his.

"Me too," he replied a little shyly, "but I am here and I'm looking forward to spending time with you."

She sighed happily, a smile playing on her lips. Looking down at their joined hands, she gave them a squeeze, noticing that he felt slightly harder. Running her thumb over his skin, she noticed that while the skin moved, it didn't crease like hers did. Frowning slightly, she did it again, pressing a little harder this time. The same thing happened again, and she noticed that his skin wasn't warming up like it should.

He wasn't cold to touch, but he wasn't warm either. Jasper felt more like room temperature than anything else.

Feeling his eyes on her, she looked up. "Tough skin," he murmured, but his eyes seemed to say something different.

She saw the warning in them, just like how she had heard the warning in his voice when she questioned what he was. She saw the fear and the worry that she might push him away. She caught the almost pleading look to just accept it, accept what he was.

Whatever that was.

Smiling softly, she squeezed his hand, remembering that this was her friend before anything else. Before she had suspected him to be anything other than human.

"What made you come early?" she asked while bringing her coffee cup to her lips.

"Would you believe my friend did?" Jasper answered, leaning over the table slightly, "Me coming now was his insistence."

"Insistence?" she questioned with a raised eyebrow. "As in now or never insistence?"

"Pretty much, yes." He paused with a sigh. "Bella, I wanted to come, don't think I didn't, but if it had been left to me, I would have landed on the fifth." He smirked. "But, I guess this gives us a few more extra days."

"It really does." She grinned. "So, what do you want to do today?"

Jasper pursed his lips and tilted his head slightly, "Just chill?" he answered before adding, "It's been a hectic few hours, and I would just like to relax, but if you wanna do something…."

"No!" she interrupted, "I totally get it. Flying always makes me feel lazy." She shrugged. "Tonight's New Year's eve."

"Ah," he said, dropping his eyes from hers. "Big night out, I remember. Please, go. Don't alter your plans for me."

"Well, I am mister," she jeered. "Screw the house party, we can stay in. I'd sooner spend it with you."

"You sure?"

"Honey I'm home!" Emma's voice suddenly called through the house as the front door shut. "You would not believe the Christmas I've had. New Year has to be…. Well, hello there," she purred at Jasper, seeing him sitting at the table in the kitchen. "Am I interrupting anything, Bella?" Emma asked, casting her a quick glance before her eyes fell back on Jasper.

"Emma, meet Jasper, Jasper meet Emma, my house mate," she replied, narrowing her eyes at her friend.

"So you're Jasper, then?" Emma's eyes danced as she drank him in.

"Yes, ma'am." he drawled, tipping his head slightly.

"Jay? Wanna take a shower and change?" she offered, not liking how Emma was underdressing him with her eyes.

She wanted to get Jasper away from Emma. While she knew Emma wouldn't cross any line, she also knew that she would flirt to her heart's content until she was told Jasper was off limits. The last thing she wanted was to make Jasper feel uncomfortable with Emma practically eye fucking him like that. She would have to have a word with Emma about it, and possibly even have Jasper stay somewhere else if he was uncomfortable.

That thought saddened her. While she knew they weren't about to jump into bed with one another, or even share the same bed, she had to admit she liked the idea of him staying here. Him staying somewhere else would lessen her time with him, and she didn't really know how much time she had with him.

"Sounds great," he replied much to her relief. "Emma," he nodded his head as he walked out of the kitchen and into the hall.

"We'll be having words," she hissed at Emma, before following Jasper out and closing the door to the kitchen. "I'm so sorry, she can be a bit full on."

"It's fine, darlin'," he smiled and offered his hand to her.

Greedily, she took it, loving being able to hold his hand, to touch him. It brought a new set of feelings to her that she hadn't encountered before. If truth be told, she couldn't really work out what she was feeling, just that whenever they touched, she felt stupidly happy and content.

Whole.

She felt whole.

Leading him upstairs, she took him to her room, feeling just a little embarrassed that she was bringing him in there. Biting her lip, she became nervous, thinking that maybe she should have just shown him the bathroom instead. He could have showered and changed in there, without this awkward feeling that was now plaguing her.

Jasper chuckled, and dropped his bag, "Feeling awkward, now?"

"Just a little." She smiled. "I never even gave it much thought about where I would put you when you arrived."

"Darlin', we'll sort it out." He smiled, giving her hand a squeeze. "Wanna show me where the shower is before Emma comes lookin'?"

"Yes, this way." Tugging his hand, she led him to the bathroom and opened the door. "Fresh towels are in there, take as long as you need, Jay. I'm gonna go talk to Emma."

"Okay."

Turning on her heel, she headed back into the kitchen. Placing her hands on her hips, she looked at her friend, who stood at the back door smoking. Raising an eyebrow to her, Emma smirked and took a deep drag.

"He's hot, seriously, hot."

"Emma…"

"What? I'm not gonna do anything, not when you're interested in him, you know this." Emma flicked her ash as she lit up. "But you didn't seriously think I would just ignore that fine specimen of a man, did you?"

"No, but, please…." she pleaded. "He's important."

Emma rolled her eyes. "Okay, okay, I'll be good," she muttered. "So, I take it you're not coming tonight?"

"Nope." She grinned, taking a drag. "Me and Jasper are gonna drink and chill."

"You could bring him, you know." Emma smirked. "That'll really piss Craig off."

"Don't mention him, and I'm free to see other people. Craig knows this, it's nothing between us," she replied. "Besides, he's just got here, he wasn't meant to arrive until the fifth."

"Wow," Emma breathed. "Boy has it bad, but then again..." She looked her up and down. "...so do you."

"I do not." She tried to wave it off as nothing, but she knew that Emma knew her too well.

"Sure…" Emma rolled her eyes. "Tell you what, I'll be nice and crash elsewhere tonight. Give you guys the house to yourselves."

"Thank you," she replied, giving Emma a hug. "I owe you."

"You do," Emma answered as she pulled back from the hug. "You gonna shag him, then?"

"Emma!"

"What? The boy has flown all this way, you trying to tell me he's not looking to get lucky?" Emma shrugged as Bella looked unimpressed by her comment. "Don't look at me like that, I know you've had thoughts of doing the dirty with him."

"That's beside the point. We're friends," she hissed, hearing the shower cut off.

"And your point?" Emma said.

"Can you just drop it?" she asked. "I don't want to make a tit of myself, alright?"

"Fine." Emma chuckled. "I'll not bring it up again. I'll just wait for you to confess."

Moving away from the back door, she heard the bathroom door open, followed by the floorboards of the stairs creaking as he walked down them. Smoothing her hair, she shot a glare to Emma who chuckled silently.

She smiled brightly as a barefooted Jasper walked into the kitchen. Her heart skipped a beat as she looked at him, dressed in loose fitted jeans and a t-shirt, his hair still wet from the shower, making it look longer and darker. He looked so relaxed and stunning, that she almost hated him for looking that good after a shower. It hardly seemed fair. She looked like crap after a shower, with wet tangled hair, and he looked amazing.

Walking towards her, he smiled as he took her hand in his. She felt her skin tingle as warm fingers gently threaded through hers, slowly caressing the back of her hand with his thumb. Her breath caught in her throat at the naturalness of it all; the feelings it provoked inside her. Utter bliss and peace washed over her as they touched; a sense of wholeness.

She wondered if he felt it too as she looked at their joined hands. A soft squeeze made her look up to see him staring intently at her. Those eyes of his, so rich and full of untold secrets and emotions, captivated her once more. Over the years, she had heard people say that the eyes were the window to the soul. Before now, she had never really understood what that meant, but looking into Jasper's eyes, she finally understood it.

Jasper leant forward, his free hand brushing her hair off her shoulder as his nose skimmed her jaw. Butterflies swam in her stomach, her skin sparked into life, leaving a trail of tingling fire where he touched her.

"I left my stuff in your room, hope that's okay?" His voice was low and husky, and she had to fight the shiver that wanted to rip its way through her body.

' _Breathe, Bella,'_ she reminded herself.

"Yes," it came out as a breathless whisper.

"Aww, look at you two," Emma said.

"Don't you have somewhere to be?" she snapped as Jasper chuckled beside her. Emma smirked and relaxed back on the chair. "Come on, Jay."

"Have fun you two," Emma called out as Bella tugged Jasper out of the kitchen. "Don't do anything I wouldn't do."

"That leaves me with a lot now, doesn't it?" she shouted over her shoulder. "I love her, don't get me wrong, but she's embarrassing at times."

Jasper chuckled, his arm sneaking around her waist and his fingers resting on her hip. "I don't know, it could be worse," he mused in her ear. "Didn't you once say that Brits love to get Americans to pronounce words for a laugh?"

"There's still time, cowboy," she said, gently gliding them to the living room.

As they entered the living room, she reluctantly walked out of his embrace and towards the TV, feeling empty almost. It was silly, he had been in her company just a few short hours, and already she craved his touch. If she felt like this now, how would she feel when he went back?

Closing her eyes for a fraction of a second, she tried to push that thought away. He was here now, and she would enjoy her time with him. Emma was right, she had it bad. Real bad.

Flicking on the TV, she looked over her shoulder to see Jasper looking at the collage of photos that littered one of the walls. Inwardly she groaned, knowing that a lot of the photos on there were from nights out in fancy dress. Settling on a music channel, she walked over to him, noticing he was looking at one where she was dressed as a pig.

"That was last year's seven legged bar crawl," she answered.

"Seven legged bar crawl?" he asked, amusement lacing his words.

"Yes, every year it happens. Groups go out together in groups of seven and you stay together," she replied. "This one here," she said, pointing to the next photo, "is all of us. You have to have a theme, and last year it came out that David Cameron, our twat in number 10 at the time, had his willy in some dead pig's mouth while he was away at uni. Of course, us dressing up as six pigs and one as Cameron was the only thing we could do."

"Just a little controversial," Jasper said as he smirked. "Did you get into trouble?"

"Not really, we were warned not to do that again. But yeah, controversial is always fun," she answered. "This is this year's." She pointed to the picture of them going as Crayons.

"Yellow crayon," he mused. "Not as controversial as Cameron and the pigs."

"No, but being a crayon for the night was hard. Trying to take a wee in that outfit was not fun." She chuckled. "Actually, just moving around in it wasn't fun."

"I can imagine," he answered. "Are you covered in glitter there?"

"Yes," she mumbled as he smirked.

"You're all sparkly," he teased, his arm threading around her waist and pulling her closer to his body. "Is this how you got the name sparkles?" he purred in her ear, and this time she couldn't stop the shiver that ran through her body.

"I was drunk and ran into friends who were doing art. They had glitter tubes on them and I covered myself with it, wanting to be a fairy," she admitted as she felt his body move with a silent chuckle. "And now you're laughing at me," she pouted playfully.

"Let me guess, you moved and the glitter fell off leaving fairy dust in your wake?" he asked, trying to keep a straight face. "No wonder you didn't want to tell me, Sparkles, I might think you're crazy."

"Haha," she deadpanned. "Now you know, happy?"

"Very, sparkles," he teased, squeezing her hip. "Now I just need to know where the major bit came from and I'll be all set."

"Make you a deal?" she asked, turning to face him. "You tell me why you had 'Long time dead', and I'll tell you the rest?" she offered sweetly, wondering if his screen name had anything to do with what he was.

"It's a saying, you know, the whole 'You're a long time dead'?" he answered, a smile playing at his lips. "Surely you've heard of it."

"I have," she frowned, seeing his lips go into a full on smile.

Bella knew that Jasper wasn't about to admit anything, and she had been happy not to pry or try and bully it out of him, but that had been too good of a chance to pass up. Though she knew deep down he wouldn't go for it.

"Looks like you've had some good nights out with friends."

"Yeah, it's been a blast," she replied, moving away from the wall of photos to the sofa.

Pulling her foot under her knee, she watched Jasper cast one last look at the pictures. His face changed slightly to one of worry, and she couldn't be sure, but she thought she saw regret flash across his face. She wondered why he would hold a look of worry, and even more so, why she had seen the regret.

Studying him, she saw him smile softly at her as he walked across the carpet and sat down next to her, mirroring her position.

She wanted to ask him what had caused that look, but figured she wouldn't get the information out of him. Was he regretting coming here? Regretting seeing her? And now he felt trapped, like he had to stay? She hoped that wasn't the case, that he was happy he was here. So far, she had gleaned from him that he was happy to be here, happy to be with her.

She felt his fingertips trail down her bare arm to her hand. "I'm happy to be here, Bella. It's not that."

"I never said anything," she replied as he drew patterns on her skin, slightly concerned that he seemed to know what she was thinking.

"I'm good at reading people," he answered. "Don't fret, please, let's just enjoy this."

"Okay," she answered, fearing they were treading on that dangerous ground that he had warned her about.

Turning her hand over, their fingers laced together. "Do you have any pictures?"

"A few in my wallet," he answered. "Might have the odd one on my phone."

"Well, let's see them, cowboy," she said as she smirked.

Jasper let go of her hand and pulled his wallet out of his back pocket. Pulling out a few photos, he handed them to her. Feeling his eyes on her, she smiled softly, hoping to erase the uneasiness that was suddenly settling between them.

"That's Alice." It was barely above a whisper, and if she hadn't been so close to him, she wouldn't have caught it.

She looked at the photo, smiling as she saw Alice perched on the top of a yellow Porsche bonnet. Her legs were crossed at her ankles just dangling over the bonnet. Her arms were either side of her, palms resting on the slick paint work. She was smiling brightly at the camera, the sun just peaking through the backdrop of trees.

"It was a gift," he replied, "and she loved it."

"A gift? A Porsche as a gift?" she asked in amazement. "Beats the shit out of any gift I've ever received."

Jasper chuckled, "It was a little over the top, I'll admit. Personally, I hated the thing."

"Not into Porsches then?"

"Not massively," he grinned. "I never told her how much I hated it or being in it. Just look at the colour? Perhaps I wouldn't have minded it if it wasn't bright yellow."

She nodded her head, agreeing that the bright yellow colour was wrong. Handing that photo back, she flicked through the rest of his photos.

One was of him and whom she assumed were his brothers. She was positive that one of them was Emmett, but there were two she didn't know. Raising an eyebrow at him in question, he smiled and told her one was Edward and the other one was Carlisle.

She was slightly taken back at how young Carlisle appeared in the photo. Considering he was a doctor and was his adoptive father, she would have thought he would be older, a lot older than what the photo showed. In the photo, Carlisle looked to be only a few years older than Jasper. It made her wonder just how close in age Jasper was to his adoptive father.

It was on the tip of her tongue to ask, but again she knew she wouldn't gain anything from him. He was still standing against his warning and the last thing she wanted to do was cause upset with him.

"Wow," she breathed as she saw the last photo.

Jasper was straddled over a Harley Davidson, a wide grin on his face, dressed in distressed jeans and a black leather jacket. She couldn't help but notice how hot he looked in the photo as she cast her eyes to him.

"It was my baby," Jasper replied. "I let Emmett ride it and he smashed it."

"Ouch," she said, "bet you were pissed. Was it a total write off?"

"Yep," he said popping the P, "Wrapped it around a damn tree."

Bella gasped at the thought of his brother being seriously injured. "He was lucky, then."

"He was fine, not a scratch on him," he mused, making her wonder how, if he had smashed Jasper's bike around a tree, he could walk away without a scratch. "So, that's it, not as entertaining as your collection." He chuckled.

"I'm almost upset you didn't bring a photo album with you," she teased, handing back the photos.

"Maybe next time."

She watched as he picked up his wallet off the arm of the sofa and went to put the photos away. As he opened his wallet, a photo fell out and onto her knee, face down.

"You missed one," she mused, picking it up.

She caught the look of horror that crossed Jasper's face as she picked it up. Looking at him, she turned it around to face her, wondering what was so wrong with the photo that would cause this reaction in him?

' _Ah,'_ she thought, seeing the picture was of him and Alice. _'Maybe he thought this would make me feel_ _uncomfortable?'_

Which, in itself was stupid. She knew all about Alice, he had told her what had happened to her, and she understood the reason why he would carry around a picture of his wife with him. They didn't suddenly fall out of love, she had died.

Shaking her head, she smiled, "I'm not bothered by a photo of…." she trailed off as she took a better look at the photo with worn edges and creases in it.

It was in black and white, which, at first look, she hadn't thought much of. Loads of people took black and white photos today, but that wasn't what stood out to her. Jasper and Alice sat on hay bales, both smiling at the camera, but it was what was above their heads that made her question everything.

" _Iowa State Fair: 1959,"_ hung above their heads.

' _1959?'_

A gasp left her as she suddenly realised that this photo was over fifty years old.

Shocked, she looked up at him, seeing the devastation across his face. "Bella…"

"1959? That's over fifty years ago, Jasper."

"I know, I can explain," he pleaded.

"Can you?" she questioned. "I want the truth, Jay. You can't tell me that this is some staged setup. I'm not stupid."

"I know you're not." He sighed and ran a hand over his face. "Please, Bella."

She reached for him, placing her hand on the back of his. "Tell me, Jay, please."

"You're right, it's not a stage set up. That photo was taken in 1959," he said gently, "I've been around a lot longer than that."

"How?" she asked, her breath catching in her throat as he shook his head. "Jay?"

"There's no going back once I tell you, Bella." There was panic in his voice, an almost desperation not to say whatever it was. "This will change everything."

"Whatever it is, it won't change this," she gestured between the two of them, "It won't change us."

"Are sure about that?" he asked, his eyes searching hers.

"Who are you are? What are you?" she corrected herself.

"Major Jasper Whitlock, and in 1863, I became a vampire."

* * *

 **AN:** _Aren't I mean? Hahaha! I had to end it there. Good news is, the next chapter is written, as is the one after that, and it picks right back up from there._

 _So, the seven legged bar crawl is true. Every year the students in Nottingham do it. And the whole pigs and Cameron? Very true. In case you didn't know, that did happen and there was a lot of jokes this side of the pound over it. When the seven legged happened that year, I actually spoke to some students who did go out as pigs and Cameron. I nicked their idea haha._

 _If you would be so kind as to review, that would be lovely. See you next week!_


	17. Chapter 17

8


	18. Chapter 18

***Smacks head against keys*** _FFNET Clearly doesn't like the fact I pulled chapter 17 to replace it with this one, as the link is just giving an 8! I'm either completely dumb and messing this up, or its the site playing with me!_

* * *

 **AN:** _Hi there! A massive thank you to everyone who reviewed, faved, and placed this one alert. I love reading all the reviews you guys send!_

 _As most will know, I sent out a cry for help on sunday night. (I've since deleted it, hence why some of you can't access chapter 17) So many of you came forward offering to beta for me. It really did touch me, as I didn't think anyone would come through. I think I replied to all of you, if I didn't I'm sorry. I'm a bit of a div at times. (I blame the two kids)_

 _I've taken on two wonderful beta's, one for this and one for A Tangled Web, as I've really neglected it. Its hard to have someone beta two stories, so this way, I can keep on top of both. FWI for anyone who hasn't read A Tangled Web, its not a Bella fic. She there, but yeah, she's not my fave in that fic hahah!_

 _A big thank you to Deborah Razete, for casting her red pen over this. And to Spudzmon,who is always there as my soundboard, and telling me it's not sounding all stupid. haha._

 _I've rambled enough!_

 _Enjoy!_

* * *

Nottingham, England.

December

Present day.

"Major Jasper Whitlock, and in 1863, I became a vampire." It tumbled out in a defeated voice.

There was no going back now. The moment those words left his mouth, he knew it changed everything. He couldn't help but feel as though it was too soon for her to know, to really know him. In the back of his mind, he logically knew that her knowing now was the best way. It would stop any possible future heartache for them both if she rejected what he was. Though he was yet to tell her that if she rejected what he was she would have to die.

There was no way around that one. Caius finding out had placed his back against the wall. While he knew that Caius would have his back, he also knew Caius wouldn't think twice to follow through with the law.

He had hoped to tell her before he left. For them to have that time getting to know each other, for him to have that time to woo her more in the hopes she wouldn't reject him. But that had gone now. Any hope he had of establishing any form of a relationship with her had vanished. Or so it felt like it had.

The moment he saw her, wrapped his arms around her waist on her doorstep, he knew he would take her as a mate. At that moment, he couldn't have been more thankful that Alice had been right all those years ago about mates. That there wasn't just one, just one that fitted at that moment in time. They just needed to change to find a new one.

There was no way he was going to pretend he didn't want her or even leave here on the friend's term. He had decided he would do everything he could to have her accept him as a mate.

Bella laughed, a nervous laugh that sounded more forced than anything. "A vampire? Really, Jay. Has Emma gotten to you?"

"I'm being serious, Bella," he stated, her eyes full of the unsureness she was beginning to feel. "Feel," he took her hand and placed it over his heart.

Staring at her he watched the nervous smile slip away from her face, as she registered that there was no movement against where his heart should beat. Shock soon filled her up as the realisation of what he was saying was true.

Bella gasped and pulled her hand back quickly, almost like she had been burned. "Are you afraid of me?" he asked, feeling things begin to stir inside of her.

He could only assume what she was thinking, no doubt every vampire movie or book was currently racing through her mind. There was so much that wasn't true about his race, but then there was an awful lot that was true.

"Please, don't be," he whispered, noticing that Bella had gone still, almost frightfully still.

It was the last thing he wanted, for her to be afraid of him. He wanted to tell her that he would never hurt her, that she was safe. But he knew he couldn't force it on her or try and convince her, she had to do this on her own. And it killed him to wait. Waiting as the seconds seemed to tick by, seeming as though hours were passing him by. Slowly he felt her emotions shift, as she began to swim through a whole host of emotions, before settling on determination.

He wasn't expecting to feel that from her. Out of all the things, all the emotions he thought she could have settled on, determination wasn't one of them.

His brow knitted together in confusion, feeling her emotion only getting stronger. She carefully reached for his hand, resting her palm on top his before her fingers slipped through his. A small smile graced her lips.

"You are my friend. Nothing will ever change that Jasper," Bella said, squeezing his hand. "I decided that when I realised there was something different about you."

"Bella…" he breathed, feeling his body relax slightly as a glimmer of hope that maybe all was not lost, began to grow inside of him.

"Give me a few minutes? I need a smoke," she said, standing to her feet. "I can't believe you're him, and I insulted you."

He laughed, shaking his head at what she said. "I've just confessed what I am and you're worried that you insulted me?"

"Well, it's the only thing that's making much sense to me right now," she smiled and dropped his hand. "I need a smoke."

"Take as long as you need," he said with a soft smile.

Watching her walk out, he sat back and closed his eyes. In truth, she had taken it better than he had thought she would, even at this early stage. She hadn't screamed and shouted at him, she hadn't run from him, or kicked him in out. Instead, she had reached for him. Then linked her fingers through his, and told him that him being a vampire didn't change anything. That she was still his friend.

He struggled to get his head around that, how she had decided long before he confessed that what he was wouldn't change what they were.

Bella's shock still drifted to him, but so far, he wasn't picking up any fear. Slight apprehension, yes, a tad of nervousness, but certainly no fear. All he could do was hope that once she had worked this through, maybe even slept on it, it wouldn't change. There was every chance that she would change her mind, that the morning would bring fear. Once the dust had settled and she had thought about it, once her brain finally caught up with the fact that he was a vampire and vampires needed blood to survive.

Jasper could hear her moving around in the kitchen, muttering things to herself about Aliens and motherships, and how this didn't make much sense. He couldn't fault her there, and he knew that to her, it didn't. She had found out that the guy she had been speaking to and flirting with was something out of nightmares. That the guy she had been studying for her dissertation, was sitting in her living room.

The glimmer of hope he had, was still there, but the trepidation of what might happen was slowly creeping in on him. He wanted to go to her, for her to soothe him, and his fears. That was selfish of him, and he had no right to want to turn to her like that. He had to suck it up and hope that somehow he could smooth this over with her.

"Right," Bella suddenly said as she came back through to the living room with two bottles in hand, "Do you drink? Can you drink? Because I need one," she offered passing one to him.

Chuckling, he took it from her. Feeling her eyes on him as he brought it to his lips and took a long swing on the cider she had handed him. "I can drink, but I can't eat food, well, I'd have to purge it back later."

"Nice image there, Jay, real nice." He couldn't help but smirk at her as she sat down and stared at him. "How can you be a vampire? I mean, it's daylight, and aren't you supposed to burn in the sun?"

"No, no burning, no coffins, no crosses, holy water, garlic, none of that will harm me," he replied, watching as she pulled her brow together. "I can be out in the sunlight, but as a whole, we avoid it as it reveals who we are."

"Do you go all neon, with a sign blinking 'Vampire'?" She asked and he could feel her teasing emotions.

"No, not quite, however, we do sparkle."

"Sparkle? As in covered in glitter, sparkle?"

"As in the glowing like a disco ball," he said, "So when I saw your name, it kinda pulled at me." _'That, and Alice told me to look for it',_ he thought but didn't voice.

"I nicked your name!" she laughed, "I have no right to have the name sparkling major. That title is all yours."

"You're taking this very well, Bella," he told her, "I thought you might be more scared."

Truth was, he was shocked at just how well she was taking it, though he knew on some level she was in shock. Whatever he was saying to her, answering her questions and telling her what she needed to know, wasn't really sinking in. She was storing it away, and at some point, it would all register with her. Until that time happened, he would continue to go at her pace with it, answer all he could, and possibly maybe even woo her a little.

"I'm not gonna lie and say I'm cool about it all, because I'm not, not fully anyway. It'll take me awhile to get used to the idea that you're a vampire," she said and looked down a little, avoiding his eye, "I like you, Jay."

That little glimmer of hope, turned into a river as he heard her say it. Smiling, he took her hand and brought it to his lips. Placing a gentle kiss on her knuckles, Bella gasped and looked up at him. "I like you, too," he whispered against her hand.

He heard her heart skip a beat, and her skin warm slightly as she flushed a little. "Can that even work,?" she asked a little breathlessly, as he pulled her hand away from his lips. "Me and you, is it possible?"

"Yes," he answered, watching her fingers play with his. "But it's not as simple as it is with two humans," he started, "When two humans get together, and they split up, they both go their own way. For a vampire and a human, that can't happen. Vampires have very few laws, no feeding in the royal city for one, Volterra, where I just came from."

"Wait," she interrupted, "I googled that city when you were there and it had some saint Marcus who drove out the vampires, are you saying that story is true?"

"Part of it, yes," he smiled at her. "You stumbled upon our secret without even realising it. Marcus, or as you read him as saint Marcus, is one of the ruling kings of the vampire world. When the brothers took residence in Volterra, they ordered that no vampire was permitted to hunt in the city. Of course, the town's people believed that Marcus was some saint for ridding the city of such evil and gave him a national holiday that is still celebrated today. Little do they know, that saint Marcus is a vampire along with his brothers."

"Wow, I had the answer all along and there was me thinking Aliens," she shook her head. "Have you broken a law by talking to me?"

"No, but I broke it by telling you what I am. Our biggest secret is to keep it hidden from the humans, by me telling you, the law got broken," he heard her gasp as slight panic began to stir in her. "However, the law states that if a human should find out about vampires, they are either killed or turned."

"Okay," she paused, her face screwing in confusion. "So, you now have to kill me?" he laughed, he couldn't help it, "What? Jay, I'm being serious, am I about to become your dinner?"

"No, darlin'," he got out in between chuckles, "This goes back to what I started saying. Should you decided you don't want to be with me, then those are the only two options available to you. Though, I hope you will want to be with me."

"But you might change your mind? What if you find someone else? Or I do? Then what?" she asked, her fingers still linked through his. "I'm guessing here that for me, my life as I know is over, and I'll have to be like you, but what if we find someone else?"

"Not about to happen. Vampires don't change often. When we find a mate, we don't just fall out of love with them. That's it forever." he watched as Bella mulled the information over, the rim of the cider bottle running across her bottom lip. "Change is hard for us, it's not impossible, as I'm proof of that, but change only happens when something drastic happens."

"Right," she said, placing her bottle on the floor by the sofa. "I need a smoke."

With those words, she rose from the sofa and walked out the room. Unlike last time, he followed her, wanting to be there when all of this suddenly registered in her, when the reality, the weight of the situation took hold. He knew she couldn't carry on like this, not really reacting to anything to he was saying, just accepting it like he was telling her what the weather was going to do.

The dread was back again, slowly building up inside of him, squashing that hope that had begun to grow. He was foolish for even allowing it to take hold, let alone grow. Just because she had said she liked him, didn't mean she would when it all kicked in. No, she would hate him. He had sealed her fate by coming here, sealed it by even being involved with her.

He should have kept his distance. Stuck to emails, instead of skyping with her, or even talking on the phone. She was a young, beautiful girl, with a whole life ahead of her. Full of hopes and dreams and he had snatched it away from her. Took it without her permission.

' _But there never is permission, is there?'_ He thought. And that was true.

Maria had snatched away his hopes and dreams, she had been selfish that fateful night, believing he would be of great use to her, which he had been. And here he was doing the same thing to Bella. Being selfish for his personal gain, not thinking about her or how this all impacted her life.

 _'Just when did I become so selfish?'_ he thought.

The only difference with what he had done compared to Maria, was given Bella time to allow the information to set in and told her she had two choices.

Would he give it up? Go back and change this, so he didn't get involved with her? No, he wouldn't. His selfishness wouldn't allow that to happen. He wanted her, and had always wanted her on some level, and he was determined to have her.

"Do you mind?" he asked, picking up her packet of smokes. Bella looked over her shoulder at him and shook her head as she leant against the back door. "Thanks, it's been a long time since I've smoked."

"A vampire that smokes, who would have thought it," she mused, "Though, it's not like it can kill you, is it?"

"No," he answered, cigarette hanging between his lips as he stepped out into the back garden. "Back in the 1940's and 50's, everyone smoked. It was massively popular, everywhere you went, people were smoking. My family, needing to fit in more with humans, took up the habit," he replied before taking a long pull and flicking his ash.

"To fit in?" she asked, blinking at him. "But you said that you have to remain a secret."

"Yes, but darlin', that doesn't mean we can't be around people. Just that we have to make sure that no one figures out what we are."

"Right," she replied, rubbing her forehead. "I'm standing outside in my back garden, smoking with someone who disappeared in 1863 and is now a vampire. On top of that, my life is ruined. Fucking ruined."

"Bella…."

"What about my life, Jay?" She cut him off, "My family? My degree? I've worked so hard for that, so fucking hard and now I'm about to lose it all." Bella closed her eyes and slid down the door frame. "I can't make any sense of it. None of it."

"I know," he replied, dropping to his knees in front of her. "You have to know, Bella, you have to understand that I never meant for this to happen. I never wanted to drag you into this world."

"But you did," she replied, a slight angry edge to her voice.

"I did because I'm selfish, and I want you. But I am deeply sorry I've destroyed so much for you." He ran his hand through his hair. "Want me to go?"

It pained him to say it, to even suggest it, but he would walk away and give her space if she needed it. None of this was how he had wanted it, he had wanted this time with her so badly. Yet, in the few hours he had been here, he had destroyed it and her.

Deep down he knew she would snap, deep down he knew that her mind would start registering it all and she would freak out. It was a given, no one was going to be all "This is amazing, change me now", and fuck their future. This was real, with real consequences to actions, to knowing the truth.

"No," she whispered, holding her hand out to him. Greedily, he took it and held it tightly in his, unwilling to let it go for even a second. "Tell me how this is all going to work."

"I'll do whatever I can, give you as much time as I can, but ultimately, you will be turned," he paused, "I know I can grant you the time to finish your degree, but after that, I don't know. I'll have to speak to Caius."

"You're Greek friend, I remember you saying," she said, looking at their hands. "Why does speaking to him have anything to do with how long I can stay human?"

"He's one of the kings, along with Marcus," he said, "I wouldn't have thought I'd be able to give you much longer than that. Law is law, and I can only play it my way a certain length of time."

"Oh," she looked down, "My head's a mess, Jasper. It's like a death sentence, well, I guess it is one, isn't it? My life ends one way or another."

"I'm afraid so," he said gently squeezing her hand. "But, I'll be there, if you want me, that is."

"You know I like you, Jay, and I accept what you are, that's not the issue. It's accepting what I'm going to lose is hard," she shrugged and began to get up. Before Bella could blink, he was on his feet and pulling her up. "Wow, I never saw you move."

"Superhuman speed, darlin', if I don't want you to see me move, you won't." Bella stared at him, and he could feel her questions building, "Strength is another thing we have, as is hearing and eyesight. It's all super enhanced."

"Guess you need them to procure your victims," Bella said, walking back into the kitchen and pulling his hand. "Bet you've had some fun with those enhanced abilities, though."

"Yeah, it can be fun," he replied. "You okay?" He could feel her emotions swirling. Amusement, wonder, curiosity, confusion, shock, and anger to name but a few.

Part of him wanted to ask her about them, but he was yet to tell her his gift and now wasn't the best time. Bella had received so much information from him in such a short space of time, it was only natural for it to make her head spin. He didn't want to add more to it, not until she had managed the get this around her head. Plus, her thoughts were her own.

He knew all too well how frustrating it could be having someone knowing your every thought. It was bad enough that he could read her emotions, gain somewhat of an insight into her thoughts, and even that, at times, felt intrusive.

"Yeah," she replied sitting on on the sofa, "I've so many questions. So many things I want to know."

"Then ask darlin', but it doesn't have to be now. I'm not going anywhere," he offered, watching as she smiled. "Let's just be, for now, okay?"

"Sure," she agreed, "Wanna play cards?"

It seemed like such an odd thing to suddenly switch to, but he thought that she had done it for something normal. Something that wasn't out of the land of fantasy that gave more questions than answers. Playing cards was normal and it would allow her to settle a little bit.

"Poker?" he drawled, raising an eyebrow in challenge. "I'm assuming you know how to play It?"

"I might not have been around almost two hundred years, but I know a few card games, and poker is one of them," she answered grabbing the cards off the side. "Shuffle?"

Taking the cards from her, he began to shuffle them, "You willing to wager a kiss?" he drawled softly at her, hearing her heart speed up a little.

"I guess I could part with a kiss, should you win."

"Well I'm honoured, ma'am," he smirked, splitting the cards one last time before dealing them out. "And what would miss like should she win?"

"Hmm," she tapped her chin. "I Wanna see your fangs."

"Who says I have fangs?" he asked, amused by her wager.

"You're a vampire, Jay, they have fangs. That's basic vampire shit, that and drinking blood. Those can't be changed from what we humans know of vampires."

"Basic vampire shit?," he chuckled out, "I'm gonna have to widen your vocabulary, darlin', I promise not to confuse you, though."

"Vocabulary? My, Mr Smarty pants has learnt a whole new word. It's pretty big for you," she teased, and he couldn't help but smile at her as she bantered with him.

It was one of the first things they had ever done, and, just like he had back then, he loved it. Loved that he could banter with her like this, and even more so now, with all that she knew. It felt to him like their banter was their safe zone, a way of showing that everything was alright between them.

"I can't possibly use too many big words with you, Bella, I wouldn't want to confuse your poor little brain. I know you struggle with the language you created." He laughed as she stuck her tongue out at him. "You wanna turn your hand in now?" he asked looking at his cards.

Bella peeked at her cards and frowned slightly, "Nope, I'm good."

"You sure about that? You're not looking so confident there, " he smirked, looking at his King of Hearts and Ten of Diamonds.

"Shut up and deal the flop," she replied, "I think you're bluffing and have a shit hand. You're just trying to get me to turn my cards in so you win."

"Hand on heart, darlin', I'm not," he said as he dealt the next three cards which contained a queen, a seven and two.

"Your heart doesn't beat, so that's not really trustworthy, is it?" She smirked, "You wanna fold your cards in?"

"Why? You got a queen in your hand?"

"Not telling," she stuck her tongue out. "Turn,"

"You know your poker terms, I'm impressed," he said, dropping the fourth card on the table. Which was a jack.

"I told you I know how to play, be a bit stupid if I didn't know the terms," she said, studying his face.

"Want the last card or you wanna throw em in?" He smirked.

"Just deal," she replied, her face brightening up when a nine came up on the river. "Two pairs," she grinned widely, showing a queen and a nine in her hand.

"Straight," he drawled, showing his King and Ten, "Pay up, darlin',"

"Ah, shit!" She cursed, tossing her cards in. "Still, a bet's a bet." She leant forward and closed the distance between them on the sofa.

Bella's warm lips touched his cheek for a second before she pulled back. He couldn't stop the look of disappointment appearing on his face as she kissed his cheek. He had wagered a kiss, but not on the cheek. Bella laughed as she sat back and smirked at him, no doubt finding his look of disappointment amusing to her.

"You didn't say where, cowboy, you just said a kiss, and I paid up," she mused, "Don't pout."

"I meant on the lips," he replied, trying not to show in his voice how disappointed he actually was.

"Aw," she smiled, moving off the sofa and coming in front of him. He looked up at her, quirking an eyebrow at her before she moved and straddled his waist. "I know you meant on the lips."

Before he could say another word to her, Bella's warm lips meet his, softly. Joy bubbled inside of him, a warmth flooding his chest as his hands moved and gripped her hips, pulling her closer to his body. Kissing her back more firmly, her hands tangled in his hair, pulling it in between her fingers as her mouth opened to him. The warmth of her lips, the feel of her wet, hot tongue, moving against his, was almost his undoing.

Happiness flourished through him, deep rooted happiness, at having her in his arms, her lips on his. He felt whole like he was complete once more.

The darkness he had felt, the pain that always seemed to be just at the edges of his being, slipped away from him. He had hoped, hoped beyond anything, that after Alice he would find something, someone to make him feel somewhat whole again. But not once had he even dared hoped that he would feel complete. It was a possibility that he couldn't hope for, after all, he had been fighting to just stay alive and not allow himself to be swallowed in the pain of losing Alice.

He could feel the change in him, slowly shifting, grounding and connecting himself to Bella. She would never replace Alice, and a small part of him would always love her and mourn for her, but now he felt as though he had truly let her go.

As Bella's soft lips moved in such perfect form against his, he knew he had made the right choice. The right one to confess what he was, the right one to actually come and see her.

She tasted divine. Her taste exploding on his tongue as she began to grind herself into him. The smell of her arousal soon filled the air, causing him to growl at her. She moaned into the kiss, pressing herself closer to him as she pulled her head back, panting for breath.

"Wow," she breathed, "Wished I had've kissed you sooner."

"Me too," he replied, kissing her lips once more. "Another hand?"

"I wager another kiss," she said sweetly.

"Deal."

* * *

 **AN:** _Are we happy? Hehehe!_

 _You know, it's been a long time since I played poker, really had to pull the memory banks for these terms lol!_

 _Reviews would be lovely! See you next week!_


	19. Chapter 19

**AN:** _Hi all! I know, I'm such a fail! I was meant to get this sent off over the weekend, but that didn't happen, and then I got waylaid….and yeah. A big thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter, after FFN messed up over letting me put my chapter in it's place lol._

 _Okay, so, I need to clear something up. I thought I was clear on it, but after talking to a few people, I wasn't as clear as I thought haha. A lot have asked about true mates. So here's the deal, or how I see it. There is no "true mate" thing. Alice was Jasper's mate. When Alice died, it changed Jasper and flicked a switch for him to find someone else who would be suitable. If he was to meet Alice now in this time frame, they wouldn't fit, much like if he was to met Bella back when he met Alice, they wouldn't fit either. It's all about Change here. So, because Jasper has changed, Bella is now a suitable fit to be his mate. Everybody got it? Lol. Feel free to pm me if I've confused you even more._

 _Oh, and there will be no babies! Sorry, but no. I know people write it, I know it was in the books, but I'm not going down that road. He's dead. He can't reproduce. While he can get his rocks off, he can't make a baby._

 _Anyways, a big thank you to Deborah Razete for casting her magic eye over this!_

 _Enjoy!_

* * *

Nottingham England,

Present day,

December.

' _Vampire,'_ She thought as she laid her head on his thighs. ' _Bang goes my theory on Aliens.'_

They had a played a few more games of poker, each time the wager had remained the same until they had decided to forgo the game altogether. It wasn't like they needed the wager to kiss, but she assumed they both enjoyed the premise of it.

As the sky had begun to grow dark, they had decided to relax together and watch a film. It had seemed almost the most natural thing in the world to do, as they sat down with her head resting on his thigh, his arms draping over her body, drawing idle patterns on her skin.

She felt so contented, being with him, that it was almost hard for her to believe that he was a vampire. Even now, even though she knew his heart didn't beat, and that he could move faster than her eyes could see, she still couldn't fully grasp it. Grasp that, or what this all meant for her.

And that's what it all boiled down to. What this all meant for her.

She wouldn't grow old, she would never grow grey hair. She wouldn't see her family again or her friends. She would never change and be locked in how she was now, just as Jasper was. That was a hard pill to swallow.

Yes, she liked Jasper, a lot, _a hell of a lot_. And yes, she wanted to be with him, but it came at such a high price.

A price she now had to pay.

There was no getting out of that. She wasn't stupid enough to think that maybe, just maybe she could. Jasper had been honest and upfront about what would now happen, and only now did she truly realise his warning, or what he meant when he said that this would change everything. It didn't change them, Jasper and Bella, but it did change her humanity.

Part of her was angry that he had come here, knowing what it would mean, knowing what it would do to _her._ He could have stayed away, never even suggested that he came and saw her. There were points, during their talks, where he could have chosen differently; and by changing just one thing, he could have avoided ruining her life like this.

And while all of that rang true, saying he had ruined her life felt too strong of a word.

' _Changed,'_ she thought. That was a better, lighter word for what he had done. He had changed her life.

All her hopes and dreams had vanished in a blink of an eye. One little post for help had changed her life so dramatically. If she had never posted that cry for help, Jasper would never have answered and her life would have carried on as normal as she had planned.

Now, she would be undead. Wandering the earth forever.

On some level, she would still be alive, just as Jasper now was, but she wouldn't have the same life she has now. She would part ways with all her friends and her family. She would die and be reborn a vampire, her heart would stop beating, and she would no longer be human.

That scared her.

She didn't like the idea of just disappearing off the face of the earth, leaving her parents with no closure. But at the same time, the thought of them having closure left a bitter taste. It wasn't right or natural for any parent to attend their child's funeral. She knew it would rip them apart, whichever way she disappeared from their lives. Even if she choose not to be with Jasper, she would die. He had told her the truth, revealed their secret and broken their law.

While she liked Jasper and wanted to be with him, she didn't like the choices she would have to make.

She felt Jasper's arms tighten around her shoulders a little, his fingers gently gripping the skin on her arms, reassuring her that he would be there. That she wasn't alone with this whole new image of how her life would be. It was almost like he knew what she was thinking, where her thoughts were heading and the feelings it brought forth.

Looking up at him, she saw he was already looking down at her a soft smile on his face, dimpling his cheeks softly. Her heart fluttered. Those feelings that she had felt the first time she had looked at him, in that old photo, stirred deep inside of her.

Smiling back at him, she realised she was falling for him and had been for a long time. Long before he turned up on her doorstep today, long before they had even exchanged phone numbers. If she was honest with herself, she realised that maybe she had started falling for him when they were exchanging emails.

There had always been something about Jasper that pulled her in.

"You okay, darlin?" he drawled softly.

She realised that she wouldn't be able to wade through all this tonight, or maybe even tomorrow or the day after that. That this would take time to adjust to, and she should, just as he had said hours before, just be. "Yeah, you?"

"I'm happy, very happy. Relieved, really to tell you the truth," he replied.

Confused slightly, she sat up and moved her body next to him. It seemed like since that kiss, the pull to be closer to one another was stronger than ever. Before that kiss, they had seemed to always been touching, but now, now they were on a whole new level of closeness.

"Relieved?" She questioned.

"I don't have to hide now or pretend to eat something. I won't have to watch my speed for fear you might see and ask questions. Part of me was worried how long I could keep it up, before my vampirism showed," he answered while moving her hair off her neck. "I never wanted to hide from you and now I don't have to."

"I don't want you to hide, and if that means you move and I don't see you, then so be it," she smiled, "But I am wondering, how will you feed while here? Will there be a case of missing bodies? You raiding the local blood bank?"

"None of the above, darlin'," he paused to place a kiss on her shoulder, with a slight chuckle. "My family and I are different from most, we don't feed on humans. Instead we hunt animals, which gives us our golden eyes."

"Oh," her brow knitted together. "What sort of animals?"

"All sorts, Deer, Mountain Lions, Bears, whatever game we can get our hands on really. So don't be alarmed if I'm gone one night, it'll be to hunt," he said, "I'm not sure how far I'll have to go to feed, so I could be a while."

"And you have to feed how often?" She asked, realising that she wanted the answer to know how often she would need to feed.

"Every few weeks," he offered, "I fed just before I came here, so I'm good for a while, but it is normally about every two weeks, though being around you, I'll feed more often."

"So you don't take a bite," she joked.

"Pretty much, yeah. It's not that I want to rip your throat out, but the thirstier I get, the bigger the danger I become." She watched his head drop down and his shoulders sag. "Sorry, this is fucked up."

"Yeah, it hardly screams "I wanna date you," she teased, "I should run for the hills."

"My thoughts exactly, though," he pulled her closer, his nose running up the column of her neck to her ear, "You'd never be able to outrun me. I'd have you back in my arms before you could make it to the door, and that's with a head start."

She shivered at his wording, not sure if her shiver was in fear of what he said or fear that she actually _liked_ what he said. Jasper chuckled in her ear, it was dark and husky, almost predatory, and this time she did shiver in fear.

"That sounds like a challenge to me," she managed to get out in whispered voice.

"I'll count to ten," he purred in her ear, before kissing the shell of her ear.

Her insides went into overdrive, her mind screaming at her about what she was doing. She was playing with fire here, playing a vampire's game, a deadly game of chase. Deep down she knew she should be scared, really scared for her life. That this sort of game shouldn't happen, or she shouldn't be enjoying it. But something in the way he held her close to him as he spoke in his predatory tone, and the tender way he kissed her ear, told her that she was safe. That he wouldn't hurt her despite his predatory tone.

"One," he purred at her and she moved, standing up and racing towards the door.

The sound of her giggles filled the house as she reached the hallway, the front door now within her sights. A growl rattled from the living room, no doubt signalling he had reached ten. His growl struck her core, excitement bubbling almost uncontrollably in her as another fit of giggles erupted from her. She was thankful that Emma had already gone out for the evening, leaving her and Jasper alone. She knew she wouldn't be able to explain his growl other wise and it would be just her luck that Emma would catch a blur of his fast movement. Grinning to herself, her arm reached out, fingertips just brushing the brass of the door knob, as she felt two strong arms wrap around her waist.

She screamed in surprise, her back being pulled back and flush against his chest. His chest vibrated against her back as he chuckled darkly at her. Her skin tingled as Jasper's hand moved her hair from her neck and turned her head to the side, exposing her flushed skin to him.

"I win," he purred, breathing deeply against her neck before he peppered kisses all over the pulsating vein in her neck.

"You cheated," she moaned out, loving the attention he was lavishing her neck with. "I reckon you only got to five."

"Why would I cheat?" He mused against her neck. "Even if I did, you'd never know."

She turned in his arms, slightly bewildered that she had just played some hunting game with a vampire. It was completely surreal, and by the look on Jasper's face, she could only assume that he felt that way too. Part of her wondered if he had played a game of cat and mouse before with a human, only the ending had been different, very different to this one.

Automatically, she leant forward and brushed her lips against his, completely unable to stop herself from being so close to him, in feeling her lips against his. She should fear him, fear what he was, and while she was shocked by it all, and slightly apprehensive, she didn't fear him. Something told her she would be safe with him.

In that moment, with her heart pounding against her chest from the run she had just taken, from the excitement and adrenaline flooding her body, she realised that Jasper being a vampire, didn't change how she responded to him. She wanted the man he was, she was falling for the man he was, and even if she never truly accepted how her life would go, she would have him by her side.

"We've got two hours left of the old year, anything you wanna do?" His breath tickled the top of her head as she spoke, his hands resting on the small of her back.

"Hmm," she sighed, her eyes closing and relaxing into his embrace. "We could head into town, go up to the castle. It's high enough that we should see fireworks being let off at midnight, though, the gates will be locked, so we gotta climb over the fence."

"I've been in your company less than twenty-four hours, and you're already getting me to break the law," he teased, his chest vibrating against hers as he spoke.

"I figured with you being a vampire and all, you're not opposed to breaking the law," she shrugged her shoulders, "That's if you're not scared?" She teased.

"Is my vampirism gonna be your go to for all your ideas?" he asked, pulling back and placing his fingertips under her chin to lift her head up.

"Well, I'm a firm believer in using everything to your advantage, and vampirism is now in my arsenal," she smiled sweetly at him, "May as well take full advantage of it, and maybe you could show me some of this super duper speed you have."

"Super duper speed?" he mused, "well, since you put it that way, and you asked so nicely, how could I say no?"

"You can't," she answered simply, "Let's go."

SPK

It had taken them forty minutes to reach the grounds of the castle. She knew it could have taken them less time, but they had stopped along the way, with her pointing out bits of the city that held history, and history she knew.

"So this is the famous statue, huh?" Jasper asked, walking around the statue of Robin Hood, with bow and arrow in hand, poised at the ready.

"Yep," she said, "My mum says that the tip of the arrow used to be made out of gold, but they had to change it as people kept nicking it," she told him. "Don't know if it's true or not."

"It's an impressive statue," he replied, studying it. "Symbol of Nottingham."

Before now, she had never really taken much interest in the history of it, She knew it, of course, just like any one who had grown up in the city knew it, but it had always seemed so boring. Legends based on a character that no one knew for sure was real or not. Now, though, watching Jasper take in the history of the city she grew up, she gained a whole new level of respect for it.

"He's known throughout the world, and no one even knows if he was real," she said, watching as Jasper mimicked the pose next to Robin Hood. "I swear that statute compels you to do that pose," she got out in between chuckles, "Stay still, lemme take a picture."

"You think I look good as Robin Hood," he asked as she got out her phone.

"Better looking for sure," she said capturing the image. "I never believed that Robin Hood could have been real, that it was just folklore, but now I'm not so sure."

"Why?" He asked, moving away from the statute and coming by her side.

"Well, up until today, I thought that Vampires was just something out the books," she answered. "I mean just a few hours ago, I found out that vampires were real. So if they're real, there's every chance that Robin Hood was real too."

"True, there's always some element of truth in every legend, tale or folklore," he replied.

"I'm guessing other things are real too, things that go bump in the night," she questioned as Jasper smirked. "I don't want to know, finding out that vampires are real is enough information for one day."

"You sure? I could tell you about what supernatural things lurk the streets at night," he mused as she shot him a look.

"You remember those pubs I told you about?" She asked, changing the direction of their conversation as they passed the Ye Olde Trip to Jerusalem pub.

"Yeah?" he asked.

"There's one over there, and the other two are just over Maid Marian way," she said as she began to walk towards the castle entrance. "Remember the cursed galleon? It's in that pub."

"Really?" Jasper asked, turning his head to the direction of the old pub. "We'll have to come back during the day and you can show me. Wouldn't mind seeing this cursed galleon. It's the pub that's built into the castle rock, right?"

"You remembered," she smiled, warmed by the fact that he had taken an interest in what she had said all those weeks ago.

"Of course I remembered, darlin', I remember everything you told me," he offered her his arm up the steep hill.

She took it, linking her arm through his. It struck her just how old fashioned the gesture was. It wasn't often that you saw a man and a woman walking with their arms linked, and those she had seen doing it, tended to be old. Even though the gesture seemed so old, and out of place, it seemed perfectly normal for Jasper to do it.

"You gonna offer to clean it?" she asked, snuggling into him a little closer, "It's not like it could curse you and you'll die some mysterious death."

"Um, no?" He replied, "I'm not touching it, just because I'm immortal, doesn't mean I can't be killed. It's just very hard to kill me."

"Ah, so vampires are hard to kill, then?"

"Impossible for a human to kill us, but," he paused slightly, glancing a side eye at her. "I'm harder to kill than the average vampire."

"Bit sure of yourself there, aren't you, Jay?" she teased, "You don't have to impress me like that."

I wasn't, just stating facts," he kissed her temple, "I'll tell you another time."

"Okay, are you gonna tell me how you went missing? Because you know I'm dying to know." And she was, she had spent so long learning his career for her paper, guessing what had happened to the young major, that she wanted to know how he went missing. "I'll not add it to my paper."

"It'll certainly be an eye opener," he smiled, "It's all tied in, darlin, I tell you one, I tell you all," he said, "So, that pub, we gonna go?"

"I'll take you to that pub, all of them, Jay, and Wollaton Hall. They filmed bits of one of the Batman movies there," she informed him.

"No shit, really?" Jasper asked slightly shocked by that information.

"Yeah, Dark Knight Rises, I think. Anyway, the city got a real buzz over that one. They used the front of it as Wayne Manor. Did you know that Nottingham actually has a town called Gotham in it?" She asked as they rounded the slight bend to the entrance.

She looked at Jasper, wondering if he had actually heard her as he looked round, his eyes slightly narrowed. He had gone so still and it unnerved her slightly, seeing him act that way. Before she could ask him what was wrong, his arms wrapped around her waist and he jumped, clearing the fence in one move.

Her heart raced, a slight squeal leaving her lips as her feet touched the ground on the other side. "Jesus, Jay!"

Jasper chuckled, "What? You wanted in, and I got us in."

"A little notice next time, I thought something was wrong," she breathed, placing her hand on her racing heart, "You're such an arse," she muttered, catching his smirking face.

"You wanted to see my vampirism, darlin," he drawled, pulling her into his arms, "Are you okay?" He whispered just before his lips brushed hers just once.

"It was a rush," she mumbled, pressing her lips more firmly against his.

As his tongue swept across her lips and touched hers, she moaned into the slow kiss. Kissing Jasper was nothing like she had experienced before, there was no rush, no urgency. No suddenly flare of frenzy movement. Yet, so much was poured into the kiss, so many emotions that made her head spin. It all felt like things were connecting on a deeper level, that they were connecting deeper.

As their kiss ended, a smile graced her lips, knowing that despite everything that she had learned in the last 24 hours, fate had brought them together.

And she couldn't be happier than she was right now.

" I feel it too, darlin'," he breathed, the tip of his nose brushing against hers.

"You do?" She stepped back slightly,"You always seem to know what I'm feeling."

"That's because I do," he smiled as they began to walk up to the cliff side of the castle. "I'm an empath."

"A what?" She was taken back slightly by his admission.

"I feel what you or anyone else for that matter feels." Embarrassment flooded her at that thought.

She had figured out that with his enhanced smell, he would have smelt just how turned she had gotten at times, but now to know that he had actually felt her lusting after him, even before their kiss, embarrassed her.

"Don't be embarrassed, you're emotions are very flattering," he smirked as they reached the stone wall of the chiff. "And it's not as though what you felt hasn't mirrored what I've felt."

"Damn," she muttered, "I guess I'll never be able to perv over you without you knowing."

"Fraid not, darlin'," he said, coming to stand behind her. His arms wrapped around her waist, his head resting on her shoulder. "You're contented, happy, blissful, slightly embarrassed still, but on a whole, you've got good vibes."

"That's really weird," she laughed, "And unfair."

"I can even the score up a little bit."

Before she could ask him what he meant, she felt a new sense of contentment and happiness wrapping around her, a deep feeling of admiration, want, and desire. She gasped at the intensity of what she could feel, and she was sure she could feel wisps of love tangled into it all. Turning her head to the side to look at him, she stared at him in amazement, loving that she could feel what he could.

"It's so deep," she replied, seeing his eyes sparkle in the low lighting that surround the castle.

"Vampires feel things on a whole different level to humans. We are governed by our emotions so much. I don't know if that's because we don't change that often or because it's how we are made, but either way, it's all deep and with high intensity," he told her, resting his hand on her shoulder.

"Wow, do all vampires have this empathic gift?"

"No, just me, but some are gifted. My brother, Edward, can read minds." Jasper glanced at his watch, "We have five minutes until the new year is here, darlin'. Let's continue this conversation after."

"Okay, but just so you know, I don't think I'll like your brother that much, I like having my own thoughts and their private," she told him, placing her hands over his.

Jasper chuckled, "You mean you don't want him to know your dirty thoughts?"

"Again, who I mentally undress is my business," she teased, "I don't want you even to know that."

"Bet you've mentally undressed me," he purred seductively in her ear. "Haven't you?"

"That would be telling." It was breathless as she tried to not let his actions affect her. She would be lying if she said she hadn't, and now she knew he could feel what she was feeling, he knew she had.

"Have you me?" She asked. He growled lowly in her ear, gripping her a little tighter to him. "I'll take that as a yes."

"Smugness doesn't suit you," he teased playfully in her ear. "And my growl could mean anything."

"Still taking it as a yes," she grinned, as they heard the clock bell's in the city centre begin to chime. "It's almost here," her voice alight with happiness.

She doubted she could hide her excitement even if she tried. Her night hadn't been how she had planned it to be, but it had turned out to be so much more. Jasper turning up early, being able to spend New year's with him was more than she could've ever hoped for. Out of everyone she knew, she was glad she was seeing it in with him.

"Hmm, I'm glad I'm seeing it in with you." He echoed her own thoughts. "Five,"

"Four."

"Three," she turned in his arms to face him.

"Two."

"One."

"Happy new year," they both said at the same time, just before their lips met.

* * *

 **AN:** _History time haha. So, the statue about Robin Hood, I don't actually know if it was ever gold. But I do know that the arrow used to get nicked a lot. It's since been welded to it so you can't pull it off haha. The cursed Gallon. If you remember from chapters back, Bella spoke about it, its very true and is covered in a thick layer of dust. The Batman movie at Wollaton Hall? Again, that's true. They used the front of it and bits as Wayne manor._

 _So, there's another chapter for you. I've slacked behind on this and don't have chapters waiting in the wings haha. I have started the next chapter, so I'll see you guys next week._

 _If you would be so kind, and review, that would be lovely._


	20. Chapter 20

**AN:** _Oh my God, it's been a while, hasn't it? A little longer than the week I promised. Things have been hard here. My daughter has been off school for the last two weeks for Easter. So, where I normally have the time to write, edit and ship off to my beta, (whilst juggling a baby) has disappeared. Thankfully, she goes back to school on monday, so all being well, things will be back on track. God only know how I managed to get this chapter done._

Anyways, a big thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter, placed it on alert and faved it. And of course, a big thank you to my beta for doing her thing. Though, I think she had more work cut out for her with this one as my edits were rushed, (Sorry Deborah!)

 _Okay, it got asked if Rose has some how mated on Jasper becuase of Alice's death and the whole change aspect. I can say that no, she hasn't. That sorta changed only happened in Jasper. But don't worry, I haven't forgotten about her and we will get to the bottom of it soon!_

 _Anyways, enjoy and I'll see you at the bottom!_

* * *

Nottingham, England

Present day

January

"How were you changed?" Bella asked as they walked hand in hand through the lush thick forest.

There was just enough cloud cover for him to be out without him lighting up like a disco ball, much to Bella's disappointment. He had promised her that the moment the sun was out, and they were alone, he would show her. Allow her to really see what he was, what she would become and how her skin would be.

Over the days since his arrival and his confession, he had paid close attention to her and her emotions. There was a river of anger that ran through her, something that he hated to feel as he knew he was at the root of that. If he hadn't come, she wouldn't be losing her human life and being thrust into his world.

Bella for the most part, seemed happy, seemed to be developing strong feelings for him, and he noticed she often allowed herself to become swept up in them. He assumed that was when she had forgotten he was a vampire, forgotten that he had ruined her life. When she became swept up in them, he allowed himself to soak them up, to rejoice in that everything was great between them, and on one hand it was.

On one hand, their newly budding relationship was growing. The first few new steps of a new beginning were flawless. It was exciting, and new, finding out little things about each other. Being wrapped up in each other's arms, both wanting more, but holding back not to rush it, and for that he was glad.

There hadn't been anyone else since Alice, and while he knew he wanted Bella as a mate, he didn't want to rush it. He wanted to feel that love, that deep connection once more with someone when he took them to bed. He wanted her to be sure, to be really sure that she wanted him, and that she was well aware just what bond she was creating with him, a bond that she would feel once turned.

And that's where it wasn't so flawless.

It wasn't like he could blame her, and he knew she would work her way through these emotions and lay blame. She didn't directly throw it at him, but he knew when her thoughts turned darker towards him; when she thought about all she would lose.

Accepting what he was wasn't an issue, accepting what she would lose was a rather hard pill to swallow.

"Stop it," she whispered in his ear, hugging herself closer to his side as she spoke. "Stop feeling guilty, it is what it is."

"It's a big change, darlin'," he commented, "One, you shouldn't have to do."

"Lemme ask you this," she stopped and faced him. "Do you regret coming here and starting this with me? Not what will happen, but us. Two people starting a relationship, do you regret it?"

His hand moved to cup her cheek, a smile dancing on his lips. "No," he answered without pause. "I don't regret this."

"Then please, don't think my anger is at you, I just had plans Jasper, a life I wanted to live. But nothing is this life is easy and nothing ever goes to plan," she replied, turning her head and kissing his palm, "I just have a new life I'm going to live, with you."

"It's still at a cost," he reminded her as they continued their walk.

They had gotten up early and Bella had brought him to Sherwood Forest, deciding that today she was going to start showing him all the things she had told him about in those early days of emails. He was looking forward to seeing the Major oak, and if it was how she had said, and it would be anti-climatic. Bella had laid claim to that even in the car here.

If he was honest, he didn't care if it was. They were out and they were together.

"Yeah, it is," she agreed with a sigh. "So, how were you turned?" She asked after a few minutes. "Because according to what I've read about you, you were helping evacuate women and children out of Galveston, and suddenly disappeared."

"Well, that's true, sugar," he said, "I was heading back when I came across Maria and her two sisters. They were by the side of the road. I remember wondering if they had gotten lost; should've been in the last party of women and children. It even occurred to me that maybe they had missed the leave of the city and had decided to go it alone," his head tilted up towards the sky slightly, a sigh leaving him before he continued. "Back then, seeing women by the side of the road, at night, was just unheard of. Being the gentleman I am, I dismounted my horse and offered my aid."

"You remember that night clearly?" Bella's asked as they continued their slow walk through the forest.

"I don't hold many memories from my human life, but I remember that night as though it was yesterday," he told her.

"So, I'll lose my memories?" She asked shocked, stopping in her tracks. "I won't remember much other than when I die?" He felt the turn in her emotions as she looked down at her hands and back at him. "I really will lose everything."

"Bella…" he trailed, feeling her fingers slipping away from his, and she turned away from him.

He wished he could tell her that she wouldn't, that she would remember her life as it was now, but he couldn't. There was no guarantee when the change took place on what you would remember. Alice remembered nothing from her life, yet his other siblings did. Some retained more than others.

"It's just hard, Jay," she whispered, "I get it, I do, but fuck!"

"I know," he offered, moving to her and wrapping his arms around her waist. He couldn't stop the smile that appeared on his face as he felt her relax into his embrace and her emotions calm a little. "No one willingly wants this life, and if you did, I would be worried."

"Hmm," she hummed, "I guess I'm having it easier than you, though. At least I'm getting a heads up."

"Yeah, I had no idea what was happening, and woke up a few days later like this," he breathed, closing his eyes as her scent invaded his senses.

The burn flared a little more than normal in the back of his throat, and he knew he couldn't put off feeding. He wasn't massively thirsty, not by any stretch, but he didn't want to push his luck with her. So far, he hadn't wanted to drain her dry. It wasn't that her blood didn't appeal to him, because it did, and blood was what he craved for more than anything, but the urge wasn't overpowering.

"I can't say what you will remember and what you won't. All I can say is, we will take a million photos, videos. Collect as much stuff of your human life as we can and I'll gladly show you them if you can't remember," he kissed her neck before pulling back and retaking her hand.

"Promise?" she asked, her voice wavering just a little as she spoke, showing just how scared she was of what lay ahead of her.

"I wouldn't lie to you darlin'," he said, his thumb brushing the back of his hand. "This is one scary step, but I will be with you, all the way."

"I know," she half smiled, "So, you were saying that you dismounted your horse and offered your aid," she prodded, causing him to smile.

"The first thing I noticed was their beauty, all three of them were striking. I remember one, who I later found out to be Nettie, lean forward and inhale deeply. At the time, I thought it was strange, seeing this beautiful woman leaning forward and inhaling so deeply that it caused her to make a sound."

"She was smelling your blood," Bella cut in, "Sorry."

"It's okay, and yeah, she was. She was thirsty and wanted a snack and I was applying," he smirked, "But Maria stopped her, she sensed something in me, and asked me my name. When I told her, she said she hoped that I survived and that I would be of great use to her," he paused slightly and snickered, "Part of me has always wondered what would have happened if I didn't stop, or if I didn't sweep through one last time."

"your life could have been very different, Jay," she said, turning her head to look at him as they continued their walk.

"Yeah, I could've had an amazing military career, or I could have died the next week in battle. I'll never know. What I do know is, this life is hard, hard to adjust too at times. I saw things come to life. TV, heating, cars on the road, even simple things like hot running water. I saw it come along and that's sometimes hard to adjust to, knowing that what I'm seeing I shouldn't even be alive to see," he frowned slightly, pulling his brow together, "Well, if you can call what I am being alive."

"Wow," Bella breathed, "You saw so much, like man landing on the moon. Some things must have been cool to watch though."

"Very, but some things aren't" He replied, "Watching the world going to war, the AIDS epidemic. When you lived as long as I have or will live forever, seeing these things unfold and how the world changes around you is hard. And that's the thing; you'll never change, but the world around you will."

" That's a complete head fuck," Bella muttered, "I'll outlive all my friends and family."

"I'm afraid so," he replied, stopping Bella as he smelt the faint hint of salt hit the air.

"Sorry," she mumbled, "I'm just…" she shrugged, "I don't know."

"I know." Without saying another word, he pulled her into a hug.

Holding her tightly against him, he wished he hadn't been so selfish, so foolish as to do this. He was destroying her life, and for what? So he didn't have to live alone for all eternity.

Errant thoughts ran through his mind. The thought of what he should have done all those years ago. How he should have gone straight for Maria and dealt with her, before walking into his own pyre. All those years he had Alice; those wonderful, blissful years where he was complete. Did he really need those again? Need to find a new mate? No, he didn't. Truth was, he wouldn't be the first vampire to kill himself after seeking revenge.

A shiver ran through him as the last thought of killing himself ran through his mind. Bella squeezed him back, breathing deeply and relaxing into his embrace.

If he had done what so many before him had done before, he would have never have found this amazing woman. Smiling against her hair, he turned his head slightly and kissed her temple.

"I'm glad you came," she smiled, pulling back and wiping her eyes. "Oh lovely, panda eyes," she commented, noticing the black smudge on the back of her hands.

"Enjoy it now, as that will be a thing of the past," he told her with a smile.

"Err, what do you mean?" She asked as they began to walk again. "Are you saying I'll never have to wear makeup as it will become permanently tattooed on my skin?"

He laughed, shaking his head at her and wondering just how she managed to think of these things. "No, you'll still have to do it, if you want to. Though your looks will be enhanced to draw in your pray. Everything about you will be designed to draw your prey in. Your looks, your smell, your voice. Everything about us is designed for the kill."

"So you kinda like, hypnotise someone then? With all this ability to attract humans in, it's all a form of hypnotisation then?" She asked, her brow pulling together.

"Pretty much," he smirked, "Though it's not all eyes wide open, slowly following us, muttering a repeat of what we said. But yeah, we do dazzle you, to a point where you no longer listen to your natural urges that say run."

"Self-preservation and all that."

"Exactly," he agreed. "I feel it from you every now and then. Your mind suddenly registers the danger that I am, but it goes almost as quickly as it comes."

"You notice that?" She asked shocked, "I mean, I know you have this gift and all, but I didn't think you would notice something that happens so fast."

"Yep," he said, popping the P. "My mind works a lot faster than yours does, we use all of it, and it registers everything that happens. The slightest drop of your heart beat, the quickness of emotions, everything. It's why the newborn phase is so crazy. Suddenly your mind is working quicker and faster than ever before, taking so much in, it's overwhelming at times."

"So, just so I am clear on this whole newborn thing. I'll be crazed with thirst, my mind will work at a million miles per hour. My eyes and ears will be super enhanced that I will be able to see and hear even tiniest of things, and it will all be overwhelming," she said, "Got it right, cowboy?"

"Yeah, don't forget that you will be governed by emotions too."

"Nice, so I maybe horny as fuck one minute then wanting to rip someone's throat the next."

"You're catching on fast," he chuckled, earning a play push on his arm.

"Forgive me for having a slow brain," she retaliated.

"You admit that I have the better brain power, then?" He questioned, a smile playing on his lips.

"I said mine worked slower, not that you were far more intelligent than me. As I pointed out before, you are from "hick land." By design, you have lost at least fifty percent of your brain power."

He feigned hurt, "You wound me darlin'," he smiled as she laughed. "It's a good job I know you don't mean anything by that, or I'd take offence to it."

"Do you know what offence means?" she challenged as he growled in response. "I'm guessing that's a no, then."

"I'd watch it if I were you," he threatened, pulling her closer to him. "It's never wise to provoke a vampire."

"You'll get over it," she breathed, her breath hitching slightly, "Besides, I doubt you'd kill me."

"Oh really?" he whispered in her ear, nipping the lobe slightly with teeth. "That's where you're wrong. You'll die and be reborn by my hands." He couldn't help but smirk against her neck, hearing her heartbeat pick up its tempo.

"And how're you going to do that?" She asked in a breathless pant as he attacked her neck.

"I've got many ideas, some are a lot better than others." The seductive tone of his voice caused her to shiver and press herself closer to him.

A growl rattled in his throat, feeling her body press closer to him. Inviting him, calling to him to take her. The threads of his control were slipping rapidly through his fingers; the want, the desire, the longing to feel once more, was clawing at him. But he knew he couldn't, not here, and not now.

There was no doubt that he wanted her, and he knew she wanted him just as much, but it was too soon. He didn't want to rush this, to create such a bond, such a connection to someone who had only really just met. They may have spent weeks talking, emailing, calling each other up; they may both want this, but the reality was, he had been in Bella's company less than a week.

All of this, coupled with the fact he needed to hunt, made him pull it back, but only just. Jasper knew he needed to be well fed to even attempt to sleep with her. It wasn't as though he had never been with a human, but back then, he wasn't actually thinking about that human's welfare.

It was something that, even now, he was still ashamed of. How he had mixed blood and sex together, how he had killed those women in the throes of ecstasy.

He was thirsty, and taking her to bed right now, could and would spell disaster.

"Sorry," he groaned, pulling back. "I really need to hunt."

"You want to suck my blood?" Bella joked in her best Dracula voice, causing him to chuckle and shake his head.

He was thankful though, for her wit and comment, to ease the tension that could have quickly appeared with his comment. It was callous of him to have said, to have acted as though it was normal. It was far from normal, yet with her, with Bella, everything seemed normal.

Even though she had joked and lightened the mood, he could feel her worry, her slight apprehension at the situation. It was natural of course to sense the danger he posed. Her instinct to survive had kicked in, and the realisation of it all dawned on her.

"I could answer that with a real good come back, but given the situation at hand, I'm gonna leave it," he replied.

"Am I getting to you that much?" She purred as she passed him.

"Shut up, Bella," he snapped playfully as she laughed at him.

"Were you disappointed that you weren't like Dracula at all? You know, the whole burning by the sun and sleeping in coffins? That cool accent?" Bella asked as he jogged up beside her.

"Hey, what's wrong with my accent?" He pouted, "And besides, you'd only have that accent if you came from that area, darlin'."

"True, but you've gotta admit the whole sleeping in coffins is kinda cool."

"Would be better than sparkling like a disco ball," he joked, "But, as I said before, there has to be some truth in legends. And the truth about vampires is drinking blood and living forever."

"I can't wait to see you sparkle, though."

"It'll be anti-climatic," he repeated her words as they rounded the last bend on the path.

"Bit like that, then," Bella pointed at the major oak as it came into view. "See?"

"Oh I don't know, there's something mystical about it," he replied, taking in the sheer size of the tree. "How many support beams?" He joked, "Does it really need that many?"

"Welcome to England!" Bella declared, "Home of health and safety to the extreme."

"Yeah? I noticed you guys lack the whole plug sockets in bathrooms."

"No one ever tell you that electric and water don't mix?" She replied, "Though why on earth would you want to dry your hair in a room that's boiling hot from taking a shower? Surely, you just sweat a shit load and then it defeats the whole point of taking a shower?"

"I have no idea. They weren't around when I was human darlin', and vampires don't sweat, so…" he trailed with a shrug of his shoulders, "But I see your point."

"No longer sweating will be good," Bella mused, "So? What do you think?" She asked, tipping her head towards the major oak tree.

"It's impressive," he remarked, slowly walking around the massive oak tree and taking it all in.

The tree itself was impressive, a lot bigger than he had thought it would actually be. Over the years, he had heard about the Tale of Robin Hood, just like everyone else, and had often tried to picture just what size the tree was. Though, standing by it, taking in its heavy form and sheer girth of size, he knew that he had been way off.

Slowly moving around the tree, he came to where the opening of the tree was. Disappointment crept in as he saw just how small the hole was. It was clear that the age of the tree, coupled with its weight, was slowly pushing it closed, and while he knew this and could easily work it out, the disappointment crept in slightly.

"I'm disappointed the entrance isn't really there now," he admitted as Bella came beside him and rested her head on his shoulder.

"Yeah, it's slowly closing," Bella said, "I remember coming here as a kid, the hole was a little bigger. You could actually fit inside it, though I think that's why they had the fence around it," she commented, "It's no longer here."

"Understandable, the tree is what? Eight hundred - a thousand years old," he titled his head slightly, "Yeah, I reckon more towards the thousand mark."

"You can tell?" Bella asked the shock she felt making him smile.

"Yeah, well, to a point. Remember, vampire minds work faster than humans do. I can see more, take in the age better and work it out," he shrugged, "Of course, it's just a rough guess, but I would say it's more towards the thousands mark."

"Wow," Bella breathed, turning her attention back to the tree. "I knew it was old, but…."

"It's amazing it's stayed standing all these years," he admired, "Though, those beams are helping it."

"I always thought this place was pretty crap," Bella confessed, "But, I'm seeing it in a whole new light. I guess, seeing you take it in and appreciate it makes me look at it differently."

"I think everyone feels that way, at some point, about things that are in their home state," he offered, causing Bella to laugh. "What?"

"County, or city, not state," she said with a slight giggle, "We don't have states here, Cowboy."

"Ah, yeah, but this place is tiny. Would be pointless having states here, I'm almost surprised that they bothered to give out different countries," he teased.

"We may be tiny, but we're not that small you know," Bella defended.

"Oh I don't know, your little country could fit almost three times into the state of Texas alone." Bella gasped as he said it, causing him to smile, "I googled it. It's something like, 2,86 UK's, so almost three times."

"That's bonkers," Bella shook her head, "Why would you google that?"

"Boredom," he shrugged as they moved towards a bench near the tree. "I had a lot of time to kill between our talks, so I googled stuff."

"I really want to say that you're weird for googling that, but I know I would have if I ever thought of it," she answered, "It's a shame it's not spring or summer, the tree would look a lot better and not so bare."

"Maybe next time," Jasper replied with a half smile, "You cold?"

"Nah, I'm good. It's not really that cold today, and besides…" She smiled, opening her bag and pulling out a small flask, "I brought coffee."

"I thought you did," he said, watching as Bella pulled a cup. "Bet you made a good girl scout."

He laughed as Bella frowned and nudged him. "I was a girl guide, actually."

"Ooh, there's a difference?"

"Fucked if I know. I just went for a mess around with my friends, and my parents were happy." He watched as her eyes closed for a fraction of a second as she took a drink. "God, I'm gonna miss coffee."

"You can still drink it. After all, I still drink beer and you've seen me drink it."

"Yeah, but beer is beer. Coffee? That's a whole new league and I doubt it will taste as good as it does now."

"Hmm," he replied, taking the small cup from her hands. "I don't really remember coffee from my human days, however," he murmured, moving his hands to cup the back of her head and close the distance between them. "I actually like the taste of it now."

* * *

 **AN:** _So, Bella is a little angry over it all still. It's not something I am dwelling on, but I didn't want to skim it either. I hated in the books that she was so willing to give up her human life without so much as a second thought. But, I will now be moving on from that._

 _The Major oak. It is supported by a shit load of support beams and this thing is huge! Pictures don't do it justice. The mouth pace, or opening where legend has it that Robin Hood hid out in, is closing, all be it very, very slowly. My mum told me that she went inside it as a child (shes 70 now) and when I saw it as a child, you couldn't actually go near it as it was fenced off, to stop all the dickheads from starting a fire inside of it. They have now removed that fencing as its not so open as it once was into the forest. The age of it, I got from google. They have no idea how old it is, and it is just their best guess._

 _How many times the UK will fit into Texas. Again, I googled this, but I had googled it before. I remember talking to a friend of mine who came from Texas. She spoke about how long she can drive and still be in the state of Texas, where as I can drive for four hours and be at the bottom end of England. So, I googled that shit, because... Well, why not hahaha. I did have to regoogle it as I couldn't really remember the amount._

 _If you would be so kind and review, that would be awesome. And all being well, I will see you guys in a week!_


	21. Chapter 21

_**AN:**_ _Thanks to everyone who read and reviewed the last chapter. It really does mean a great deal to me._

 _So, this chapter didn't go to plan, but then again, when do they ever? lol._

 _I've held this chapter back as ffn has been playing up and alerts haven't been going out. Last thing I wanted was this to not get an alert. Lol._

 _A big thank you to Deborah for doing her thing, and making it look all pretty and readable!_

* * *

 _Anyway, enjoy!_

Nottingham, England

Present day

January.

Bella woke to the feel of feather light kisses peppering her cheek and jaw. A heavenly sigh left her lips as she enjoyed the gentle touches that Jasper was lavishing on her. She didn't open her eyes, instead she allowed her other senses to take over. Breathing deeply, she couldn't help but smile as she smelt him.

She wasn't massively good with naming scents, she could tell when something smelt nice of course, but some fragrances were always out of her grasp. Smelling Jasper was no different. If she had to say, she would guess that she could smell gunpowder on him, almost like the smell that lingers in the air after Bonfire night, from all the fireworks that had gone off.

A spice of some sort. Sandalwood maybe? Or was it more cinnamon? Whichever it was, she loved, and personally, couldn't give a toss if she ever figured it out or not. She could hardly compare how she smelt right now. She knew she needed a shower, that she had been sweating in the night and more than likely had a faint smell of body odour going off.

Jasper may be a vampire with his heightened sense of smell but she highly doubted that those smells were appealing.

"You gonna pretend to be sleeping a little more, hey sugar?" Jasper's lips brushed her ear. "I made coffee."

"Hmmm, coffee, gimme," she murmured.

His chuckle rattled in her ears as she felt his fingers skim lightly over her stomach. "Open your eyes, and you can have it."

"I'd sooner have something else," she moaned, feeling his fingers brush against the swell of her breast.

"Me too," he growled in her ear.

Bella opened her eyes, seeing Jasper's face just inches away from hers. "I need a wee first," she smiled, kissing his nose and slipping out of bed. "Sorry."

"No sorries needed, just hurry back," Jasper smirked.

She watched him recline back on the bed, relaxing with his hand behind his head before she bolted out the door and towards the bathroom.

Pausing for a fraction, she listened to see if she could hear Emma at all. Not that her being in the house bothered her, it was more she just wanted this to be more private between the two of them. Noticing that she couldn't hear anything and seeing her bedroom door slightly ajar, she continued her quest to the bathroom.

After sorting out her needs, she flicked on the shower, praying to all heavens that the boiler wouldn't choose now to pack up. She really wanted to be all nice and clean for their first time, and a busted boiler would seriously throw a spanner in the works.

"Thank you, Lord!" she cheered as her hand touched the spray and felt that it was heating up nicely.

Stripping off, she jumped in and quickly washed and took care of her shower routine. As she stuck her head under the shower head again to rinse the conditioner out her hair, she shrieked loudly, feeling Jasper's arms circle her waist.

"You scared the shit out of me," her voice turning into a moan as Jasper's lips attacked her neck. "A little warning next time."

"You were taking too long," he purred in her ear, pulling her closer to him.

She gasped slightly, feeling him hard and ready, pressing against her lower back. A slight tremor of nervousness swept through her.

Bella wasn't a virgin by any means, but she hadn't exactly been putting it about either. During her time at uni, there had only been Craig, and one other guy, and before uni it had been her boyfriend of a few years.

Yet, even though she was comfortable in her own sexual abilities and her body, to some degree she still felt nervous.

The whole first time with someone new. Them seeing you for the first time, you seeing them, wondering if he liked what he saw or not. Though she was yet to turn and see him, she knew that she still wanted him.

Just as she turned in his arms pushing down the feeling of nervousness that was creeping up, she felt a whole new sense of nerves coming from Jasper. Feeling his nerves somehow relaxed hers. The whole notion of her wondering and her own thoughts were mirrored by Jasper's.

It was his first time with her too. And, though she wasn't sure and hadn't asked him, she somewhat gleaned the impression that after his wife, there had been no one else.

"I might not have wanted to share my shower with you. Did you think of that cowboy?" She asked, letting her hands roam the hardened planes of his chest.

"Something tells me you don't mind in the slightest."

His lips met hers softly before pulling back for a fraction of second and then touching once more. She felt his body tremble against hers, matching the tremble of anticipation that was coming from her. Both not wanting to rush this, but wanting more and more.

Slowly, her lips parted as she deepened the kiss. Jasper's tongue swept across her lips before brushing and tangling with hers. There was no rush and no urgency in the kiss, despite their trembling bodies. The raw, powerful emotion of need took hold once more as she became lost in him.

Lips touching, teeth nipping, hands roaming, they explored one another's bodies under the hot shower spray. Every dip, every ridge, every part of Jasper that she touched made her want him more and more.

She gasped, wrapping her arms around his neck as she felt his fingers touch her slick folds, gently parting her lips.

"Jasper…" she moaned, hitching her thigh over his hip as his fingers brushed against her bundle of nerves. "I want you so fucking bad."

Jasper growled in response, kissing and nipping at her neck. Her body felt in overdrive, completely overpowered by the sensations that Jasper was evoking in her. Bella was sure that she had never felt anything like this before. The sheer burning desire to connect with someone so intimately.

Her hand moved down, following the trail of water that ran from the shower head and down his body. Gently, her fingers danced up and down the hard length of his cock, feeling him twitch and throb in response.

"Stop," Jasper panted out against her neck, "I'll cum if you do that."

"That's not a bad thing, is it?" she teased him in a husky voice, full of desire.

"I want to be in you," he said, cutting the shower off.

Before she could really register it, she found herself in his arms then suddenly on her bed. Their bodies still wet from the shower as she felt him slowly enter her. She gasped, her hands splaying down his back as her body welcomed him deep inside her.

"Jasper…" she managed to say, searching for his hand.

She found it almost instantly, almost as though he was looking for hers, needing that touch to anchor one another. To her, it felt like something else was happening, a connection was being made, an answering to a call, of giving and receiving, of being in love.

He moved slowly, thrusting deeply into her, pushing her closer and closer to some unknown edge that she never knew existed before. Bella knew, knew that whatever this edge was, would be like nothing she had ever experienced before.

She felt so connected to him, almost as though she knew him on some spiritual level. Their souls seemed to connect, forming and reshaping. There was a pain inside of him, she felt it seep into her as they moved, and she felt her own body respond to his pain. Wrapping him up, and covering him in a thick blanket of love, letting him know she was there.

"I love you," Jasper whispered as his lips met hers.

Warmth spread inside of her, hearing those words. Words that she knew she felt for him before now. Words that she wanted to hear from him.

"I love you," she replied, knowing that she had never spoken a truer word.

Her back arched as the first trembles of her orgasm approached. Jasper's pace picked up a fraction, gripping her tighter to him. She felt Jasper's lips trail her neck, and instinctively, she moved her head granting him more access.

His teeth pierced her neck, and she lost control. Her body shook as a silent cry of joy left her. Wave after wave of pleasure crashed through her. Her body singing, her soul rejoicing as she felt him cum seconds after her.

"Wow," she panted, feeling Jasper kiss slowly up her neck. "That was…."

"Amazing?" He chuckled in her ear. "Incredible?"

"Spiritual, amazing, incredible, soul connecting," she said, moving with him so they laid side by side, legs still entwined, hands still holding.

Bella didn't want to let this moment go, this connection that she felt; how alive she felt.

"That's because it was," he murmured, letting go of one of her hands to touch her neck. "My mating mark on you."

"Is that what it is?" she asked, her own hand moving and touching where he had bitten her.

"It's a bond, a connection that Vampires make to their mates. It lets you into me, connects your soul to mine. It's an instinct that is in us, and when you are changed, our bond will be completed."

"Wow," she gasped, "It makes sense what I felt."

"Hmm," he murmured.

"I do love you, Jasper," she told him.

"As I do you, darlin'."

SPK

A few hours later, they found themselves hand in hand outside The Ye Olde Trip to Jerusalem. They had spent the morning in bed, touching, caressing, teasing, loving each other, before they decided to go out and see the cursed galleon.

Jasper had informed her that the next few days after today would be sunny, and they wouldn't be able to go out much in the daytime. Bella couldn't say that she didn't like the idea of being stuck inside with Jasper for a few days, in fact, she loved the idea.

"How you feeling?" she asked, wondering if Jasper's enhanced senses and his gift would pick up on the strange aura that surrounded the pub.

"Hmm, there's definitely something."

"Come on, I'll buy you a pint and show you the galleon. They have cellar tours if you wanna go on one?" She had never been on one herself, though she had often been tempted to go. "Just don't leave me, or play any tricks on me."

"I won't darlin'," he reassured.

Stepping into the pub, she felt Jasper tense for a second before relaxing. She wondered if it was because of the small space and humans or the ghosts that were rumoured to linger. Maybe it was a combination between the two, she wasn't sure.

"Hi, what can I get you?" the man behind the bar said.

"Hiya," Bella smiled, "What ciders you got?"

"Oh, cider drinkers," the man smiled, "Sweet or dry?"

"Sweet for me, Jay?"

"Dry, please."

"American? Come to see the cursed galleon?" he asked, pouring four little shot glasses of cider. "These two are sweet, these are dry. Give em a try and choose. We do have Strongbow on tap, and Kloppenburg if you fancy those inside."

"Cheers." Bella grinned. "Oh, that's nice." She said testing the first glass. "Have you got any tours going?"

"You know, we've not got any going on today, but I could sort out one for you guys if you like?"

"That would be great, thanks," Jasper said, his eyes casting around the room. "It's got a strange feel to it."

"Yeah, but you get used to it. The cellars are by far the worst," he said. "I'm Karl, pub landlord, by the way."

"Bella."

"Jasper."

"I'll let you guys pick and then I'll show you around, it's a little dead at the moment."

"Can I have the second one please," Bella asked.

"Sure, pint or half?" Karl asked.

"Pint please," she said, "I may need it for the tour."

"Ah, a first timer, huh?" Karl asked, "There's not many locals that haven't done this tour before."

"Bella's a little scared," Jasper smirked, "Though, she thinks it would be funny for me to touch that cursed galleon."

"It wouldn't be wise," Karl said, pouring Bella's drink. "The cleaner who placed it in the glass case, didn't even touch it and died within twelve months," Karl placed Bella's pint down, "And for you, sir?"

"I'm not fussy" Jasper said, "Either will do."

"You okay?" she asked, noticing that Jasper was starting to look uncomfortable.

Glancing around the pub, she noticed that there was only an old boy sitting in the far corner, nursing what looked like a pint of mild, while he flicked through the local paper. Slowly, her hand slid down his arm and into his hand, giving him a little squeeze.

"Yeah, it's just…"

"Something there, right?" Karl said, "You seem to be more open than your girlfriend here. Maybe you have a touch of the old gift."

"Maybe," Jasper mused, and Bella snorted.

"You know, before I took over as pub landlord, I never truly believed all the tales that surrounded this pub. Yeah, the galleon is creepy looking and some of the cellars? Don't like those too much, but after being here for a few years, seeing things that shouldn't happen? I'm a firm believer in ghosts and people who can sense them, speak to the dead and all."

"It just feels like someone is watching me, but I can't pinpoint it," Jasper said, slightly confused as he looked around the pub.

"Ah, the old lady." Karl grinned, offering Jasper his pint. "See the woman hanging above the fireplace? No matter where you stand and look at her, her eyes follow you. It's almost like she's keeping an eye on the whole room. It often makes me uncomfortable when I suddenly catch her looking."

"Who was she?" Bella asked.

"No one knows for sure. We think she was a past landlady or a member of a family that once owned this pub," Karl offered. "This pub has so much in it, and is so old, that a lot of things weren't recorded back then. You guys ready?"

"Sure." Jasper smirked.

"I…." Bella said, suddenly feeling nervous about going on the tour.

It was all well and good talking about it, or even seeing the galleon, something she had seen before, but did she really want to go on the tour? See the cellar's that were connected to castle? She had heard things, stories about people seeing and feeling things on these tours. She wasn't so sure she could actually handle it.

"Relax," Jasper whispered in her ear, "Vampire, remember. If you're not scared of me, then this shouldn't scare you. Besides, I'll not let anything happen to you."

"Promise?"

"Hand on heart."

"Does that even work? It doesn't beat," Bella smiled.

"It does now."

SPK

"Legend has it that hundreds of years ago, a gentleman who entered the pub was made to bestow his handmade galleon as payment for the bar bill when he could not afford to pay," Karl began as they stood in the room that had the galleon in it. "The galleon was hung downstairs in the front room to gather dust and when the time came to clean it, the curse began. People started to become ill and then subsequently began to die whenever it was cleaned. Over time they refused to clean it or touch it, so it's been hung from the ceiling for the last couple hundred of years."

"Why put it in glass? I get that it helps the dust no longer build up, but the dust is still there," Bella asked.

Karl smiled, "The ship is now displayed in a glass case to prevent people from getting too close.

"Makes sense," Bella said. She could only imagine the amount of drunken idiots who might have thought it would be a good idea to touch it after a few pints.

"As I said downstairs, it was put in the glass box a long time ago by one of the cleaners just before they retired. She subsequently died within a couple of weeks," Karl said. "I wouldn't even touch that glass for all the tea in China."

"Yeah, I think I'll pass," Jasper said. "The stairs leading up here, there felt like there was something there almost blocking my path."

"You're not the first person to say that and you won't be the last. A lot of people have been held up on the stairs; say that they felt something blocking their path, and others just can't pass it all," Karl offered. "It's a draw of energy on them stairs at times. Though, it seems to be more active when the pub is busier."

"More bodies, more energy that gets created for it to draw from," Bella murmured with her glass against her lips. "Dunno, I'm guessing."

"Perfect sense, so for your boyfriend to feel it now, they clearly didn't like you." Karl smiled. "I swear it does it just to piss me off at times."

"A ghost that likes to play tricks, nice," Jasper commented. "So, is it the cellar next?"

"Yeah, follow me," Karl began to head back down the stairs. " Carved out from the soft rock, the cellars of the Trip to Jerusalem are like interconnecting caves," Karl started, " Previous landlords have both seen and heard two ghosts, a man and woman. We hear people calling when there's no one there. There's a woman, wearing what appears to be crinoline skirts, seen walking down the stairs into the cellars."

Bella shivered, gripping Jasper's hand tighter as they approached the cellar. She felt a wave of calm and love wash over her from Jasper, making her breathe deeply and relax a little.

"Have you heard someone calling out?" Jasper asked Karl.

"No, but I've heard footsteps and I've caught a glimpse of the woman a few times," he said. "It's uncomfortable down here. These caves have been in use at least since the Norman conquest and probably longer. There's a narrow shaft pierces the rock above all the way up to the castle, which is believed that this was a "shouting hole" to allow those in the castle to call for more ale from the cellars below."

"Wow," Bella breathed, "I knew the pub was old, and I knew a little about its history and the fact that it was connected to the castle, but I didn't know that."

"Yeah, sometimes you can smell tallows burning and it can last for up to twenty minutes at a time before it disappears."

"I can't smell anything," Bella frowned, a little disappointed.

"It doesn't happen all the time," Karl told her, "Come on, this way. On the far side of the cellars is a rusting iron gate. This hangs limply from its hinges before a doorway cut into the rock wall. This is said to be the condemned cell of the castle prison." Karl pointed towards the gate.

Walking through the gates, Bella froze, not liking the feeling this room gave off. She had only just stepped into the room, barely across the threshold, and yet she felt as though going any further would be a bad idea. She shook her head and began to back away, pulling Jasper's hand with her.

"Sorry...It's…"

"You're not the first, even I hate coming into this room, it just doesn't feel right, does it?"

"I'm guessing people died in here, not even getting the chance to be hanged?" Jasper asked, wrapping his arm around her shoulders and gently rubbing her arm.

"Yeah, some died down here because of starvation and dehydration. These men were shackled to walls, commended and left to die. Some of them were innocent men, some were pure evil. It's the evil that lingers."

"Has anyone ever offered to stay the night in here?" Jasper asked.

"You thinking of staying here tonight then, Jay?" Bella teased. "Want to prove you're a big hard man from the States?"

"He's welcome to try and last the night."

"Hell no," Jasper said. "I'll walk into the room, I'll happily have a drink in it, but stay? Nope, you can though, if you want. I know you secretly want to."

Karl chuckled. "A few years back, two local drinkers wanted to do it. They were all full of dutch courage, thinking that they could easily spend the night in this room." Karl shook his head with a smile. "The fools lasted twenty minutes before they were begging to get out and then were violently sick afterwards. It took them a good few months before they would even step foot inside the pub again. And even now, they won't go into certain rooms."

"What happened?" Bella asked.

"God knows, they never said. But whatever it was, whatever they saw, felt, and experienced that night scared them to the core. I honestly thought they would have a heart attack, they were that white," Karl informed them. "I don't mind anyone trying, but I know they won't make it to an hour before they come out again."

"Can't say I blame them, the room just feels evil and wrong," Bella said. "I think I've seen enough cellar now," she smiled weakly.

"Okay, no more cellars. Last port of call, the chair." Karl said.

"The chair?" Jasper questioned as they began to move back to the pub.

"Yes!" Bella said with a large smile. "They have this chair here, that if you sit on it, you'll get up the duff."

"A chair that gets you pregnant?" Jasper said with a confused expression.

"We have this really old chair, that in the past, women who have sat on it have gotten pregnant pretty soon after. It's said to increase your chances. However, it's that old now and the demand for it was so high, that we have had to stop people from sitting on it."

"Heard everything now," Jasper mused. "Do people beg and plead to sit on it?"

"Oh yeah, you hear some right stories too as to why they should be allowed, but we always have to say no. You can see it, it's in one of the rooms, but you can't sit on it. At the weekends, or when we know it's going to be busy, we corner off that section of the pub so no one tries and takes a seat." Karl finished speaking just as they re-entered one of the pub rooms. "Same again?"

"Please," Jasper answered.

"Coming right up," he grinned. "The chair is next to the fireplace, feel free to have a look but don't try and sit on it."

"I won't," Bella called out as they stood and look at the old chair. "Compared to everything else here, this one is boring."

"This one is nice," Jasper corrected. "You feeling okay now? You were pretty freaked out in that cellar."

"I am now, but in there?" she said, looking in the direction of which they came. "I don't think I've ever felt so scared in all my life! There was just something…. I can't put my finger on it, but it just unnerved me."

"I know it did, darlin'," Jasper whispered, pushing her hair off her shoulder and kissing the mark on her neck. "Gotta admit, it sent my gift crazy."

"Really? You know I did wonder how you would fair with your enhanced abilities," Bella said, walking to the bar and grabbing her pint. "Can I open a tab, Karl?"

"Sure."

"Brill, just gonna nip outside for a fag." Taking her pint and heading outside, she sat on the pub bench and watched as Jasper sat across from her. "How was it for you in there, then?"

"Whatever it is that lurks in there, didn't like me being in there. Even in death, it could sense what I am and in turn, it hated me being there. I am death walking in human form, it's why your instincts will flare up from time to time. You know I'm deadly and so did it."

"That's strange, because it's a spirit of some sort, a demon maybe?"

"It's not strange, it's logical," Jasper said taking a smoke from her packet. "A creation from the devil would react the same way. Look at it this way," he said, taking a long pull of his smoke. "Two gangs living in the same area, both have lines. One crosses to the other side, there's gonna be a whole push-pull thing. Same here. They wanted me out for fear I may never leave."

"Ah, okay, so were you scared?" She asked, taking a drink, "I know I was, but you? You didn't seem fazed at all."

"Scared for you, yes, not for me," he replied with a smile. "Who knows what sort of things that thing can do and do to you. There isn't much it could do to me, but you? You, on the other hand, it could have turned its attention to you to get me to leave."

"Glad I didn't stay in that cellar now," Bella said.

"Me too." He smiled for a fraction of a second before she saw his eyes narrow slightly.

Turning her head, she looked behind her but saw nothing. Confused she looked back at Jasper, who still had his eyes trained on something she couldn't see.

"What is it?" Bella asked, leaning over the table a little bit.

"Vampire, one I don't know." Jasper replied, his eyes never leaving what they were fixed on.

"Another vampire?" she asked, standing quickly and moving to Jasper's side. "What does this mean?"

"Nothing," he said before looking at her. "It was a Volturi guard, I think Caius sent someone to see what was happening."

"Oh…" she replied, not really sure what this meant to her, or to them.

"Don't worry about it, I'm sure Caius will be expecting me to tell him all about the fact I have a new mate when I return," Jasper said putting out his smoke. "Though, with his tab seeing us and me seeing him, there won't be much for me to say. Come on, let's enjoy the rest of the day, the sun breaks out tomorrow."

"That means I get to see you sparkle," she grinned happily.

"It certainly does."

* * *

 _ **AN:**_ _God I was nervous writing this hump. It's the first time I've written a hump in 3rd person, so it was slightly alien to me. I hope I did it justice and you guys enjoyed it._

 _History time. So, The tale of the cursed galleon. Rumour has it that it did come from a man off a boat, who couldn't afford to pay for his drinks. He gave the galleon as payment. It's said that a lot of sailors would make galleons on boats as a way to pass the time. And while Nottingham is inland, it did once use to be a busy inland port. The river Trent is massive and is navigable for quite large vessels all the way to the Humber and the North Sea._

 _When the galleon was placed inside the pub, the curse began. And to this day, its covered in thick dust and no one dares to touch it. The tour in the pub is true, along with the tale of the two locals who attempted to spend the night in there. It has a very strange feel to it, and its pretty damn creepy in the cellars. The tours are fantastic._

 _I do hope I'm not boring you all with this stuff. I wanted them to do things and do different things to what is normally written and being as Bella once told Jasper all these things in emails at the start, I figured this was the best way to have them do stuff._

 _So, one last chapter of them being together before he departs and things ramp up a bit._

 _Reviews would be lovely if you wouldn't mind. Thanks!_


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